never_quit Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 My ex and I were inseparable until she moved away in May of 2009 for a job. The place she moved to was 6 hours away and we were able to see each a couple times per month. She got a new job in October 2009 of last year. I visited her in mid-January 2010 during which time I asked her if we should break up. She said "I can't imagine not having you in my life." This was the last time I saw her. We staying in fairly regular phone contact, but it was hard because we were both super busy. She didn't call me once and I was upset. The next day she suddenly said "I can't do this anymore." We talked for another week or so and were on relatively friendly terms. Once night I texted her and she did not respond so I called and left a message. She never answered, but the next day she texted me and apologized for not answering. I was traveling so she said call me when you get back. When I returned and called she was very cold to me and said that she did not want to be my friend anymore or to have any more contact. She was my absolute closest and best friend. I was devastated. Afterwards I wrote her a couple of letters and she did not respond. These were not begging or pleading letters, but basically me reaching out to her. I sent her about three small gifts and did not beg her to come back. She never responded to these. I asked her to meet with me since I was going to be in the town where she lives and she refused. I sent her about four snail mail letters which were not responded to. In mid-July I got an email from her telling me that she does not want to me to contact her at all. I sent a response apologizing for contacting her and told her that I would leave any future contact to her. I have not phoned her since our last conversation in mid-March. I have not emailed her since July 31st. Every single day I think about her and have been able to stay strong and not contact her. I am so dying to talk to her. I know that she is the One and I do not want to give up. Any suggestions on where to go. It has been four months since we've had any contact at all. My feelings for her have not changed. I want to have a shot at reconciliation. Is there any chance or should I just give up?
Idalis Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 Its sort of hard to know with the information provided. I mean you went from being fine to one her not calling you and then breaking up with you b/c you were upset? There has to be more to it than that? The thing with LDR's is that you REALLY need to have your own life, you can't dwell on ONE phone call or ONE unanswered text b/c you will literally drive yourself crazy. If you were getting upset over these things repeatedly I think that would drive anyone over the edge and to the point of just wanting to end things. If she never replied to any of your attempts to reach out and then specifically asked you to NOT contact her anymore I think you need to respect her wishes. I can only say this much, that as a woman I would find it hard to not do some sort of reply to numerous little gifts or tokens of affection, the fact that she did not reply to any of your attemps really says A LOT. It says that she is really past the point of caring, given that, I would say that you need to move on. You've made it this far with out her and you are okay. Its holiday season, its easy to get nostalgic but you will be okay if you give it time. I know its hard, goodbyes are never easy, but I feel like from what you say, you've done enough to get her back. There's always groveling at her feet but is that really the kind of love you want? The kind that has to be forced? You're better off for waiting for someone who loves you in that same uncontrollable way.
Author never_quit Posted December 3, 2010 Author Posted December 3, 2010 Thanks, Idalis. In her last email she indicated that she thought that I was being selfish by contacting her when she had told me not to. She said that my actions had "severely deteriorated" any chances that we had of being friends in the future. She seem angry that I had contacted her when she asked me not to. Do you really think that I have no chance for any reconciliation. I mean, I have lived a long time and she is as close to me as anyone has been. That is why I have been suffering so mightily. Do you think she will contact me at some point? I really would like to one more shot, but if I wait too long to re-initiate contact then there will be no hope. We had talked about marriage, etc. I know that she was really attracted to me and we always got along well. I am in such pain. She is my true love... i just want a little hope.
Idalis Posted December 7, 2010 Posted December 7, 2010 I understand what you're saying. I really do. But, trust me, there will be someone else for you later on. Love, when its real, is not this complicated and it doesn't make you hurt and be miserable. I think you definitely have a hope, with someone ELSE though. And although I know thats not what you want to hear right now you really need to live your life as if she will never be a part of it again. Worst case scenario you move on, make a life you are happy with and probably meet someone else who will share your feelings. thats the WORST CASE scenario. If she for some reason happened to come back in to your life then you can work on that, but I think you've made enough moves and you need to just be happy knowing that you gave it your all.
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