do some girls like to be chased?

[nice-easy-day]

All of my best relationships have always been 50/50 with phone calls, asking for dates, ect.

 

But I'm wondering. Are there some girls out there who prefer for the man to do all the leg work? The best word I have for it is "old fashioned".

 

I started seeing a girl three weeks ago that seems really interested but she doesn't take initiative in ANYTHING. I'm ok with that, but I'm used to the modern girls who just go with the flow. Normally I would read into it that I'm supposed to take 'the hint'. In this case I'm not so sure.

 

So are there girls out there who expect the guy to do the chasing?

[AverageJoe]

If you did not do your fifty percent, you probably never would have gotten to know the ones you knew.

[NoLongerSad]

Girls liked to be chased until they catch you.

[fishtaco]

Yeah, but you should just do what you do. I say 50/50 is a good way to go. You put in your 50, if that's not enough, you walk and find someone else. Plenty of women out there that would do 50/50.

[nice-easy-day]

Girls liked to be chased until they catch you.

 

Kind of like 'guys like to chase until they catch you'.

[musemaj11]

Whats next?

 

Is the sky blue?

 

Is it cold in the winter?

 

Does it make you fat if you eat a lot?

[TooAccepting32]

hmm... I like it if the guy does most of the legwork at first.

I like it mostly though if a guy is nice and direct and does not expect me to chase him.

He sets himself apart from other men when he takes the risk of telling me straight out what he thinks of me and that he wants to take me out. Makes it clear he's paying, doesn't accept my money, invests a little.

 

It takes guts, and it shows that I'm worth the risk to him.

 

I want someone with guts who values me.

 

I want someone who will work hard at a relationship, and someone who will share of his resources.. for me the courting stage gives clues about all of that. (or red flags depending on the man lol)

 

There should be signs that the girl is into you and willing to share and work at a relationship also. If you tell her you like it when she calls you, watch and see if she calls. Watch to see if she does little things for you like rub your back if you've had a bad day. See if the convo is all about her, or if she would support you if you have a bad day at work.

[Surrealist]

**** if I try and do anything beyond subtle flirting with chicks I would have the cops called on me, so I cant help ya mate. My advice, back the **** away unless you want to end up on stalking charges or something.

[Mad Max]

Some do, some are more willing to chase themselves or at the very least put in an equal amount of effort. I refuse to chase and will not put in more than 50% effort, even if it is in the beginning. Expecting the man to do most of the work is outdated. For me personally, I know there will be girls interested, so why should I chase?

[zengirl]

A man has to be assertive and show interest, as well as do most of the contacting and planning on the first few dates with me. Won't go out with a fella who doesn't; I've tried before and learned that lesson. On my end, I make sure I am responsive, punctual, and encouraging. . . I show up on time, give him my full attention, respond to messages promptly, if I have to decline an invitation, I make a suggestion for another time, etc. But I don't do any chasing early on.

 

Now, once I'm in a relationship, I'll contact a man. I call or text my boyfriend whenever I think to, and I don't calculate who's doing what, etc. But that's because at this point, I know him, and we're a team. In the beginning, it works best -- for what I want, which is a mature relationship that is serious and leading towards marriage -- to encourage but not be too proactive in the relationship. Only one person leads at a time in any dance. Later, when we know each other better, we can take turns back and forth, but that part comes later.

[fishtaco]

On my end, I make sure I am responsive, punctual, and encouraging. . .

 

Thank you. Basically, I take a step forward first (because I'm a man), so you take a step forward, then I take another step, then you respond by taking another step... etc.

 

Anytime anyone drops the ball, i.e. doesn't take the step, it's their responsibility to come back with damage control, or you walk, doesn't matter men or women's side.

[musemaj11]

You need to chase only if you are uglier than your target.

 

It is the fact.

 

A girl will wine and dine you if she thinks you are the catch, not her.

 

Now the problem is that men dont want women who are uglier than themselves. So make your choice.

 

Personally Im not a fan of biting more than I can chew, so I dont need to chase.

Edited December 3, 2010 by musemaj11

[that girl]

Three weeks is nothing. It means you probably haven't been on more than 3 dates.

 

I think it is pretty common for girls to expect the guy to make the effort until a relationship is established. It might be because she is old fashion or it could be that she worries about overwhelming a guy or it could be that she isn't that invested in him yet.

 

I wonder if you're young enough that most of your dating was in high school or college. I think girls are more likely to make 50% of the effort early on when they already have some kind of relationship to the guy. That can be different than how they would act with a stranger.

[nice-easy-day]

Many good points were brought up. I think it comes down to everyone is just a little different. Personally, I don't mind doing a little chasing early on (first few dates). Some guys won't, that's fine for them.

 

I actually don't feel to comfortable with a girl if she is too pushy from the start. It makes me think that she's the same with all guys and I'm just her next play toy.