shocked_confused Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 Hey guys, I posted this same post in the "Coping" forum but nobody has been responding, so I thought I'd try here. Yesterday was the 2 week mark of NC from my boyfriend of 6 years (we broke up first weekend of November). If you don't know my story, you can click on the link below if you'd like. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t253633/ Anyway, the first week and a half was pretty easy for me, I felt good, almost relieved (even though I'm the dumpee). But now that I'm over the 2 week mark, I'm feeling anxious and scared that he's found someone else. I keep thinking "if he didn't find anyone else yet, he would at least be texting me". I refuse to break NC, there's no way I'll break down, trust me. I DO NOT want to give him the satisfaction. My friends always thought I could do better, but for superficial reasons. They don't think he'll do better. He's not a traditionally good looking guy, but I loved him and saw something in him that other people didn't. But now that we're broken up, I'm trying to convince myself that he will never do better than me, partially because of this. But I know deep down that looks don't matter in the grand scheme of things...anyway enough crazy talk.... I just want to heal and forget about him. I'm not really asking a question...I just wanted to vent and hear your thoughts and see if anyone can relate. BLAA.
kheart Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 (edited) Relationships are not easy. If things are not working out and one feels the need to make a decision, make sure it is a decision that no matter what, there is no turning back. Therefore, stick to NC. Edited December 3, 2010 by kheart
Fufu Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 Focus on yourself, not him. Thinking about him will make you feel more terrible only..
flower88 Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 this must be very hard on you. the old saying, set him free, if he comes back he is yours forever. think on the bright side, afterall you had been together for 6 years, and you are still young, you get your freedom back and you can meet someone new. i broke up with my first bf when i was your age, i recovered within 3 months and found a new bf. really, is not that bad with your age. you will cry for a while but you will spring back.
PowerOfOne Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 I'm on 2 weeks NC now as well. I went straight into NC after we said our goodbyes and whatnot. She was leaving for a month overseas with her family 5 days later so i focused on making it until then without calling her or texting with a 'i miss you' etc. She won't be back for another 4 weeks and even though i know she's got her phone on her I've convinced myself that contacting her while she's on holiday would be counter-productive. That includes her birthday in a week... The last two days had been good, focused on work and even did a workout for the first time in years. Today i hit a wall though... must be because it's the weekend.
whatadeer26 Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 You're doing great! Keep up with NC. It has helped me a lot.
SlawKing Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 I can feel your pain. I'm about a month into no contact (except for one email just asking for my stuff back) and I know how hard it can be. We were together for nearly four years and she's already dating someone else. You can get really down from time to time, but the best thing to do is exercise, go to the mall, or go out with your friends. Have some fun. Eventually no contact will get easier and you might even find someone else who makes you forget about your ex entirely.
Author shocked_confused Posted December 3, 2010 Author Posted December 3, 2010 Heyy thanks guys for your advice and wise words. It's been difficult these days, but good news is that I don't feel the need to text/call him myself. Although it would be nice if he contacted me, it's probably best that he doesn't at this point. You guys are awesome.
AlisaMarie Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 Heyy thanks guys for your advice and wise words. It's been difficult these days, but good news is that I don't feel the need to text/call him myself. Although it would be nice if he contacted me, it's probably best that he doesn't at this point. You guys are awesome. 8 days for me... 15 for you! I for some reason had it hit me last night like a ton of bricks... "why am I doing this to myself?" I am sooo much better off thinking of all the crap he pulled. But this morning, I was down again. At least I felt good for a moment, that hasn't happened in a while. Baby steps?
Author shocked_confused Posted December 3, 2010 Author Posted December 3, 2010 8 days for me... 15 for you! I for some reason had it hit me last night like a ton of bricks... "why am I doing this to myself?" I am sooo much better off thinking of all the crap he pulled. But this morning, I was down again. At least I felt good for a moment, that hasn't happened in a while. Baby steps? haha baby steps indeed... I'm just like you tho, I feel great some moments and not so great at other times. But I think its normal at this point. And considering we're freshly single I think we're doing pretty good on our own And the "feeling good" moments are starting to come more frequently for me, especially with Christmas coming and seeing friends/family a whole lot more. We'll get through this one way or another! Can't wait.
Damaged23 Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 1 week for me since the breakup and today I feel pretty crappy :/ I miss him
AlisaMarie Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 9 Days... slowly feeling a little better. Down to like 10 cries instead of non stop. ahhhh....
Author shocked_confused Posted December 4, 2010 Author Posted December 4, 2010 17 days NC...feeling good too...the last time I cried was 13 days ago, is that normal? lol..
AlisaMarie Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 That's awesome! All I do is cry. It's slowly ok. I get triggered sometimes.
strangeways Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 17 days NC...feeling good too...the last time I cried was 13 days ago, is that normal? lol.. I'm almost 10 weeks NC and I cried last night. Haven't cried for the whole 10 weeks. I'm a man by the way, not that it makes much difference. I've been feeling great recently but sometimes, well, something just overcomes you. It goes in cycles. The longer you're in NC the quicker you get over the bumps until you don't have them any more. Feel good today.
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