lovebitme Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 First time I've posted on this girl who I've been seeing. I wouldn't call it a relationship, but more like the getting to know you stage. The situation is a little sticky. Neither one of us see ourselves living in the same area a year from now IF our plans in life work out the way we want. We both have some career goals that would put us in different areas of the country. This may or may not pan out which we both have talked about but right now we are not sure. My attitude is just go for it and worry about the rest later. I think she is a little smarter and seems to be backing off from me because of uncertainty in the future. I told her my feelings for her but she only said she just wants things to be fair to both of us. Now I get the feeling she's kindly telling me to "back off". I can't read her on this and I don't expect her to be upfront with me on her feelings. Nuff said. Here is my question. I know I have to back off from this girl but am I better off keeping it light or just outright letting go, moving on, and in about 6 months contact her again when I know we'll BOTH have a better understanding of where we'll be at in life? It would be nice to get to know her in the mean time but you know how it goes. I'm afraid that if I try too hard at this point (I'm the type that tries) it will only ruin whatever chance we have. I don't do well with the "friends" thing with the opposite sex. So is it possible to drop relationships and then pick them up at a later time? How do girls respond to this?
ShatteredReality Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 I always feared letting go completely and trying to pick things back up later. You don't know where that person will be 6 mo from now...it's not a bad idea to keep a casual friendship going. Maybe e-mails or phone calls one or twice a week...a date every other week...super slow and not serious until you both know where things are at with eachother...
Author lovebitme Posted December 3, 2010 Author Posted December 3, 2010 Maybe e-mails or phone calls one or twice a week...a date every other week...super slow and not serious until you both know where things are at with eachother... That's exactly what I'm doing now and it's like having teeth pulled. Maybe I just need to be more patient. I've been told that women appreciate friendships in a way men can't understand. Oh well.
ShatteredReality Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 We do. We see a relationship built on a great friendship as a Forever relationship. If you can be her friend you can be there for her forever.
nice-easy-day Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 So is it possible to drop relationships and then pick them up at a later time? There is no way to answer this question. I've picked up old friends in the past and started dating them. Others I tried, but they were not available, interested or their life was no longer compatible with mine. Sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn't and that's the only answer. I think it's more of a question of what you can handle. Stop thinking about what might or might not happen and look after your sanity first. I've drove myself insane in the past with a few girls that were nothing but a "hope." If you can let go of the hope and just be her friend then go for it. If you can't, I'd advise you drop her completely and move on because you'll be wasting your time. Wasting time means: because you have feelings for this girl your going to pass up other potential girls who might be a lot better for you. When your focused on one tree you're unable to see the forrest around you. I speak from experience. That 'one girl' you can't have takes you off the market for the rest. And think if it this way. If you're really a great guy is it fair to the other great girls out there who are also looking for someone in their life?
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