AlwaysConflicted Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 My ex girlfriend broke up with me roughly 7 months ago and I’m still hung up. She broke up with me for reasons that no longer exist. In fact, most of them didn’t exist at the time of the breakup. I’m annoyed and disappointed that she ended our relationship without sitting down to talk to me about her questions and problems. I don’t want to get into the story, but she broke up with me shortly after I was let go from my job. I had switched careers 5 months prior to dating her and when she found out she accused me of selling her on someone I was not. She’s 29 and searching for a husband. My guess is that when my money dried up she saw a big financially UNSTABLE sign for our future together. I don’t know it for sure, but it seems likely given her personality. Even though many signs point to emotionally dull with a hint of gold digger, I still miss her and want to have a civilized chat. She doesn’t. I asked her to catch up a month ago and she denied it. There were some other things that I believe led to the downfall of our relationship, but nothing we couldn’t figure out. It seems like no one talks about their issues, they just run when things get bumpy. I feel emotionally abused by this last relationship and reluctant to have my heart broken yet again. The pain doesn't just affect my love life, it interferes in all aspects of my life. It's too destructive for me.
AlisaMarie Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 It seems like no one talks about their issues, they just run when things get bumpy. I am feeling this exact same way. Everyone is disposable. Nobody wants to work it out and talk. The few that do usually aren't together- that's why divorce rate is so high. There are no morals, values, and traditions are dwindling. It's so depressing. I am sorry it has been 7 months and you're still hurting. How long has it been since you have made contact with her?
swfc_77 Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 i dont know what to put to make things better for you mate, but it seems there's a lot of people who look at what you have and not what you are. seems strange because if i met some else i would only ask what they did for a living for the sake of making conversation. i wouldn't dream of being with someone for financial support. i have met a few women in my time and i think i tend to go for the bad ones because a lot of them want to know what i do for a living and what i earn, usually the attractive ones. i still ask myself the same questions as you have written. truth is i think from my experience, my ex was only happy when was spending money and 9/10 times it was mine, she wasn't contempt with chilling out, but in the long run she wanted a nice house and nice things and go to nice places every weekend and even after i finished work. 1 example jus to show ou how it worked - we both were off work 1 saturday so i got up and looked on the internet for something to do, i found a place in the country, a really beautiful part of england for us to take a walk have a laugh with each other and take in the views. we went - she moaned - we went to the nearest town - she spent a bomb on clothes, a meal and even spend £25.00 in the village sweet shop. no joke. its not the same as your situation but if its all about money, then there's not much room for anything else. if you had have got your ex the big house, financial security, nice life. do you think it would have been enough for her or would she want just a bit more?
ResetReality Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 (edited) Hello AC long time no speak man, I know how you feel homie, been 7 months since my ex dumped me, How time flies eh! its crazy man Xmas this year is going to be tough for me, but hey ho, no point dwelling on it, and you should think the same, 7 months is a long time, and TBH it is a good job you got out of the relationship, Imagine loosing your job while you were married!! what would she do then? Listen man, you dont need a woman like that, I understand you had alot of good times, after 7 months I still still think of my ex although I feel upset its like 1 second a day but we dont need people like that in our lives if anything I would like to thank my ex, she taught me alot about our failed relationship more about myself and more about the sort of girl I would like to date while shes out there living in her la-la land thinking shes the perfect one... when you find someone better you will see, you'll laugh at yourself for even thinking about her like she was a goddess stay strong man, and dont contact her Edited December 2, 2010 by ResetReality
Author AlwaysConflicted Posted December 3, 2010 Author Posted December 3, 2010 Thanks for the responses. I appreciate them. The money thing definitely freaked her out and I sort of understand it. We're not 21 and just out of college. Were about 30...the time when our careers should be on the rise. However, I think she over reacted. But you're right, in the long run do I want to be with a woman like that? Probably not, but she was extremely attractive and that hypnotized me. It still does to some degree which is why I have trouble walking away. It was the 1st time I actually dated someone "hot". Others have been attractive, but she was the kind of girl you definitely stare at. Anyways, I need to get over this superficial sh*t, it really stands in the way of me meeting a decent woman.
IfiKnewThen Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 ok i am not one of you guys. but i miss that guy soooooooo much. its 7 months here and still sadly feels like yesterday. i am still in denial too. still wishing , hoping praying. some days it feels like he just broke it off. i am still in shock and horror. its like death with rejection. it feels like him as i knew him is dead...but i feel all the rejection. who said its better to have loved and lost. can i smack that person LOL. i am glad for him being in my life. but if i could go back in time and be ignorant and have the bliss of not knowing what its like to have someone like that. just thinking outloud here. everyone is complaining about their person. he was so darn good to me. i wish i could find fault. seriously . i wish he was a __up. i wish he wanted me for my money (i dont have any). i wish he wasnt romantic...i wish he was a creep. ok so his breaking it off was creepy and that sucked. but thats all i have to fall back on. and i hate myself for messing this up. the holidays are hollow days. sorry dont mean to be a downer. can someone kick me unconscious for how stupid i was?
IfiKnewThen Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 sorry always conflicted. i didnt mean to go off track there on your post. i relate to the 7 month mark. and glad you see that physically attractive is a little limited. its not all encompassing. and there are decent woman out there. we all make mistakes. i think when we were young there should have been relationship classes in school. like read men are from mars woman are from venus. mandatory reading lol. anyway fellow 7 month survivors. lets keep hanging in there. thats all we can do.
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