Whose turn is it to ask for the third date? The Person with the Upper Hand, Right?

[beyondhope]

Date 1) Our first "date" (we met on an online dating site but who knows if he considered it a date) went really well for him (it lasted five hours). He asked me out again at the end, I accepted, he emailed me a day later to confirm and told me he really enjoyed my company, but I politely declined because I wasn't as enthusiastic (didn't give him a reason).

 

Date 2) Fast forward two weeks, I email him and say now that I've got time, I'd like to see him again. I didn't think he'd reply, but he responds and we go out and the date lasts six hours, and this time I really enjoy myself. We seem to have good communication chemistry. He emails me the next morning to thank me for a great time, and I reply that he's "wonderful" company and that I had an excellent time, too.

 

At this point, I feel like tides have changed; I think I demonstrated that I'm clearly interested since I asked him out on the second date, and told him I enjoyed myself. Since he emailed the morning after the date to thank me, I know he definitely wants to keep in touch, but since I replied already and since I asked him out last time, I think it's his turn to make a move.

 

However, it's possible he's still weary of being declined due to the first encounter.

 

The problem is, I'm leaving in a week and a half (he doesn't know this) for winter, and also, I live about two hours away, so it's possible that he doesn't want to be rude and ask me to come visit unless I've explicitly stated I'll be in town.

 

What do you all think? Whose move? I don't want to get stuck here because we're both too polite to do the asking!

[Mme. Chaucer]

Dating is not supposed to be a power struggle, so I suggest that you recalibrate your thinking to exclude such concepts as who has the "upper hand" at this point.

 

Since you are leaving, etc., you might as well ask. You don't have much at stake.

[beyondhope]

Ha, sorry, the upper hand thing was something I pulled off a dating advice site. I haven't dated in a while. That makes sense, though

[lovebitme]

It's something that happens naturally. When you put two people together that are interested in each other there is no stopping a third date. Don't worry about it.

 

Don't worry if you should ask him or not. Go ahead and ask, because if he's interested he will say YES! If you have the patience, then just wait for him to ask. You must understand, if he likes you he'll come after you.

 

As my best friend always told me, "when the girl genuinely likes you, it's as easy as apple pie." Sadly, I don't always go by that