brandon26003 Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 My ex broke up with me a month ago today and has been sending mixed signals since. She broke it off suddenly after our first argument and said schedules and distance were a problem. We only dated 4 months but it's the hardest break I've ever had for some reason. We only live 45 minutes from eachother. After the break we went nearly a week without speaking. She spoke to me like nothing happened for a few days and the texts dwindled again. We went a few more days without texting and she texted me. It seemed as if every time I made it known to her that I was ready to move on she would act nice for a few days. Last weekend we had plans to hang out and she broke them the night before saying that she still really likes me and cares about me but she is hesitant to hang out again because she is unsure what she wants. We texted Monday and she seemed to get an attitude saying that she needs time and that I wasn't giving it to her. I responded by saying it would have been nice if you would have told me that when we broke up because I would have respected your wishes then. I told her I was going to step away and if it was meant to happen it would. Would have been nice had she told me that when we broke up. We hadn't spoken since but I jokingly left a message on her facebook wall because my college team beat hers Friday. It is now Thursday, 6 days later, and I haven't had any contact with her. I know most people are going to say to move on but this is probably the hardest breakup I've ever had and we were only together for 4 months. We both really like and care about eachother. She is really busy with school and work. Does this sound like something that she may come back around once I give her what she needs and that is time? Did I wait too long to start no contact? How much longer should I wait to throw a "feeler" text out there? I was considering waiting another 5 days. That will give me a better indication of where it is going because it would have been almost 2 weeks of no contact. I am in no way going to wait on her.
Dorian85 Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 hey man you probably arn't going to like this but ill give you my advice. I think the reason she is wanting space is because she doesn't want to feel held down by a relationship. It has NOTHING to do with you as a person. Im sure you are a great dude and im sure you were great to her. It just has a lot to do with people and their "regrets" she might me feeling a little regret for not experiencing life to the fullest. Ie) being single lol. Ive heard numerous stories of both men and women breaking up with their s/o because of college, vacations, long distance...etc. It all has to do with living life with no regrets. People (myself included) don't like the feeling of being held down or restricted in what they can do/experience. I know it can be a selfish way of thinking, but that's human nature. Most people are uncomfortable with the thought of commitment at such a young age...because it means that you are spending you time/life with only ONE person without ever having the chance to experience new things/people. She seems like a person who just needs to do her living now. Get it all out of her system. You should do the same. Not saying that you have to completely move on from this girl. But don't dwell on this girl for the time being. Get out there and live a little, you may find that there is someone else out there who you have a stronger connection to. good luck
lvixen Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 "Unsure" what she wants. Oh, you can bet your ass she's quite sure of what she wants. She doesn't want to be exclusive with you, but wants to keep you around in case something better doesn't show up. Typical ex behaviour. She wants her "space" but only as long as it doesn't carry any type of emotional commitment. So, in a nutshell, she's simply stringing you along. Don't fall into that trap. Trust me, it's hell to get out of. Just because it was only 4 months doesn't mean the breakup should be any less hard on you. Hell, one time it took me a full 2 months to get over a guy I had only known for 4 days. It's about EMOTIONAL investment, not TIME investment. As for what you should do? Definitely go NC with her. Don't let me play you for the fool. Right now you probably want her in your life anyway you can get her, however, it will hurt A LOT down the road when she tells you that she found someone else. Good luck.
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