username777 Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 I've been researching the concept of No Contact/Low Contact on these forums and I want to know if it works on someone who is already antisocial? My fiance broke up with me yesterday. We were perfect for each other and we got along amazingly with zero fights or arguments, but I made all the classic mistakes. I got emotional, clingy, became a nervous wreck. Plus we got serious way too fast. He still loves me, I just know if I wouldn't have been such a stress case he'd probably still be with me today. I read Matt Huston's book "How to win him back forever" and it talks about the effectiveness of NC. My fiance (I just can't call him anything else yet) is a pretty antisocial person to begin with though, he goes months without talking to his friends and needs a lot of time to himself, plus he's fiercely intelligent. Would going NC really work on someone like him? He still loves me and is going to come see me today, and has done just as much crying as me. I just want to make him realize what he's giving up and if it means not speaking to him for three weeks then I'll do it. I'm terrified of it failing and him falling out of my life completely though. Has anyone had NC fail miserably? Would it work on someone who doesn't talk much to people anyway?
PegNosePete Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 NC is not a "trick" to "get him back". It's a way of helping you cope with the split, and recover. If you're so perfect for each other then why did you split up? Who dumped who, and why?
Don_da_Ho Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 Sis, stop rationalizing and make excuses for him. So many dumpees make the same argument as you: he/she is too stubborn or too proud or too shy to contact me if I do NC, so I better not do it. Sorry to say, if they REALLY love you and want you back they WILL come around if you leave them alone (as Pete said though, NC is not to try to win them back and you shouldn't put your hopes on that). Your relationship may have been perfect in YOUR eyes, but it clearly wasn't in his. To top it off it sounds like he has personality and intimacy issues. Not a good combination for a long term successful relationship. I think you need to re-asses your "relationship", come to terms that it's not right and start healing and moving forward with your life by not having contact with him. Sorry, but I just think you're postponing and continuing your anguish if you continue with him.
Fufu Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 I agree with the rest of the posters. Do not use NC to have hopes to get them back, ended up it will only cause you more pain. If you guys are meant to be together, you guys will be. If not, there are always better things in life.
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