Jump to content

I think I ****ed up...yet again

OceanGirl

By OceanGirl
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

  • Author
OceanGirl Established Member

OceanGirl

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I canceled. I couldn't go through with this. I want a LTR and not FWB and this guy is not for me. I told him that I am sick and asked him to let me know when he is available to re-schedule. I dunno, I just felt obliged to do this.

 

 

He responded with:

 

 

Ha ha - no worries! It seems only fair given that I canceled on you before! I am pretty busy over the next couple of weeks but will give you a call in the New Year. Hope you feel better soon!

 

---------------------------

 

I kind of think that he sounds a bit pissed that he is not going to get sex tonight :S

sb129 Established Member

sb129

Posted
Posted

Oh for goodness sake OG!

 

I am glad that you cancelled, as I don't think you would have felt that great if you had hooked up with him.

 

Why oh why all the dramatics though? And why didn't you just cancel outright- no point rescheduling with him if you don't want to see him.

Ariadne Established Member

Ariadne

Posted
Posted

Hey,

 

Yeah...Good job.

 

You have so many guys that you are seeing and dating that mixed with a FWB was going to be too complicated, plus the guy lives far etc.

 

Seems like he took it like the kiss of death and is not expecting much now.

  • Author
OceanGirl Established Member

OceanGirl

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Yeah sb, imagine if we had sex and then he blew me off for the next 2 weeks as he is "busy for the holidays".... I would feel a lot worse.

  • Author
OceanGirl Established Member

OceanGirl

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Date with the Polish guy is still on tomorrow :)

sb129 Established Member

sb129

Posted
Posted

I like the sound of Polish guy.

 

OG, there is no reason why he is out of your league.

 

Just chill out, relax and ENJOY the date without stressing too much about rules etc.

dispatch3d Established Member

dispatch3d

Posted
Posted
Then for the sake of not creating drama, I will just see him tonight.

 

I don't even think this will become FWB. More like one night of sex and then it's over. I hope I will be able to handle this.

 

As I said, I am not that into him but I worry that I will start attaching after sex.

 

still dramatic, nice try :p

  • Author
OceanGirl Established Member

OceanGirl

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Dispacthed, I just can't handle NSA sex. I can't.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

Posted
Posted
Dispacthed, I just can't handle NSA sex. I can't.

 

But you can handle a one-night stand? :confused:

  • Author
OceanGirl Established Member

OceanGirl

Posted
  • Author
Posted
But you can handle a one-night stand? :confused:

 

 

No, not really. When did I have one?

xpaperxcutx Established Member

xpaperxcutx

Posted
Posted

OG, listen to your intuitions. If the guy is coming across shady, you have a right to cancel and walk away. It really does sound like you made the right choice. Date Polish Guy and relax a little and have fun. Don't put too much emphasis on trying to impress but rather just enjoy your time together.

dispatch3d Established Member

dispatch3d

Posted
Posted

my issue is with the dramafied attitude, not to-nsa sex or not-to nsa sex. I could care less, and neither would be less or more dramatic. The part I bolded was you just showing unnecessary drama. Anyways tired must sleep, best of luck!

  • Author
OceanGirl Established Member

OceanGirl

Posted
  • Author
Posted
OG, listen to your intuitions. If the guy is coming across shady, you have a right to cancel and walk away. It really does sound like you made the right choice. Date Polish Guy and relax a little and have fun. Don't put too much emphasis on trying to impress but rather just enjoy your time together.

 

Yeah paper, I didn't really feel emotionally comfortable with this guy (even if you forget the drugs). I was playing a role on our first date of what I thought he would like. It worked, but I wasn't really even close to being myself. He is just too rough for me - I need a guy that is a bit more sensitive.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

Posted
Posted
No, not really. When did I have one?

 

You said in this thread that it will likely be one night of sex and then it'll be over.

  • Author
OceanGirl Established Member

OceanGirl

Posted
  • Author
Posted
You said in this thread that it will likely be one night of sex and then it'll be over.

 

Yeah and that is basically why I canceled it. I can't cope with ONS, NSA sex or FWB or any other variations.

 

I want to fall in love with someone who will love me back and have a LTR. That's all that I have ever wanted. I shouldn't be wasting time with guys who are obviously not LTR candidates.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

Posted
Posted
I want to fall in love with someone who will love me back and have a LTR. That's all that I have ever wanted. I shouldn't be wasting time with guys who are obviously not LTR candidates.

 

Bingo!! Now we're getting somewhere!! :bunny:

Surrealist Established Member

Surrealist

Posted
Posted
Bingo!! Now we're getting somewhere!! :bunny:

 

Well maybe, but LTR candidates are too boring, apparently?

  • Author
OceanGirl Established Member

OceanGirl

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Well maybe, but LTR candidates are too boring, apparently?

 

 

Not ALL are too boring. A few that I have met through online dating I had either no chemistry with or they were way too passive for me.

 

There has to be a guy that will do it for me and also want a LTR.

Surrealist Established Member

Surrealist

Posted
Posted
Not ALL are too boring. A few that I have met through online dating I had either no chemistry with or they were way too passive for me.

 

There has to be a guy that will do it for me and also want a LTR.

 

Maybe they just don't live in Perth? Might be more luck on the east side. :p

northern_sky Established Member

northern_sky

Posted
Posted

You made the right choice, OG. Frankly, that guy sounded like a loser. I felt like there was something depressing about you having a ONS with him out of loneliness/horniness. It reminds me of when I convince myself I can do FWB, and genuinely feel fine with it before the fact, but then crappy afterwards. If you're like me, it's only possible to enjoy sex with somebody you care about. So in a FWB you either get hurt cause you have feelings or get disgusted because sex without feelings is gross. Maybe it's possible for us to have a satisfying FWB and we just haven't found the right guy...but right now that's just theoretical, at least for me.

Str8noChaser Established Member

Str8noChaser

Posted
Posted

Hey OG, just curious, but do you take mood altering prescription meds?

 

Not asking to be funny or offend you, heck some other poster mentions taking adderall and how it evens out her mood, but I ask because you seem to manically (based on how you post) swing from one emotional extreme "I wanna have FUNNNNN and be ALIVEEEE" to being morose and somber within less than a few days.

 

If you are or aren't (not implying you need to be on anything) it'll explain a whole lot and alter the types of advice you receive.

  • Author
OceanGirl Established Member

OceanGirl

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Hey OG, just curious, but do you take mood altering prescription meds?

 

Not asking to be funny or offend you, heck some other poster mentions taking adderall and how it evens out her mood, but I ask because you seem to manically (based on how you post) swing from one emotional extreme "I wanna have FUNNNNN and be ALIVEEEE" to being morose and somber within less than a few days.

 

If you are or aren't (not implying you need to be on anything) it'll explain a whole lot and alter the types of advice you receive.

 

I am not taking anything.

 

There is no real swing. It's an inner conflict. I try to convince myself that I can be fun and have casual sex and it's all OK. But in reality I can't. It's like when you try to convince yourself that you are over someone or that you don't care about someone. You are saying all the right words out loud but deep down you know the truth. And then when it comes right down to it, you can't hide from the truth or from who you really are.

 

Casual sex is fun and great but it's also empty. Ultimately, I know that I would end up hurt if the guy doesn't call after.And I can't take any more hurt.

 

Again, an example of how hard it is for me to find someone that "gets me".

  • Author
OceanGirl Established Member

OceanGirl

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Example:

 

I say: "I want to be ALIVE and have FUN and have CASUAL SEX!!! WOOOOOOOO"

 

Person that doesn't get me: "YAY - You should enjoy yourself!!!"

 

Person than gets me:" You know that what you really want is a LTR. You know that you emotionally can't handle casual sex. You know that you are just wasting your time here"

 

 

-------------------------

I am not saying that you should get me or care about getting me. But please don't go down the road of suggesting that I take mood altering drugs just because you don't understand where I am coming from.

Surrealist Established Member

Surrealist

Posted
Posted
Example:

 

I say: "I want to be ALIVE and have FUN and have CASUAL SEX!!! WOOOOOOOO"

 

Person that doesn't get me: "YAY - You should enjoy yourself!!!"

 

Person than gets me:" You know that what you really want is a LTR. You know that you emotionally can't handle casual sex. You know that you are just wasting your time here"

 

 

-------------------------

I am not saying that you should get me or care about getting me. But please don't go down the road of suggesting that I take mood altering drugs just because you don't understand where I am coming from.

 

Tbh I must say I was quite, well, shocked... when I read your posts regarding the big grizzly bear and your invite for a possible ONS - cos I never thought you were that way inclined which is why my posts contained a tiddy-bitty sarcasm to them. :p

Str8noChaser Established Member

Str8noChaser

Posted
Posted
But please don't go down the road of suggesting that I take mood altering drugs...

 

If you are or aren't (not implying you need to be on anything)...

 

Example:

 

I say: "I want to be ALIVE and have FUN and have CASUAL SEX!!! WOOOOOOOO"

 

Person that doesn't get me: "YAY - You should enjoy yourself!!!"

 

Person than gets me:" You know that what you really want is a LTR. You know that you emotionally can't handle casual sex. You know that you are just wasting your time here"

 

You like to go on the ledge and flail about and although you have no intention of jumping, like having others say don't jump to you over and over again. Gotcha.

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...