elaina Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 (edited) Nah he has his own place and lives by himself. He is from London originally and his parents live there. He is FUN and I want to see him again. The problems with Polish guy are following: He is a genius and has so much knowledge about any topic on Earth. I think that I am pretty smart but he is smarter than me hands down. That scares me. He is also extremely picky. He is looking for either LTR or nothing. He has dated so many girls in the past year and none did it for him. It's laughable to think that he is actually going to like me. In summary, Polish guy is out of my league and he will realize that once we meet. Oceangirl, that is so sad. Why in the world do you down yourself like this? Do people you know criticize you and put you down all the time? The Polish guy sounds like a wonderful guy, and you are holding his intelligence and desire for a LTR against him? Why??? I do not date a guy unless I consider him smarter than me, (well I don't even think "smarter than..." just highly intelligent, though I'm not proud... I don't think of myself as extremely intelligent I just appreciate his intelligence, as well as other qualities, like kind, funny, attractive (to me), loves animals and nature,... Also, I think you need to gain strength from your screenname... ocean ... girl Oceans are a strong, confident force of nature, if you will. They are powerful and beautiful and natural lol of course. They do not worry about if something is "out of their league." What is this? Be confident girl! Be positive! No wonder you are having a hard time finding true love, because you gave up. If an athlete gives up, he/she never wins the prize. Don't give up! And don't use qualities of another person against them please? Just be yourself, and enjoy getting to know him, and guard your heart... but don't lock your heart against him before he even gets to know you better and before you get to know him better. At least give him a chance. Maybe he isn't "the one", but this fear and being scared of his intelligence isn't helping him or you. Think of the ocean... the sun rising/setting on the water, the strong waves washing the shore... don't worry about this "out of league" idea... just be yourself. Don't give up on your dreams. Even when the going gets tough, as the saying says "the tough get going." Edited December 20, 2010 by elaina
Surrealist Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Comeone Elaina cut her some slack, I think OG has finally found a new leash on her dating life. She's discovered the raw passion of hunky big hard guys with equally hunky big hard cocks! OG only need to nail this (sorry about the pun) new leash on her dating life and she will be well on her way to perpetual dating bliss. OG doesn't want a boring monogamous relationship with some boring LTR type guy. So in tune with current popular values and preferences, I say live it up! Throw caution to the wind! Experiment! Be safe! Have lots of sex and lots of fun!
Star Gazer Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 OG doesn't want a boring monogamous relationship with some boring LTR type guy. She, like most women, doesn't want a boring relationship. But I think you're dead wrong that she doesn't want a monogamous relationship with someone who's LTR-oriented. I think she does. She's having difficulty finding it, so she's settling and slumming, which she shouldn't do.
Author OceanGirl Posted December 20, 2010 Author Posted December 20, 2010 Never heard from the LSD guy Ariadne and I have completely forgotten about him. Surrealist, unfortunately I feel like my heart has closed completely to the prospect of falling in love and finding a LTR. I am already thinking of what is good way to make that rugby player leave after sex tomorrow. He is coming to my place and I really don't want him sleeping over. I don't sleep well with someone else in the same bad, in particular someone I have zero connection with apart form the physical. Let me know if you can think of a good way to kick him out without offending him.
Str8noChaser Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Let me know if you can think of a good way to kick him out without offending him. Most times, especially if there is no prior emotional connection, we want to bail ourselves. Just tell him you have an early morning. Or you can't sleep comfortably with another person. Etc etc. He'll be glad he didn't have to come up with an excuse himself. Have fun!!
Surrealist Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 I am already thinking of what is good way to make that rugby player leave after sex tomorrow. He is coming to my place and I really don't want him sleeping over. I don't sleep well with someone else in the same bad, in particular someone I have zero connection with apart form the physical. Let me know if you can think of a good way to kick him out without offending him. Hmmmm this is a problem. Be very careful, you might find the big grizzly bear sound asleep snoring his head off seconds after he nuts one all over you and you'll have a lot of trouble kicking the guy out! I suggest you offer him a cup of coffee beforehand and throw a 100mg caffeiene tablet in with the coffee (or any beverage in the event he doesn't drink coffee) and give that to him. Caffeiene tablets have no tastes and very small and should dissolve in liquid. You can buy them cheap from any local chemist in a bottle of 100 tabs or so. Failing that, you can just let him know BEFOREHAND that you prefer that noone sleeps over so he is well aware of his boundaries, but my cocnern with this approach is that you won't tell him this, and you will be left with the awkward task of having to tell him after the action, and he may well feel rejected by this, and carry a feeling of inadequacy and incompetence at his perceived lack of performance, of which he may well probe you about, which could potentially turn into an argument, which wouldn't make a nice ending to the night.
Ariadne Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Let me know if you can think of a good way to kick him out without offending him. And he lives far, doesn't he? That's going to be tough. At least it's Summer over there.
Author OceanGirl Posted December 20, 2010 Author Posted December 20, 2010 She, like most women, doesn't want a boring relationship. But I think you're dead wrong that she doesn't want a monogamous relationship with someone who's LTR-oriented. I think she does. She's having difficulty finding it, so she's settling and slumming, which she shouldn't do. Exactly SG. I am beyond disillusioned. I have been on soooo many dates and none of the guys were quite right. I am currently on the fence about canceling the date with that rugby player/druggie..
Star Gazer Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 Exactly SG. I am beyond disillusioned. I have been on soooo many dates and none of the guys were quite right. I am currently on the fence about canceling the date with that rugby player/druggie.. My thoughts? If you don't feel some excitement/butterflies AND think the guy has sincere LTR potential, don't date him. Period.
Author OceanGirl Posted December 20, 2010 Author Posted December 20, 2010 Druggie is already annoying me. We are supposed to hang out at my apartment tomorrow. Yesterday only he has sent me a message that he is looking forward to it etc. The last plan was that he will text me when he is on the way home from work tomorrow (as he is traveling to investigate a sexual harassment claim to the other end of the state so is not sure when he will be back - he is actually traveling 300kms one way). Anyhow, today I have sent him a message through the OKC: Hey, Text me sometime tomorrow to give me an idea of when to expect you. He has logged in but didn't respond. I was hoping for at least some estimate on time. I have no idea if he plans to come over at 7pm, 9pm or 11pm. I am now being put in the dreaded position of waiting for the text all day and all evening, not even knowing if he will show up. I dunno if I should get the apartment ready, get myself ready etc. It's just annoying and I am not even that keen on him. Should I even assume that we are still on?
anne1707 Posted December 20, 2010 Posted December 20, 2010 If the last plan was that he text you TOMORROW then you should not be complaining because he hasn't responded to you today. On this point he has done nothing wrong. Though for the life of me, I cannot understand how you would consider having sex with somebody who you are not keen on.
Author OceanGirl Posted December 20, 2010 Author Posted December 20, 2010 On another note, I have been IM-ing with another OKC guy (not the Polish guy - we are still on for Weds - this other guy, let's call him guy#3. He asked me what my plans are for NYE and I don't have any yet so he suggested having the first date on NYE. He says that he a hopeless romantic (and he is cute too) so this kind of appeals to me. He wants to book a fairly expensive dinner at the top of this 100nd floor building. I am tempted to go. He said we can have our first kiss at midnight lol I am seriously considering this.
Author OceanGirl Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 Druggie is true to his word. He texted me at 1pm that he can be at my place at around 7pm. He added "that is if you still want to see me" What does the last bit mean? Is he trying to get out of it in a round about way. As in maybe he doesn't want to see me and is projecting??
Ariadne Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 What does the last bit mean? That he senses you may want to back off.
Author OceanGirl Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 That he senses you may want to back off. But do you think he still wants to come or just feels obliged to?
Star Gazer Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 But do you think he still wants to come or just feels obliged to? He wants to make sure the NSA deal is still on, that you're not changing the name of the game.
Author OceanGirl Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 What to do? Should I go forward with this 2nd date? Ugh
Author OceanGirl Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 He wants to make sure the NSA deal is still on, that you're not changing the name of the game. Even though I told him not to expect sex?
Star Gazer Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 What to do? Should I go forward with this 2nd date? Ugh You want a LTR. Is he LTR material? Is that what he's looking for? If yes to both, see him again. If not, don't.
Star Gazer Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 2nd "dates" at someone's house is pretty much code for booty. Particularly when the first date wasn't a date so much as a first meeting wherein you almost mounted him in public at the bar. He knows what to expect, particularly because you told him not to expect it.
dispatch3d Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 I've come to realize you're biggest problem is definitely drama. I mean, I haven't read the thread but I don't think I have to. The fact that when you stopped posting on here it just spilled over into your family+friends is just a sign that you are drama-bombing way too often. Gotta figure out ways to reduce this. For me I just did a drama strike and now I view these things with a lot of distaste. Other guys you meet may experience this same thing (that you are pretty damn dramatic) and not want to deal with it.
Author OceanGirl Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 Then for the sake of not creating drama, I will just see him tonight. I don't even think this will become FWB. More like one night of sex and then it's over. I hope I will be able to handle this. As I said, I am not that into him but I worry that I will start attaching after sex.
Author OceanGirl Posted December 21, 2010 Author Posted December 21, 2010 It always amuses me how far guys go for sex. Remember, it took me about 3 months to meet this guy. He kept coming up with excuses not me meet me. And then he kept contacting me again through OKC. It was weird. His excuses were that I won't like him because he is a smoker, that I won't like him because he has recently shaved his head etc etc. Then he finally meets me and I jump on him an hour into the date Suddenly the possibility of sex is on the table. Post that - no problems with contact or scheduling dates. He has sent me 10 texts the night after the first date (which was on Friday) and wanted to see me on Monday. I was busy and only had Tuesday free. Coincidentally, Tuesday is the day when he has to get up at 3am and drive 600kms within a day - and on the TOP of that, he has to drive an hour to get to my place. But no problems at all - he will gladly do it all because sex is on the table. Men are funny.
Ariadne Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 But do you think he still wants to come or just feels obliged to? Of course he wants to see you. He is like a soldier now, when before it was a whole trouble to see him. Have fun if you decide to see him!
Ariadne Posted December 21, 2010 Posted December 21, 2010 it took me about 3 months to meet this guy. He kept coming up with excuses not me meet me....Post that - no problems with contact or scheduling dates. He has sent me 10 texts the night after the first date (which was on Friday) and wanted to see me on Monday. I just read this. Yeah.....
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