LuvHurtsme Posted March 11, 2004 Posted March 11, 2004 OK me and my gf broke up about 2 weeks ago. It wasn't pretty. We were very much in love but had recently started having problems. We were fighting and had even taken a "break" a week before and decided we couldnt handle it because we loved being around each other so much. Everything seemed ok. One night I saw an old fling and we talked for a bit, nothing serious at all. Just a hello type thing. However my fling and my gf disliked each other and my gf found out and called me the next morning saying she couldnt trust me and started going through all the fights we had which were my fault. Like I said its been 2 weeks since then and things have not gotten much better. We are talking on the phone somewhat but she says she can't trust me. To make matters worse since we broke up she has decided to move to Arizona with this guy from work. She wants to go to school out there apparently. Sometimes she acts spontaneous like this and comes up with these ideas, but she seems completely serious about it. She's kissed this guy from work, but they arent together. Me and her still talk and she tells me how much she loves me, misses me, and wants to have sex. She says she just can't trust me. I've tried so many things so in a last ditch effort I plan on going over to her house and proposing the idea of getting away from MI the two of us, going to arizona and being together. I dont know what will happen but I love this girl sooo much. Any advice?
curiousgeorge Posted March 11, 2004 Posted March 11, 2004 seems like you already made your mind up buddy so let us know what happens.
Author LuvHurtsme Posted March 17, 2004 Author Posted March 17, 2004 **UPDATE** I have gone to talk to my ex several times, and we have cried over it. She says she loves me and wants to be with me with all of her heart, but she just can't trust me. I really want to change for her and have told her that and she still doesn't believe me. If she moves to Arizona I will be crushed. I still have a few months to sway her decision and prove to her that she needs to be with me. But I need some advice....anyone?
wishfullthinker2004 Posted March 19, 2004 Posted March 19, 2004 Don't give up, when the connection is thate deep. Nothing can stop you.
Author LuvHurtsme Posted March 19, 2004 Author Posted March 19, 2004 Originally posted by wishfullthinker2004 Don't give up, when the connection is thate deep. Nothing can stop you. I'm trying not to, its so hard I just feel like everything is hopeless. I'm not going to give up tho, I love her too much. Any more ideas?
saintfrancis Posted March 19, 2004 Posted March 19, 2004 Let me get this straight. She "can't trust you" because you TALKED to another woman that you had a past with, but only 2 weeks after your breakup she has already made plans to MOVE AWAY AND MOVE IN with another man?? I don't want to sound rude, but... is this flake really worth your anguish? Am I missing something here?
Author LuvHurtsme Posted March 20, 2004 Author Posted March 20, 2004 Originally posted by saintfrancis Let me get this straight. She "can't trust you" because you TALKED to another woman that you had a past with, but only 2 weeks after your breakup she has already made plans to MOVE AWAY AND MOVE IN with another man?? I don't want to sound rude, but... is this flake really worth your anguish? Am I missing something here? Well thats what I said ya know? Like we just broke up and ur moving? That's what I said to her and she seems serious. But like I said she sometimes makes these spontaneous decisions and doesn't follow through. But she says she's only with this guy to 'move on' because it hurts to always think about me and her.
Dejin Posted March 20, 2004 Posted March 20, 2004 First of all, I think the trust issue should be reversed. She knows perfectly well that she can trust you, the problem is that she can't be trusted, and she knows this. Look at what she's doing, planning on moving away with Another Guy. Most likely she is spending time w/ him too, intimate time. Only 2 Weeks after the break-up.... this sounds extremely suspicious to me. It's highly likely she met this other guy when you both were still together. Fine trustworthy girl you got there... not! Even if she is 'spontaneous', why say those hurtful things? "I want to move away with this other guy because I want to get away from you"... Uh yeah, and she says she cares for you? Seriously, she's not worth your time man. Tell her to make her decision, and/or to stop dragging you along for the bumpy ride.
Vivid_29 Posted March 20, 2004 Posted March 20, 2004 Originally posted by LuvHurtsme **UPDATE** If she moves to Arizona I will be crushed. I still have a few months to sway her decision and prove to her that she needs to be with me. But I need some advice....anyone? I've read your initial post and I feel that you didn't do anything wrong, so why put yourself at her mercy? You don't have to prove s**t to her. Here's what you do -- If she wants to move to AZ, help her pack her bags and even offer to pay for half of her plane ticket. Stop telling her that you'll be crushed. Be strong! You even said that she makes these irrational, spontaneous decisions. Stop acting all wussy and wimpy and call her bluff! If she wants to go, give her a hug, tell her 'saiyonara' and to have a nice life! If she does leave, but does decide to come back, don't ever let her back in your life! If you do let her back in, just f**k the hell out of her and then send her on her way! ~V
Author LuvHurtsme Posted March 20, 2004 Author Posted March 20, 2004 Originally posted by Dejin First of all, I think the trust issue should be reversed. She knows perfectly well that she can trust you, the problem is that she can't be trusted, and she knows this. Look at what she's doing, planning on moving away with Another Guy. Most likely she is spending time w/ him too, intimate time. Only 2 Weeks after the break-up.... this sounds extremely suspicious to me. It's highly likely she met this other guy when you both were still together. Fine trustworthy girl you got there... not! Well I used to work with this guy and he used to tell me all the time that he wanted to go out with my girl. I almost fought him at work over it but they just used to be friends. I know for a fact that she is spending intimate time with him and that they've kissed er whatever. That's not a big deal because I know more or less he's a rebound but it hurts just the same ya know? In anycase I have been giving her the cold shoulder and am acting perfectly fine about her moving. It is making me start to wonder, if she loved me so much why would she want to leave after being apart for only a week. Hmmm...I'll keep ya updated. Thanks for the help guys.
Vivid_29 Posted March 20, 2004 Posted March 20, 2004 Well I used to work with this guy and he used to tell me all the time that he wanted to go out with my girl. I almost fought him at work over it but they just used to be friends. Big mistake! When a man cat calls my lady or says that he wants to get with her, I tell him - "Thank you" and take it all as a compliment! I know for a fact that she is spending intimate time with him and that they've kissed er whatever. Another man is kissing or perhaps sticking his d!ck into your woman and you want her back! **sigh** That's pretty pathetic, dude. In anycase I have been giving her the cold shoulder and am acting perfectly fine about her moving. Do what you have to do, even if you have to act like your OK with it all. Nothing wrong with that. It is making me start to wonder, if she loved me so much why would she want to leave after being apart for only a week. Umm -- hello -- Probably because, she's moved on or probably had this guy on the side, while the two of you were still together. ~V
Author LuvHurtsme Posted March 22, 2004 Author Posted March 22, 2004 Last night I saw her again for the first time in about a week. I came over after a party at like 11 and ended up staying till about 1:30. We talked and once again expressed our love for each other. We kissed for a while and held hands. It was really nice, yet we still arent together. She explained to me that this kid she is dating is more or less her rebound, which she is forcing herself to like to get over me. She said that her and I aren't ready to be together, and that her going away to Arizona for school doesn't mean we are over forever. She also said she has to grow up a bit and so do I so she can let me back in her life as her boyfriend. When I was with her last night, it was like one of those moments you wish could last forever. We were kissing and holding hands and she looks up and tells me she loves me with all her heart... She told me her tentative date for leaving for Arizona is June 6th...should I let this go...or should I fight it? I'm so confused.
Author LuvHurtsme Posted March 23, 2004 Author Posted March 23, 2004 I could REALLY use a female's opinion on this.
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