irc333 Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 Okay, what do you consider a long dist. relationship? Being that I live in a rural area, I think my issue when it comes to dating, that I live in the suburbs an hour away from a major city. I have no quams about driving to the big city an hour away. 1. I get good gas milage 2. Most of my friends and most of my social life is IN the big city 3. All my dating occurs in the big city 4. Most people around my age in my area is married or spoken for. I had a woman tell me I sent a great email, but she knows of the area that I live in, and she said she had a friend house sit up by where I live, and she considered it too far away visit her friend. I've gotten so used to being a "dating commuter", but apparently, some might consider a mere hour long distance? What do you consider too far?
Idalis Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 If the relationship is just starting out I could see how an hour might seem like a lot. Even though, its really not. My bf lives about a 4 hour drive away and I consider that LD, but we didnt start out that way. When we met we lived in the same city and did so for a year. We both feel that if we had lived as far apart as we do now our relationship might not have worked. There is just too much momentum at the beginning of a really good relationship, so its hard to pace that out in to weekly or bi-weekly visits, and it kills any spontaneity. That might scare some potential dates away from you. But I think if someone got truly interested by you they wouldnt see it as a deterrent, the woman who emailed you sounds like she put much too much weight on the distance factor.
Els Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 In the early stages, I really don't think 1 hour is too far at all. However, in the long term if you're the kind of person who likes to see your SO often, I can see why a one-hour commute each time would get rather bothersome. I'd definitely start off with one hour, assuming that sometime within the next few years there would be the possibility of one of us moving closer, or us living with each other.
zengirl Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 I live in a big city, and I would date someone on the other side of town (which can be perhaps up to an hour, but only at bad traffic times) but I wouldn't date someone outside the city, personally. Mainly, I wouldn't date someone who lived far away from my work and/or the social scene, because I would consider the difficulty of spending nights at their place. There are certainly plenty of people to date in the city; why go outside of it? I understand why someone from the 'burbs might not feel the same, though----less single people out there. However, to me, being able to see someone regularly, and even spontaneously, is a great consideration in building a relationship. If my current boyfriend had to move away, we might do something temporarily, till we could get to the same place again, but that's different than starting out, of course.
Author irc333 Posted December 2, 2010 Author Posted December 2, 2010 Hm, interesting, yeah, I noticed that it takes an hour to get across town, but in my case, it takes an hour to get to MY town. LOL But, there's a lot of workers/commuters where I live that prefer the less conjested area, so they're big on taking the toll road to the big city or something....they just like LIVING in the small town....because they can't stand the big city, of course most of them are married. Where I live 1. Rednecks 2. People over 25 already taken/married w/children....or live-in boyfriend 3. The elderly (World War II era generation) Though OCCASIONALLY I'd spot woman around my age, single, never married, no kids in my area....but they're so stuck in their criteria it's pretty bad....and they too, aren't willing to date a local guy like me, and are willing to seek out probably within a THREE hours drive of where they live...as oppose to date an average Joe within 15 min or less drive. Weird, eh? There are single women of my status, spread about that ARE single, I guess. Even when I do a geographic search on a dating site in my area....I'd see one pop up.....typically she'll mention she's "New to the area and wanted to be closer to her family" after she's moved from the big city up north. But still wound up on their big city standards. I'd seen one complain she can't find anyone in her area, but when I email her....no reply of course. lol I live in a big city, and I would date someone on the other side of town (which can be perhaps up to an hour, but only at bad traffic times) but I wouldn't date someone outside the city, personally. Mainly, I wouldn't date someone who lived far away from my work and/or the social scene, because I would consider the difficulty of spending nights at their place. There are certainly plenty of people to date in the city; why go outside of it? I understand why someone from the 'burbs might not feel the same, though----less single people out there. However, to me, being able to see someone regularly, and even spontaneously, is a great consideration in building a relationship. If my current boyfriend had to move away, we might do something temporarily, till we could get to the same place again, but that's different than starting out, of course.
Stung Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 An hour is an inconvenience, but not a major one. I dated people who lived an hour away from me several times, that were in different cities but still in my metropolitan area. It wasn't as convenient as when I dated people who lived nearby, but it was never a serious problem. More weekend sleepovers ::shrug::. And honestly I preferred it in some ways--I learned the hard way that dating a guy who was right in my own neighborhood could get awkward if things went sour. My now-husband lived in the same metro area that I grew up in, when we met, but at the time I was living almost 900 miles away, another city in another state. THAT was an LDR, and at first I admit I didn't believe we could have much potential because of it. But we liked each other so much we communicated almost daily for several months and when we finally met in person things snowballed. We stopped thinking with our heads so much and just did what we had to do to be together. We spent the next several months flying back and forth every other weekend, taking vacation time to spend whole weeks together, before finally I resigned my position and moved to be with him. It was definitely worth it.
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