bsilmb Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 ok so another predicament of mine. there's this girl on newspaper, who is really nice, really friendly, but she has a boyfriend. I'm relatively quiet, but am talkative with people who talk to me in the class. she always would say hey or something to me during the day. well a few days ago, she said she need help with something and would call me soon. she didn't call that night but apologized and said she will soon. so she couldve asked plenty of other people, but she came to me, so hmmm? also while I was listening to some 90's music, she said that I have a great choice in my music. kinda random, but seemed like a hint. and whenever she says something funny, I'll laugh under my breath in my computer and she will look over and comment and smile. it may just be friendliness, but that's why it feels like a Jim and Pam situation, as in the office. I am nice and friendly, bit really all that flirty, occasionally though. she's nice and makes an effort to talk and stuff. what do I do people of loveshack?
Author bsilmb Posted December 2, 2010 Author Posted December 2, 2010 ok so another predicament of mine. there's this girl on newspaper, who is really nice, really friendly, but she has a boyfriend. I'm relatively quiet, but am talkative with people who talk to me in the class. she always would say hey or something to me during the day. well a few days ago, she said she need help with something and would call me soon. she didn't call that night but apologized and said she will soon. so she couldve asked plenty of other people, but she came to me, so hmmm? also while I was listening to some 90's music, she said that I have a great choice in my music. kinda random, but seemed like a hint. and whenever she says something funny, I'll laugh under my breath in my computer and she will look over and comment and smile. it may just be friendliness, but that's why it feels like a Jim and Pam situation, as in the office. I am nice and friendly, bit really all that flirty, occasionally though. she's nice and makes an effort to talk and stuff. what do I do people of loveshack? hey, could anyone give me some advice on this?? I just want some input from others. please....
SmileFace Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 ok so another predicament of mine. there's this girl on newspaper, who is really nice, really friendly, but she has a boyfriend. I'm relatively quiet, but am talkative with people who talk to me in the class. she always would say hey or something to me during the day. well a few days ago, she said she need help with something and would call me soon. she didn't call that night but apologized and said she will soon. so she couldve asked plenty of other people, but she came to me, so hmmm? also while I was listening to some 90's music, she said that I have a great choice in my music. kinda random, but seemed like a hint. and whenever she says something funny, I'll laugh under my breath in my computer and she will look over and comment and smile. it may just be friendliness, but that's why it feels like a Jim and Pam situation, as in the office. I am nice and friendly, bit really all that flirty, occasionally though. she's nice and makes an effort to talk and stuff. what do I do people of loveshack? Refer to bolded text Seriously , leave it alone.
NoLongerSad Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 Refer to bolded text Seriously , leave it alone. I disagree. You should try to see if you can "steal" her. Complete your mission and report back to base for a debriefing.
Raderick Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 I disagree. You should try to see if you can "steal" her. Complete your mission and report back to base for a debriefing. Couldn't disagree with this more. She has a boyfriend, leave her alone. If she goes single, go ahead and go after her, but otherwise consider her off limits, unless you're happy to be in the friendzone.
NoLongerSad Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 Couldn't disagree with this more. She has a boyfriend, leave her alone. If she goes single, go ahead and go after her, but otherwise consider her off limits, unless you're happy to be in the friendzone. Now just wait a sec hear bucko. I didn't tell OP to moon over this chick or long for her or fall in love with her. I told him to try to see if he could steal her. Just as an exercise in developing skills at getting a woman. Yes it's hard if she says she has a bf, so what? Try anyway and see what happens, but try with complete emotional detachment at the outcome. It could be a very good experience for the OP. If he can completely emotionally detach, and figure out a way to steal this girl, then he'll realize that there is NO girl he should pedestal, that they're all capable of cheating with the right guy bringing the right game. That's what OP needs to learn.
SmileFace Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 Now just wait a sec hear bucko. I didn't tell OP to moon over this chick or long for her or fall in love with her. I told him to try to see if he could steal her. Just as an exercise in developing skills at getting a woman. Yes it's hard if she says she has a bf, so what? Try anyway and see what happens, but try with complete emotional detachment at the outcome. It could be a very good experience for the OP. If he can completely emotionally detach, and figure out a way to steal this girl, then he'll realize that there is NO girl he should pedestal, that they're all capable of cheating with the right guy bringing the right game. That's what OP needs to learn. True but why would he do this. He will only ended being a bitter foul like some others. Op , don't waste your time . Since even if you do end succedding with this girl. Do you want to wait until the time that you are in the same position as her current boyfriend? Successly for all we (you) know she is just being freindly.
Flirt Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 Now just wait a sec hear bucko. I didn't tell OP to moon over this chick or long for her or fall in love with her. I told him to try to see if he could steal her. Just as an exercise in developing skills at getting a woman. Yes it's hard if she says she has a bf, so what? Try anyway and see what happens, but try with complete emotional detachment at the outcome. It could be a very good experience for the OP. If he can completely emotionally detach, and figure out a way to steal this girl, then he'll realize that there is NO girl he should pedestal, that they're all capable of cheating with the right guy bringing the right game. That's what OP needs to learn. And I suppose the feelings of everyone involved don't matter as long as he learns this "life lesson"?
mortensorchid Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 Steeling someone else's gf/bf is NOT COOL. This girl is just a friend to you, she is just being friendly towards you. I'm sure she's nice, but she's someone else's. Don't attempt, you'll get shot down.
NoLongerSad Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 And I suppose the feelings of everyone involved don't matter as long as he learns this "life lesson"? The feelings of everyone matter. But, OP is entitled to try to get into a relationship with this girl, if he likes. Her having a boyfriend, or saying that she does, simply makes it more of a challenge.
NoLongerSad Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 Steeling someone else's gf/bf is NOT COOL. This girl is just a friend to you, she is just being friendly towards you. I'm sure she's nice, but she's someone else's. Don't attempt, you'll get shot down. "Steal" is just a figure of speech. The girl does not belong to her bf. If she wants to, she could respond to OP's overtures. If she shoots him down, that's fine too. OP needs to get this out of his system. Otherwise he'll moon over this girl indefinitely, fantasizing about "what if." He should just ask her out. If she says "I have a boyfriend" he should say "So what? I won't tell if you won't tell." If she responds "What kind of a girl do you think I am?" he can say "That's what I'm trying to find out." If the whole thing blows up in his face he can just pretend he was joking. No matter what happens, being direct about his intentions will make him far more interesting to this girl, and to others as well.
Author bsilmb Posted December 3, 2010 Author Posted December 3, 2010 "Steal" is just a figure of speech. The girl does not belong to her bf. If she wants to, she could respond to OP's overtures. If she shoots him down, that's fine too. OP needs to get this out of his system. Otherwise he'll moon over this girl indefinitely, fantasizing about "what if." He should just ask her out. If she says "I have a boyfriend" he should say "So what? I won't tell if you won't tell." If she responds "What kind of a girl do you think I am?" he can say "That's what I'm trying to find out." If the whole thing blows up in his face he can just pretend he was joking. No matter what happens, being direct about his intentions will make him far more interesting to this girl, and to others as well. I like this advice, thank you!
Author bsilmb Posted December 3, 2010 Author Posted December 3, 2010 okay, it seems kinda wrong. I mean I wouldn't appreciate it if she were my girlfriend. but if she keeps up the friendly/flirtiness, I'm gonna go for it. Jim did haha, it eventually worked out. right?
fishtaco Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 I like this advice, thank you! Be careful, while I can't disagree with NoLongerSad's approach, it is quite hardcore. If you plan on becoming a professional at dating, this is the way to go, but do you want to become a pro? Are you ready for the time and cost investment required to reach it? For me, maybe because I'm older and the fire has gone out in me, I just want to have a decent girlfriend and play guitar. Training and exercises are absolutely necessary, dating is a skill -- the more you do it, the better you'll get at it, and I still try to do it, but I'd stay clear of situations like this. It's too much for me. I want to not suck at dating, but I want to be as good at guitar as I possibly can. Hence you can see how I would prioritize my training. So not bad advice, more experience is always a plus, but know what you're getting yourself into, and the drama this may stir up. Again, worthwhile for someone that is looking to be a pro, maybe not so worthwhile for someone like me for example. So know where you stand.
Raderick Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 okay, it seems kinda wrong. I mean I wouldn't appreciate it if she were my girlfriend. but if she keeps up the friendly/flirtiness, I'm gonna go for it. Jim did haha, it eventually worked out. right? Actually, being the Office fanatic that I am, I'll explain to you. Pam first had feelings for Jim despite her having a fiance, Roy. Jim later gained same feelings for Pam. Jim kissed Pam right before him leaving Scranton for Stamford. Jim during all of this time dates several women while in both Scranton and Stamford, eventually settling for fellow salesperson Karen. Pam dumps Roy, only for them to get back together some time later. Jim moves back to Scranton, Karen tags along. Jim later admits to still having feelings for Pam. Eventually Karen and Jim breaks up, Karen leaves Scranton for Utica. Roy finds out that Pam and Jim made out before Jim left for Stamford, lets out a temper tantrum, which ends with the two breaking up. This opened the door for Pam and Jim to finally date.
Author bsilmb Posted December 3, 2010 Author Posted December 3, 2010 Actually, being the Office fanatic that I am, I'll explain to you. Pam first had feelings for Jim despite her having a fiance, Roy. Jim later gained same feelings for Pam. Jim kissed Pam right before him leaving Scranton for Stamford. Jim during all of this time dates several women while in both Scranton and Stamford, eventually settling for fellow salesperson Karen. Pam dumps Roy, only for them to get back together some time later. Jim moves back to Scranton, Karen tags along. Jim later admits to still having feelings for Pam. Eventually Karen and Jim breaks up, Karen leaves Scranton for Utica. Roy finds out that Pam and Jim made out before Jim left for Stamford, lets out a temper tantrum, which ends with the two breaking up. This opened the door for Pam and Jim to finally date. well I feel like she may have feelings for me. I didn't think much of having feelings for her until the past week or two. I have not kissed her, but I will still be open to dating others, though none immediately on my mind. I have no idea what her and her boyfriends relationship is like. they may have recently started dating for the past couple months. I don't know if it's serious or not, it may not be. I don't know how things are going with them either. but it still seems similar to Jim's situation. I'm just not transferring anywhere!
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