miserable_in_castaic Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 I am having a very difficult time coping with having cheated on my boyfriend of two years. I am not the type of person that goes around sleeping with different people or even goes partying. I'm an anti-social, sci-fi nerd. My current boyfriend was my first EVERYTHING. I love him dearly so I don't know what happened. He invited a friend over last night and we all drank. This is something we've done before, I'll cook dinner, we'll watch a movie, drink and then, he goes home. But last night... I remember things clearly, but only up to a certain point after that there are huge gaps in my memory however I do recall four major incidence. He did things while my boyfriend wasn't looking or was out of the room and in the morning after I came back from the bathroom we did things... I just don't know how it happened when I don't even remember coming back in through the door. I thought it was my boyfriend but when we moved into the light, I realized it wasn't him and got off. I made my way back to the bed were my boyfriend was asleep. And the guy didn't try to stop me. As soon as he left a few minutes later i woke up my boyfriend and told. I needed to tell him before I forgot or before i woke up again and thought it was a some twisted dream. The guy said he forgot something and came into the bedroom again. We pretended we were sleeping so he would go away but he came all the way to the bed. I was twisting and pinching my boyfriends hand as the guy moved back the blanket a bit and touched me. I feel disgusting, and dirty. They tell me it was assault because I was too drunk to consent but i feel I have no moral ground to stand on. I feel I must have done something to bring this upon myself since this had never happened before. It all feels surreal. My boyfriend tried to ask him if he did anything to me but the guys denies doing anything. I feel like I'm going crazy. I know something happened. My pj bottoms were not on me or even by the bed. I don't know what to do. I feel like I can't live with what I've done. I'm scared to go to a counselor because if I say this they might think I'm a danger to myself. I don't know what to do. My boyfriend can and has forgiven me but I can NEVER forgive myself for this. Someone out there please help me. I really need advice. It's only been one day but the self-loathing is all already more than I can bear. Please...what should I do? - Full of regret
MichiganMan222 Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 Sounds trollish to me, but just in case.... So you messed around with some mutual friend while your bf was sleeping in the next bedroom....you to confess what happened to your sleeping bf after waking him....then the dude comes into your bedroom to collect some personal items (Question #1: doesn't it disturb you that your bf didn't brain the d-bag right then and there?) the dude molests you while you both lay awake (Question #2: See Question #1)....the next day, your bf forgives you just like that. So many possible scenarios here.
Bryanp Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 It hard to believe that your boyfriend would pretend he is asleep while you get touched by that guy. It hard to believe this. If this is true you can always try hypnosis.
Author miserable_in_castaic Posted December 2, 2010 Author Posted December 2, 2010 I was telling him when we heard the guy coming in, I didn't want to confront him then or even now. All I want to do is forget this ever happened. My boyfriend threw his leg over me and kept pulling me closer to him but the guy didn't touch close enough to his leg, so he didn't feel him touching me. Will hypnosis make you forget???
Author miserable_in_castaic Posted December 2, 2010 Author Posted December 2, 2010 Sounds trollish to me, but just in case.... So you messed around with some mutual friend while your bf was sleeping in the next bedroom....you to confess what happened to your sleeping bf after waking him....then the dude comes into your bedroom to collect some personal items (Question #1: doesn't it disturb you that your bf didn't brain the d-bag right then and there?) the dude molests you while you both lay awake (Question #2: See Question #1)....the next day, your bf forgives you just like that. So many possible scenarios here. I don't quite understand what you mean by Trollish? We had all been drinking till pretty late but my BF didn't fall asleep until maybe 5 minutes after I woke to use the restroom. His friend was still up but I didn't think much of it. As for the fighting? I've been afraid to ask. The guy is my BF best friend, I don't even know if he was fully awake this morning when I was telling what happened. I feel broken inside and I feel at the end of my rope. I've been crying since the guy left our house and I find nothing will bring me peace. I just feel like disappearing off the face of the earth.
Bryanp Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 hypnosis will not make you forget but it will help you remember exactly what happened. Are you saying you actually had sex with this other guy? If you yes then you need to get tested for STD's and make sure you did not get pregnant. I am sorry but any boyfriend would have immediately confronted his friend. It sounds like he is afraid of his friend. His reaction does not seem normal.
Dexter Morgan Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 Sounds trollish to me, but just in case.... I agree, the story is bulls##t. she says "and in the morning after I came back from the bathroom we did things" so it was a drunk blunder after the alcohol had already worn off the morning after eh? that and about the bf pretending to be asleep instead of confronting the guy who is suppose to be his friend. poorly written story
Dexter Morgan Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 I don't quite understand what you mean by Trollish? . meaning you are telling a story just to stir up crap. and if by some chance this isn't a troll post, I believe you doctored up the details to make it look as if you didn't really do anything wrong.
Untouchable_Fire Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 I don't quite understand what you mean by Trollish? We had all been drinking till pretty late but my BF didn't fall asleep until maybe 5 minutes after I woke to use the restroom. His friend was still up but I didn't think much of it. As for the fighting? I've been afraid to ask. The guy is my BF best friend, I don't even know if he was fully awake this morning when I was telling what happened. I feel broken inside and I feel at the end of my rope. I've been crying since the guy left our house and I find nothing will bring me peace. I just feel like disappearing off the face of the earth. Holy crap! If the story you are telling is true... that is assault! Your not guilty of anything. It doesn't matter how freaking drunk or not drunk you were. That is bloody assault and that guy needs some jailtime!
phillyfan Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 I am having a very difficult time coping with having cheated on my boyfriend of two years. I am not the type of person that goes around sleeping with different people or even goes partying. I'm an anti-social, sci-fi nerd. My current boyfriend was my first EVERYTHING. I love him dearly so I don't know what happened. He invited a friend over last night and we all drank. This is something we've done before, I'll cook dinner, we'll watch a movie, drink and then, he goes home. But last night... I remember things clearly, but only up to a certain point after that there are huge gaps in my memory however I do recall four major incidence. He did things while my boyfriend wasn't looking or was out of the room and in the morning after I came back from the bathroom we did things... I just don't know how it happened when I don't even remember coming back in through the door. I thought it was my boyfriend but when we moved into the light, I realized it wasn't him and got off. I made my way back to the bed were my boyfriend was asleep. And the guy didn't try to stop me. As soon as he left a few minutes later i woke up my boyfriend and told. I needed to tell him before I forgot or before i woke up again and thought it was a some twisted dream. The guy said he forgot something and came into the bedroom again. We pretended we were sleeping so he would go away but he came all the way to the bed. I was twisting and pinching my boyfriends hand as the guy moved back the blanket a bit and touched me. I feel disgusting, and dirty. They tell me it was assault because I was too drunk to consent but i feel I have no moral ground to stand on. I feel I must have done something to bring this upon myself since this had never happened before. It all feels surreal. My boyfriend tried to ask him if he did anything to me but the guys denies doing anything. I feel like I'm going crazy. I know something happened. My pj bottoms were not on me or even by the bed. I don't know what to do. I feel like I can't live with what I've done. I'm scared to go to a counselor because if I say this they might think I'm a danger to myself. I don't know what to do. My boyfriend can and has forgiven me but I can NEVER forgive myself for this. Someone out there please help me. I really need advice. It's only been one day but the self-loathing is all already more than I can bear. Please...what should I do? - Full of regret PLEASE take this from a dude. That guy assaulted u, he is a nasty POS, u and your boyfriend, u tell him to keep the hell away from you. DO NOT feel guilt over this - it will destroy you and you hear me on this - YOU DID NOTHIN WRONG. He took advantage, you have nothin to feel guilty for - you remember that. Sounds like a trauma what u went thru, I think u shud find someone to help u deal with that, jeez what a scumbag he is - real POS.
KraftDinner Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 Also, when you mention there are huge gaps in your memory... do you normally get blackout patches like that when you drink heavily? I'm just wondering if maybe something was slipped into your drink...? Please don't feel bad for what happened. This is NOT your fault.
alexlakeman Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 Make a police report, go to the hospital if not too late, dna?? Do make a police report.
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