Long message and I have no idea what to say...

[Eclipse11]

I feel totally stuck at the moment - I have just broken up with my boyfriend about ten days ago, for his sake, I just didn't think things would work out between us and it seemed kinder to let him go, we were together for one and a half years

 

We were not in contact, now he has written a pretty long message on facebook saying he is still in love with me, he is desperately unhappy without me

 

I'm feeling so bad because I haven't replied to it yet, he sent it yesterday early evening - I just don't know what to write, I haven't changed my mind and I feel like if I send a reply saying so and saying I still feel the same, it'll be like a psychological kick in the nuts for him

 

So I haven't written anything! I don't know what to do, I feel completely stuck

 

Please somebody, I would be so glad for some advice, something that might help somehow - many thanks

 

I've been thinking about it ever since it came and still have no answer and I'm feeling bad for him

Edited December 1, 2010 by Eclipse11

[AvianChaos]

I have been in his situation before. My ex broke up with me after a year and a half and i was dumbfounded. I still loved her so much.

 

If i wrote a message to her, I would have wanted her to say that she was so sorry and she was hurting too and that we should try again. Thats what he wants you to say, but you cant say that. I think from his perspective, anything you say to the contrary will sound cruel. You are in a tough situation and i really empathize with you.

 

No matter what you say, he is going to have to go through a lot of pain before he can see the situation through your eyes. The best policy on this, i think is no contact. Like i said, it seems cruel but it will actually help him.

[Nkognito]

I was dumped by a girl via text. She used the cliche things such as "it's you not me" and would often tell me "I deserve better". I say (and I think everyone here will agree) that you tell him the utter truth.

 

You need to come clean and tell him exactly how you feel and why its not working and that you decided to end it. Do NOT beat around the bush, go silent, avoid his direct questions because nothing you do is going to lighten the burden that is going to take a toll on his heart.

 

Do not do this through facebook, he needs to hear the words either by phone or face to face. The one thing a dumpee hates is the millions (yes millions) of questions racing through their mind when they get dumped by a vague ex. Don't leave him guessing, let him know because like I said the pain is the same and being vague will just prolong his recovery.

 

When the heart is pierced, the hurt is the same no matter what angle you hold the knife. ~ Nkognito

[skydiveaddict]

Just leave him alone. He's miserable enough

[nanana]

Is this the same guy you've dumped 2 other times this year? So you've dumped him 3 times now?

 

Leave him alone.