amy12344 Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 I'll try and make this brief... Ok, so over a week ago by partner of 7 years said we are "done". It's "over". But since then, and increasingly even more so over the last few days, he is behaving "normal". Doesn't appear to be hurting over the loss of our future... doesn't appear sad ... even called me "Sweetie" three times in the last two days... asks if I need anything when he comes home from work... overall being thoughtful, etc. In fact, immediately after the break-up he slept on the couch... HOWEVER he has slept in the bed the last two nights. Didn't touch me, but if roles were reversed that would be anguish for me to sleep beside the person I loved for the last 7 years and know that we are over. SO, I need opinions!! Does he, A) Have no emotion toward me, and this is all easy for him to accept? B) Does he have too much pride to admit he wants to work on things with me, and wants ME to somehow come around and ask him to change his mind? C) He is purposely sending me mixed signals to influence me into continuing to love him and not want to leave (I already agreed when we broke up that I would immediately start looking for a place). D) Perhaps he thinks I was bluffing and that I am not looking for a place... and so he feels safe from pending heartbreak... and is hoping I will "realizing the wrongs I've done" (???) and ask to stay together??? E) ANy other suggestions??
worlybear Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 You need to talk to him. Don't try to second-guess, have a conversation!
What_Next Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 I am sorry to have to say this, but he is having an affair. Yes I AM talking from experience. Others will chime in as well, but trust me when I say it is time to dig. Keylogger, voice activated recorder, cell phone bills, unexplained time, Internet based (facebook, dating site etc). Dig and you will find.
Author amy12344 Posted December 1, 2010 Author Posted December 1, 2010 He is not having an affair - he has no time for one. He works 70+ hours per week.
What_Next Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 70+ hrs per week is certainly not good, nor healthy. Are you sure it isn't someone AT work? Or an online thing? His actions sounds classically like someone that is having an affair.
HopelessinDTW Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 Please listen to What_Next...we've seen these signs over and over again. There is someone else in the picture. Just because he's at work 70 hours doesn't mean he's actually working all those 70 hours. You need to start investigating as suggested. Ask him directly, see how he reacts. You'll know immediately if he's being truthful or not...
Author amy12344 Posted December 2, 2010 Author Posted December 2, 2010 70+ hrs per week is certainly not good, nor healthy. Are you sure it isn't someone AT work? Or an online thing? His actions sounds classically like someone that is having an affair. We've talked at great lengths about him working too much. His boss is very demanding and manipulative. He never has time to go online. I know all the women at work - and there aren't many - so I am confident about there not being someone else. Also, even if there WAS a woman there, it's a very busy workplace, with zero privacy.
Author amy12344 Posted December 2, 2010 Author Posted December 2, 2010 Just because he's at work 70 hours doesn't mean he's actually working all those 70 hours. Yeah, he's there. I call him at random times. He's there. He calls me from the office phone late at night. He's there. Trust me, I've been cheated on in my past relationship, so I am pretty vigilant.
hopesndreams Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 Ok, so over a week ago by partner of 7 years said we are "done". It's "over". Maybe it was just a threat? Maybe he has forgotten or hopes that you have forgotten he said it? Need more information on what the M has been like, say the last year or so.
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