betamanlet Posted December 4, 2010 Posted December 4, 2010 Why would men who want to cheat take off their wedding rings? It actually attracts women because there's no shortage of women who want what other women have. Here is a spicy Topic : Percentage of marriages where one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional: 41% Percentage of men who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they've had: 57% Percentage of women who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they've had: 54% Average length of an affair: 2 years Percentage of men who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught: 74% Percentage of women who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught: 68% It is estimated that roughly 30 to 60% of all married individuals (in the United States) will engage in infidelity at some point during their marriage (see, Buss and Shackelford for review of this research). Infidelity is becoming more common among people under 30. Many experts believe this increase in cheating is due to greater opportunity (time spent away from a spouse) and young people developing the habit of having multiple sexual partners before they get married (see, young and restless - Wall Street Journal). Men are more likely to cheat than women. But, as women become more financially independent, women are starting to act more like men with respect to infidelity As more and more women enter the work force, "office romances" are becoming more common. Spouses often spend more time with coworkers than with each other. The internet, e-mail, and chat rooms are making it easier for people to engage in infidelity Emotional infidelity, compared to just physical infidelity, can inflict as much, if not more, hurt, pain and suffering. Unfortunately, many people find a more suitable mate (someone they love more than their spouse) after they are already married. Have you ever cheated on someone? ▪ Yes 41% ▪ No 59% Have you ever been cheated on? ▪ Yes 68% ▪ No 32% Number of guys who take off their wedding rings when they go out without their wives ▪ 1 in 3 Percentage of cheating men who get caught ▪ 80% Percentage of couple who preserve their marriage after an affair ▪ 64% (35% divorce because of the A) Of those couples who remain married despite an affair, what percentage later describe the marriage as unhappy or empty? ▪ 78% ___________________________________________________________ Sources : http://www.infidelityfacts.com/infidelity-statistics.html http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/cheating-and-infidelity/stats-about-infidelity.html http://www.divorcepeers.com/stats31.htm#fn%201
Breezy Trousers Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 Yes affairs are parallel worlds to reality. For a single AP the A is his/her reality. For the MW/MM it is fantasy to fill a void. My xMW told me how "she was dreaming of us growing old together" and I later realized how that was merely a sweet fantasy rather than an intention to make it real. I agree! It's unfortunate, but often true. Yes, I understand that it's very hard for the majority to believe that my husband and I are happily married when they learn of our experiences. People want to believe what they want to believe, and it's a free world. God bless them! Honestly? The hardest part of dealing with my husband's infidelities was dealing with the hatred and judgment oozing from other people's fearful reactions. Many girlfriends wanted me to "punish" him. With the help of a therapist, I saw they didn't really care about me -- their desire for me to punish was really to help them manage their own fears. They wanted me to set an example for their own spouses! Ultimately, all judgment is selfish. It's about protecting our stories on what "should be" in life. So I can honor what people say, but I try not to get tangled in others' fear. Anytime someone is in my business it's solely because they are avoiding their own. I can see that now. I also heard how I "must have known" he was having an affair. I was made to feel stupid for not knowing. Of course, only those who never dealt with an affair suggested this to me. Again, it had everything to do with their fear and ensuing need to control, not with me. If I didn't know, what does that mean for them? They wouldn't have control! ("This will NEVER happen to me! I'm too smart!" ... Well, I remember when I believed that, too, once upon a time ...) It was also interesting to have a couple sisters wag their fingers at me about what "marriage should be." I had been married for ages. They? Not at all! Quite amusing to hear them lecture me on the nature of marriage. Somehow they were experts! In time, things settled down, so all is well. With affairs, as with any life crisis, you learn that control is an illusion. People are not extensions of ourselves, our puppets. They are individuals. It is not possible to control another person. Relationships are inherently vulnerable whether we like it or not. The experiences taught me to stand on my own two feet and quit relying on outsiders for my security. I was forced to rely upon my connection to God and am now so much happier for it. I would have never been pushed into this direction had it not been for the affairs. I guess the pain of this either makes you grow or it causes you to become bitter and resentful and more fearful. I decided to grow. My husband now counsels men with sex addiction. He has done tremendous inner work, too.
Breezy Trousers Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 Why would men who want to cheat take off their wedding rings? It actually attracts women because there's no shortage of women who want what other women have. Why is that? That's what I don't understand.
MorningCoffee Posted December 5, 2010 Posted December 5, 2010 Why is that? That's what I don't understand. I believe the aphorism is "Don't believe anything you read, and only half of what you see."
Recommended Posts