WTRanger Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 For those of us currently going through NC, let's shoot for 90 days straight! I'm at 43 days NC right now. It's getting easier but I still do think about what happened and how colossally retarded it is. But NC is truly the way to go. Where are you at? If you broke your streak, why did you do it? What was your outcome? 1
alwayshoping Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 i will be on 90 days NC this sunday! But I still miss her like crazy and would love a snuggle! Oh well, the only thing that keeps me going is not wanting to start at day1 again as the past 85 days have been hell! Also tbh if you reach 90 days NC and there is no attempt from the ex to contact you, i think it means they are not only over you but really didnt care. My ex hasnt sent me a single text email call or anything! Crazy! 1
AlisaMarie Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Hi WT! I am on day 6. It's been broken with with he and I before. The longest I have ever gotten with him was 14 days. He was always the one to break- but it was me the last time. So here we go, 84 more days until I am in the club!
alwayshoping Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 oh no! she just added me on msn! at least she has thought about me i guess! haha 90 days is not looking likely now unless she just leaves me alone!
Leandro Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 I'm on 92 days of NC right now. I do believe that if you go 3 months of NC and hear nothing from your ex, that they have moved on and didn't care at all.
AlisaMarie Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 day 1 tomorrow....... again awww, what happened swfc?
Author WTRanger Posted December 1, 2010 Author Posted December 1, 2010 I really think the 90 day mark is a turning point. If you can prove to yourself that you can do it, you know you can get over them. Just keep at it in 3's. 3 minutes, 3 hours, 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months. We're all human, though. We all break NC for various reasons. The longest I've ever gone with the current floozey was 62 days last year when she pulled something similar. I broke down to wish her a Merry Christmas and we re-connected. Yet, a year later, here I am again.
Leandro Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Just keep at it in 3's. 3 minutes, 3 hours, 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months. ....3 years.
Nkognito Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 (edited) Where are you at? If you broke your streak, why did you do it? What was your outcome? I broke it Monday (29th) and before on the 14/15th of October. She dumped me via text on Friday Sept. 17th (just before the 3 month mark). I ended up texting her trying to workout a way to get her stuff out of my place and back to her. On the 21st of September I text her one last time that I had dropped her stuff politely in a box at her door. She replied with "take care of yourself", usually she is more punctual. I then went weeks without contact until October 14th when I got a speeding ticket. She has a legal background and offered once to help get my friend out of a speeding ticket so I thought she would do the same. I called at 1am nonetheless and left a voicemail. Nothing too relationship specific. Just noted our differences and asked for help. The next day I realized how arrogant I was for that and I text her telling her I was truly sorry and to disregard the message and I should not have contacted her. She replied with "its fine". I have gone no contact since until this Monday when I called her at 10am and left a voicemail. I basically told her I had her in my mind when I was working out in the morning and wanted to see how she was doing, how her mom was doing and how the adoption process went. I ended the voicemail with talk to you later. I am back to no contact. When we split up, I did not go all begging and pleading, I got ticked off about how she chose her exit strategy but we made up for it on Sunday when I was telling her I was done and taking her stuff back. She agreed to meet me to pick it up but I did not give her the chance. She was stringing me along and making it convienent for her schedule, I put an end to that myself. I was able to go no contact because I thought a lot of it was my fault. I came here and other sites trying to decipher women and things said and types of break-ups and stages of relationships and how drugs affect a persons choices and how divorce affects future relationships. I am proud to say that because of this break-up, I have take a crash course into relationship psychology and have come out with a better understanding of it. I did not chase her as a lot of other people on these boards have done but then again we were in a 2 month relationship. While that might not seem like much, let me tell you, we spent entire weekends, back-to-back with each other along with several days during the week at each others places. We constantly communicated via text which is some what wrong because I made myself too available and put her on the pedestal. We spent a solid month practically every day together if you add up the time. People who "date" just dont do that and I think we moved to fast or she wasn't ready but I have come to terms with not ever knowing. Why did I break it? Because I am to a point where I have cut my losses and assume she has moved on. I went through the picturing her with anoher man phase and so on and I am pretty concrete with the whole situation. I also broke it because I am in "take it, or leave it" mode. That contact served two purposes, one was to test the waters and the other was a final farewell. As I said it before, she was my hearts best risk but she gave me the best feeling and I didn't have to take any pill to make that happen. In my mind, 1 woman out of 3 billion made me feel like superman. I am sure I will find my hearts kryptonite once more. Edited December 1, 2010 by Nkognito
Ajax Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 My last contact with my ex was September 2nd, so without looking at a calandar I'm roughly at 90 days. However my last contact with a previous ex is now 10 minutes ago. She works in a library and knows I'm working on my capstone so she offered to help me out, for which I'm actually quite grateful!
AlisaMarie Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 My last contact with my ex was September 2nd, so without looking at a calandar I'm roughly at 90 days. However my last contact with a previous ex is now 10 minutes ago. She works in a library and knows I'm working on my capstone so she offered to help me out, for which I'm actually quite grateful! Yeah... I talk to my previous ex all the time! He's a great friend now and he gives me advice on how he's happy and single. We ended it because he just loves his single life, period. I didn't believe him then, but over a year later I see that I was the last relationship he had. Talking to him doesn't count. He actually cheers me up and there is no emotional attachment any more. If he had a girlfriend, I might be a tiny jealous, but I would be happy that he found someone to calm his bachelor ways at 34.
chloe56 Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Its day 103 for me. I am amazed that I haven't broken NC,especially given my sudden anger which lasted for a few weeks previously. I am so glad this forum exists, even on my lowest days just reading the advice and experiences of others gets me through the day, and I know it will get better. It is getting better for me.Thank you all.
Gt.ooh Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 I don't honestly have a set start date for me. I would say i'm hovering around the month mark...and I too agree with 90 days.. I've been broken up for 3 months, but had to sort issues out as well as me just being selfish. Needless to say now that I no longer have a reason to talk to her, 3 months after all the holidays and I don't hear a thing..it's over and nothing will ever come about.
oxfordsocks Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 I'm on 92 days of NC right now. I do believe that if you go 3 months of NC and hear nothing from your ex, that they have moved on and didn't care at all. In the case of an affair--do you really think no contact from them means they didn't care--I haven;t attempted contact to him but i still cared??? doesn't mean i don't want to one day see his email or a text
Leandro Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 In the case of an affair--do you really think no contact from them means they didn't care--I haven;t attempted contact to him but i still cared??? doesn't mean i don't want to one day see his email or a text I didn't mean to offend you if I did. But threw my eyes, I see that my ex never cared about be me. I've even change my post to fix that.
Leandro Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 I do believe that if you go 3 months of NC and hear nothing from your ex, that they have moved on and didn't care at all. Well I tried to edit this post, but I guess you only have a certain amount of time to do it. Let me make it clear that what I said about the whole 3 months NC means your ex doesn't care or whatever. That's what I think about my ex, I see it that way. That doesn't mean it's true for every ex. Sorry for any misunderstanding.
AlisaMarie Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 Well I tried to edit this post, but I guess you only have a certain amount of time to do it. Let me make it clear that what I said about the whole 3 months NC means your ex doesn't care or whatever. That's what I think about my ex, I see it that way. That doesn't mean it's true for every ex. Sorry for any misunderstanding. Well I can pretty much agree that if anyone who thought I was important didn't contact me for 3 months, I would certainly assume that they don't care. That goes for exes, friends, and family. So I know what ya mean.
Leandro Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 Well I can pretty much agree that if anyone who thought I was important didn't contact me for 3 months, I would certainly assume that they don't care. That goes for exes, friends, and family. So I know what ya mean. Thank you
lyeex Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 today was day 3. honestly its easy for me to not contact him. i quit contacting him first a few months ago, even before i decided to move on lol. the hard part for me is to not respond to him when he contacts me. i doubt he will anymore, though, so it should be easy -- hopefully. good luck everyone
Author WTRanger Posted December 2, 2010 Author Posted December 2, 2010 Well I can pretty much agree that if anyone who thought I was important didn't contact me for 3 months, I would certainly assume that they don't care. That goes for exes, friends, and family. So I know what ya mean. It's tough, and I guess it differs person to person. I had a good friend whom I dated a while back that I didn't talk to for 6 years. It was just the way it was. We got back in contact and it was like those 6 years was more like 6 days. We just needed time to get our lives set out, but we certainly cared and still do care about each other. The whole point of the 90 days for me isn't to show that I don't care about the current girl. It's to show that I care about myself. That I can prove things to myself. It has nothing to do about them.
Leandro Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 It's tough, and I guess it differs person to person. I had a good friend whom I dated a while back that I didn't talk to for 6 years. It was just the way it was. We got back in contact and it was like those 6 years was more like 6 days. We just needed time to get our lives set out, but we certainly cared and still do care about each other. I like this story.
PegNosePete Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 Is there an "I'm not even counting" club?
voels Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 39 days of NC. I called her but she didn't pick up. She called me back, I decided not to talk to her as well. I'm dreaded for the upcoming Christmas and new year holiday. Sigh. She must be having fun out there.
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