scubachick Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year. 3 weeks ago he threw me a surprise party with all my close friends and family and some of his close friends. He even coordinated with my mom to fly my best friend out for it as a surprise. He bought me a necklace from Tiffany. He has done nothing but shower me with affection, tell me and everyone else how much he loves me, and say you're going to be with me forever. He talked about our future. Once in awhile we would joke around about marriage. His background: He had an ex (not married) with whom he had a child. The child is 7. They were only together for the kid. They are going through mediation for custody and child support issues right now and the mediation resulted in me not being able to see the kid for six months even though he already met me. This has been very stressful and hurtful to me and he knows it. All of the sudden he decided that he never wants to be married or have children. He spent so much time trying to reassure me that even though he has baggage with the ex and kid, he still loved my dearly and that we would figure all of our issues out. I was afraid to love him because I was afraid he had commitment issues due to the ex. Well, I have fallen for him. I love him so much I would do just about anything for him. Well, apparently it was bull**** because he dumped me by email. He said because he knows I do want marriage and kids, he says our futures are not in alignment. His email was a cold email that felt void of emotion, like I was a business transaction. I could deal with him not wanting to get married. All I wanted was a future with him because thats what he made me think he wanted too. Oh, and I found out that he was married to the girl before his ex. He cheated on her with his ex and got her pregnant. That is how his first marriage ended. How could he not tell me that??!!! For a year!
Leandro Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Welcome to LS Scubachick!! I'm sorry that this happen to you. I think he does have commitment issue. You need to start NC right away so that you can heal and move on. He dumped you via email!! he's not worth your time and you deserve better. Be glad it happen now and not after marriage. If he cheated on his first wife with his ex, he could easily do it to you.
kheart Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 I am sorry to hear that happened to you but like stated above, anyone who cheated on his wife, will do it to the same girl and the same girl and the same girl. Trust me, it has happened to me and I am still having hard time with heal it. I know that it really hurt but time will it. He was not worth your time. PS( I keep seeing others talking about NC, what is that?)
rugbyplayer1990 Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Hey Scubachick - i'm glad your talking on LS, this has really helped me. Keep posting, it seems your leaving out some details (maybe not) but was he really that great or are you fuzzy becasue of the hurt and scared. I know, when my GF and I brokeup, all I could do was romantize her exsistance, I forgot how hateful, manipulating and cold she was..
Leandro Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 PS( I keep seeing others talking about NC, what is that?) NC means No Contact. No Contact with the ex at all. No facebook or myspace messages, no emails, no letter, no phone calls and no texting.
Author scubachick Posted December 1, 2010 Author Posted December 1, 2010 There really wasn't anything more I left out. His ex has been a nightmare to deal with. Shes trying everything she can to squeeze everything out of him. He has been having a really hard time with it lately. But to me he was always wonderful. I am not exaggerating at all. Everything about our relationship was great. All of my friends are now his friends. Everyone thought the same thing with me. He told my mom a few weeks ago how much he loved me and would never hurt me. He told my friend who is getting married next year that when she sends my wedding invite, make sure its addressed to both of us and not guest because he doesn't want me taking anyone else. It was all love love love love. I was completely blindsided. I know he doesn't want to be with his ex or anything like that. He hates her. But why would he be so cruel to me? How could his feelings for me change a week later? A month ago he bought us tickets to Mexico for his friends wedding in February. We were supposed to fly back on valentines day.
Leandro Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 I know he doesn't want to be with his ex or anything like that. He hates her. But why would he be so cruel to me? How could his feelings for me change a week later? It's possible that he detaching himself from you emotionally before the break up, but he did all those things to make it seem like he was fine.
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