siuys Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Just curious since I've just written xMM out of my life. I know I have said this before and failed miserably, so until I can last at least a few months, I can not be trusted I don't think I am someone who dwell on things and do bounce back quite quickly (although have almost non-existent willpower hence breaking NCs etc). For those who have done it, how long did it take you to get over your affair partner after the final end?
September Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 It's been nearly a year and I am still not nearly over him....
oxfordsocks Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 its been 4 months since i spoke with mm-and i have only moved forward a smidge. I get ticked off for wasting anymore time if what we had was fake for him(according to his spouse) I see your threads here and your hurting all over the place with sooo many questions ((((hugs))) unrequited love is the worst of all the loves
Carrot2000 Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 It took me only a few months to get over "him", but I'm still getting over the "relationship". Being involved in this situation made me face a lot of things about myself: I have had a low self-esteem since I was a child and years of parental neglect left me love-starved and ripe for this kind of relationship. If I felt better about myself, MM never would have even approached me. I know my low sense of self-worth is what drew us together in the first place as we mirrored each other in that way.
BB07 Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 siuys, I'm almost 6 months out from the big discovery day of finding out that my xmm was a lying POS. I've been through the stages of grief, (look this up please as it will help you.) It's normal to go through a stage of wanting to bargain to avoid the pain but if you can get through it and see it for what it is, (a stage and part of it), you can move through the rest of it. When I was at the 3 month mark I knew that I was going to make it and I was going to be OK. I think the key is believing it's really OVER and that you are done. You have to know that your heart and your head will not accept things as they are and that you aren't going to accommodate the bs anymore. Hugs........ It can be done siuys, it really can.
ItsNeverForever Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Well, siuys, you just made me LOL at work - you know I can't be trusted either! As you know, I'm not over him, and feel like I never will be. Today, I don't want to be. But talk to me later when he's texted me another stupid crumb, and I might tell you otherwise... It took me only a few months to get over "him", but I'm still getting over the "relationship". Being involved in this situation made me face a lot of things about myself: I have had a low self-esteem since I was a child and years of parental neglect left me love-starved and ripe for this kind of relationship. If I felt better about myself, MM never would have even approached me. I know my low sense of self-worth is what drew us together in the first place as we mirrored each other in that way. B-I-N-G-O for me!!! Wow, what a revelation here, Carrot. I had the very same issues as a child, as well as physical & mental abuse from my mother, which my father just stood by & watched out of fear, doing nothing to protect me. Soooo, as you can see, and I am fully aware, I have issues! Although I no longer suffer from the low self-esteem thanks to years of IC and working on myself (I look better now than I did 15 years ago - go me!!!), my "MM" absolutely suffers from low self-esteem from his childhood (btw, he's STUNNINGLY handsome - go figure?). So, I think this mirroring-thing is playing some sort of part in all this for me/us... Very interesting.
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