oskin Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Hi everyone, I'm so troubled of myself. I just turned 22. I'm single, and my last relationship was 3 years ago. I never kissed and obviously still a virgin. I'm not the stereotypical-can't-get-girl-guy who are socially awkward. I'm funny and charming. I can get girls to like me BUT it all ends there. I'm not Brad Pitt but I'm good looking and there are/were girls who like me. I never been able to move past the flirting stage. If you met me in-person, you would never think I'm still a virgin or even shockingly, never kissed. I'm a very passive person when it comes to relationship. My last girlfriend literally asked me out. I only asked a girl out once, and that was also 3 years ago but it didn't go anywhere after the date. Two years ago, a girl liked me. I didn't like her at first but I started liking her because she liked me. However, I sat there and didn't take any action until she lost her interest. Then I became infatuated for the next 1.5 years and suffered so much emotionally that I dropped out of school for a year. Girl A: This year I came back to school. Every thing was great. I met a lot of new people. I love them and they love me. Girl A started liking me. It was fun flirting for awhile but I never took any action. It all died down. Now we barely talk. Girl B Meanwhile, I sensed girl B also liked me. We spent a lot of time together in school projects. She invited to her house for wine and watch movie. We flirt on sms. It was fun. Then awhile later, we drove back to school together from another city. She tried to invite me for wine and cheese that night but I had to turn it down because I have a lot school work the next day. Then we stopped talking after that. Everything seem to die down when I waited too long. I really want a relationship but I'm consciously and subconsciously avoiding to like someone because I can't take another emotional turmoil. It takes me years to get over someone. I'm feeling really happy when someone likes but it seems I'm also pushing her back. I know there is nothing wrong with me externally. Deep down, I have some psychological issues that need to be solved before I can be normal again. I can't and fear to express love, even to my family. We never hugged. We never said I love you. When my parents call me, I get annoyed even though I love them and would die for them. I never share anything to my sibilings (3 sisters). The only thing that I show love to is my cat. I wanted to have a girlfriend since I was a little boy. I guess the more you want it, the less likely you are going to get it. Any advice? Any book I should read?
strength-abounds Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Welcome to LS oskin. For starters dude, when a woman asks you to come to HER house for wine and conservation, there is not enough school work to keep from having that drink with her. Especially if I am interested in her socially; and, yes I'm a college student also. I think she got the feeling her interest was not reciprocated by you. Relax brother. If a woman is flirting with you, she is into you. If rejection is your biggest fear than you need to hang up ever finding a girlfriend simply because women and rejection walk hand in hand. Good luck and God Bless
AvianChaos Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Trust me man, you are not alone. I was the same exact way until i was 19, i always always wanted a girlfriend. I am a good-looking guy; talented, funny smart, but very introverted. I always thought the same thing, "what is wrong with me; why cant i get a girlfriend?" I understand it's a very painful and depressing feeling; and probably even more so to you since you are older (i'm 21 now). I would get somewhat obsessed about girls i liked but i didnt know what to do about it, it hurt me to know i would never be with them. My remedy may sound a little strange, but it has worked for me once, and it has worked for my friend who is now engaged (he was a virgin until age 26 when he met his now-fiance and he has never been happier). The answer is (drum roll) younger women!!! hahaha i know it sounds ridiculous, but a lot of girls find you interesting simply because you are older. Especially if you are good-looking and have something going for you work-wise/intelligence-wise/talent-wise. When i was 19, i fell in love with a 16 year old who was infatuated with me because of who i was and the charm I possessed. I met her brother through school, started hanging out at his house, met his sister, she started showing interest; my friend and i took her and her friend out to a movie. I was too chicken to kiss her then even though it was obvious she wanted it! But i kept hanging out with her and finally got over my fear and planted one on her and we kissed for an hour; the rest is history! I was so sad when that relationship ended, but being with her gave me confidence and now i have a beautiful girlfriend my age! By the way, my friend's fiance is 5 years younger than him. She liked him because he worked at a vet and treated her cat, was good looking, and acted nice towards her. He got her number and invited her to his birthday party over a text. That was it, she kissed him right before she left. You are capable of expressing love, trust me, you just need to find the right girl to help you; and you will!
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