cookieeater Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 I met the love of my life about two years ago online. I love her more than anything, and would want nothing more than to be with her. She lives on a complete other continent, but that didn’t stop us from being in a relationship. However, it all went downhill when she had the added pressure of living somewhere she isn’t comfortable because she constantly is feeling judged. She broke up on valentines’ day with me, yet still celebrated our anniversary the month after. So it was like we still were in a relationship till recently. Fights got worse. I tried the no contact rule, but all it did was make her try to make things work with some other guy. We use to talk (using our microphones and webcams) every single day, but now we hardly talk. She is going trough depression issues, so when I have tried to comfort her she has said things like: Why are you bein so god damn pushy? I have asked you repeatably to stop asking if something was bothering me. You won't listen. This is a reason why i cannot tell you things. and other times I'm there comforting her by making her tears stop. Sometimes she is okay and even flirts with me even after saying that she wants boundaries. Yesterday she was flirting with me and when I asked her why she said: I just wanted to give you a kiss. Giving a kiss because you have an un-existant owwies and i had to kiss it is not pushing boundaries. I just thought you'd appreciate it. I know. And i said sorry. It won't happen again. I did push bounderies. And it was wrong. I thought you'd want me to. I had no other reason. Idk why. Okay. I do not know why. and sometimes we are all love dubby. She tells me that she doesn’t want a relationship with me and if something happens when me meet it’ll happen, but just two months ago she wanted to marry me. She still sometimes says: I love you Then today she questioned me about the loan I was going to give her to get a car, but when I told her it might not be a good idea because we fight sometimes and we should wait till things are good. She got upset and said things like: Because you push me so much. All we ever have are conversations i don't want. Why can't you let it be easy. And let it not be so ****ing serious. The only serious thing i want is a relationship because i am ready for one. I do not want anything to be complicated if it's not needed or even necessary. I love her so much that she even admits that I love and care for her more than anyone else. I know she loves me, but I don’t know what to do. I give her space then she gets upset that I walk out on her. I try to be there for her and she tells me I'm to pushy. Please I greatly would appreciate some advice. I love her.
PegNosePete Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 She is crazy dude. Don't give her a loan, you'll never see it again. Why did she break up with you if she loves you? You need to NC, man. She is nuts. Giving you the hot and cold treatment, using you as an emotional tampon when she needs it, and discarding you afterwards. Definitely not relationship material. LDR are hard even when both are fully committed, which she obviously isn't. So, move on, NC her, find someone else.
Nkognito Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Cookieeater you should listen to Pete and do not give this woman money. I never understood relationships of such great distance. The mere trust involved that the other person is who they say they are and being faithful is just unfathomable.
DustySaltus Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Do not give her a dime. I don't understand, was she living with you and then moved back to her country? Did you ever physically meet? She seems like she may have some mental problems. I can tell you from experience that a long distance relationships coupled with mental and financial issues is a recipe for complete disaster. You have to ask yourself, do you really love her or are you just looking to be a hero to her? Because if you really do care about her and more importantly yourself, you have to go complete NC with the and begin the healing process for yourself. Read the links in my signature....
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