Sonolumino Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 I've come to realize something, it's great to be here, even in this relatively bad part of my life. The numbness and "dead inside" feeling is pretty much gone, although I do have my moments. I'm so much more grateful for this happening to me now, because at least now I can see the end of the tunnel, and there were relatively no "consequences" such as children, a home, money to divide, etc. It's weird, I'm almost happy that I can be this miserable about something, because it's pure evidence that I loved her. How many other people my age can say they loved someone truly? The only trick now is to not be content with misery, but to push forward and move back into "normalcy", whatever that may be. I think it's good to almost relish this feeling a bit, because like love, it doesn't come around that often. Just because it's on the other end of the spectrum doesn't mean it's any less real, or that it's any less valuable, just because its uncomfortable. I think one of the main things people do wrong when they go through a bit of hardship is to try as hard as they can to instantly get over it and get back into that comfort zone. I think it's better to look around a bit in the awkward, weird, hurtful, dark, and empty "place" we're in right now and learn all you can, because only lost love can do this to you. In a sense, explore and understand the pain and what it can teach you about yourself. Cherish it as much as you would the love you shared with that person, but know when it's time to put it in the past. As Marcel Proust said "Happiness is beneficial for the body, but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind". I tend to fully understand this quote now, and have learned to appreciate many more things. In short, there are too many lessons to be learned from this not to be at least slightly thankful.
strength-abounds Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 I agree wholeheartedly. 6 months ago I hoped to die in my sleep. Now, having experienced adultery and a divorce, I know I can beat anything that comes my way. Things are looking so good for me now. I don't really a have special someone right now but I think being alone is the best for me. Good luck to you my friend.
SimonSerenade Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 I'm happy for your realisation mate, I'm in the same boat at the minute, Miserable but happy that it ended now I can see the relationship for what it was, I went through hell and it made me stronger and able to say I'd never ever go back there, I realised that somewhere down the line I stopped making her happy and to be honest, I didn't make myself happy by putting up with how cruddy I was treated and how often I was taken for granted and at the bottom of the list of her priorities, I love her very deeply and because of that I wish her all the happiness in the world and I let her go, It was hard work and possibly the hardest time of my life these past 4 months but I'm finally in a place of peace within myself for doing the right things and the nice things, I've forgiven her for everything and I've forgiven myself too, I wish I didn't have a child with her right now as cutting lose without these ties would be so much easier just like it was in the past, Knowing I'd never have to see my ex's face again but unfortunately I have to deal with her now for at least the next 16 years of my life, If she realises she's made a mistake I know now I can tell her I've moved on and won't go back to that life.
Author Sonolumino Posted December 2, 2010 Author Posted December 2, 2010 Good for you both. I wish you both the best in your new endeavors. I, like you, regret nothing, nor would I have it be any different. It would take away from who I am now, and who I'm supposed to become.
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