crrogers Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 About 1 year ago, I met a guy on Yahoo! personals. I was finisihing up my residency and knew I would be leaving the state in 8 months. The relationship went really well. However, we cuddled a lot but he didn't really want that much sex. Anyway, we started dating and became exclusive. When I had to leave the state to finish my education, he and I decided to continue dating long-distance. Well, I moved to Seatlle to do a post-doc and had a roommate who always wanted to fix me up with her friends. I told her that I had a bf back in Michigan and logged into Yahoo! to show her what I thought was his inactive profile. When I logged into the website, I found that he had uploaded new pictures and the account was re-activated. From there, I went to Match.com and found a profile there. He was also on hookup sites. If anything can be said in his defense, he did write "NOT LOOKING FOR A HOOKUP" on his hook up site profiles. However, he was shirtless in the pictures. UGH! I called him about this and he said he was not cheating, that he was lonely and wanting to chat w/ othes in the area. I believed him because when we were living in the same city, I once saw a message from one of these hook up sites where a girl mentioned he had a nice chest and he complimented her chest in return. SHe then asked him to come to her house but he said that he was too "tired" rather than saying he had a girlfriend (me). I found it peculiar he said that and asked him to delete his profile. He did for awhile... Other than that, no problems in the first 8 months Well, now I am almost finished with my post-doc and he either wants me to move to Michigan to be with him. I have decided to break up with him but feel guilty for leaving him for an incident that occurred 6 months ago. However, I just can't see myself living with someone who rarely has sex with me and went behind my back to place online personals on dating sites. Can anyone tell me how I can break up with him while sparing his feelings?
PegNosePete Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 You be honest with him. It's best in the long run, for you and for him. That way, you can learn from the experience and so can he. If you give him some "it's not you it's me" line, he will probably know you're lying anyway, so just tell him straight up. Guys respect honesty.
hoping2heal Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 About 1 year ago, I met a guy on Yahoo! personals. I was finisihing up my residency and knew I would be leaving the state in 8 months. The relationship went really well. However, we cuddled a lot but he didn't really want that much sex. Anyway, we started dating and became exclusive. When I had to leave the state to finish my education, he and I decided to continue dating long-distance. Well, I moved to Seatlle to do a post-doc and had a roommate who always wanted to fix me up with her friends. I told her that I had a bf back in Michigan and logged into Yahoo! to show her what I thought was his inactive profile. When I logged into the website, I found that he had uploaded new pictures and the account was re-activated. From there, I went to Match.com and found a profile there. He was also on hookup sites. If anything can be said in his defense, he did write "NOT LOOKING FOR A HOOKUP" on his hook up site profiles. However, he was shirtless in the pictures. UGH! I called him about this and he said he was not cheating, that he was lonely and wanting to chat w/ othes in the area. I believed him because when we were living in the same city, I once saw a message from one of these hook up sites where a girl mentioned he had a nice chest and he complimented her chest in return. SHe then asked him to come to her house but he said that he was too "tired" rather than saying he had a girlfriend (me). I found it peculiar he said that and asked him to delete his profile. He did for awhile... Other than that, no problems in the first 8 months Well, now I am almost finished with my post-doc and he either wants me to move to Michigan to be with him. I have decided to break up with him but feel guilty for leaving him for an incident that occurred 6 months ago. However, I just can't see myself living with someone who rarely has sex with me and went behind my back to place online personals on dating sites. Can anyone tell me how I can break up with him while sparing his feelings? This guy goes behind your back and seeks attention from other women and you're worried about sparing HIS feelings? What about your feelings? I wouldn't stay either. I could never trust someone that sketchy and it is what it is. You don't need to be a stone cold b*tch about it, just explain you want to move on and don't see this working out in the long term.
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