lyeex Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 hello everyone i'm new here and trying to find some support to help me cope and get over this. so here's my story (sorry if its long!): i met this guy back in june. i saw him sitting with his friend and decided to go talk to him. he got my number and i got his. all was good. he would constantly text me, wanting to hang out with me and get to know me. i kept blowing him off because the night i had met him, i was drunk, and didn't think he was my type. finally on the fourth of july, i decided to meet up with him. he came to my apartment and picked my friend and i up and took us to his apartment where he was having a party. as the night progressed, people left (including my friend) and i decided to spend the night. we ended up having sex (i was a virgin at the time and he knew this. also, i had told him in a text that i wasnt looking for a relationship, just wanted to have fun -- or so i thought at the time!). after that night, him and i would hang out every weekend (notice i said "hang out" meaning i would go to his place, or he'd come to mine. not ONCE did he take me out on a real date!). Hanging out on just the weekends progressed into seeing eachother during the week as well. We always had fun together, i loved being around him and i slowly started to fall for him. there was one time when he asked me what we were, and i said i didnt know. in the beginning he wanted a relationship, but i did not. well, around august, i started to really develop feelings for him. but he started slowly becoming more distant. i got angry with him and told him i was tired of this and that i really wanted to be with him, but he told me that we should just keep "seeing eachother" and go from there. i went along with it, knowing that i needed more or i wouldn't be happy, but we continued to see eachother. then september came along. i saw him once or twice at the beginning of september. i became frustrated and drunk texted him and asked him why he was doing this to me (ignoring me, being distant etc.) and i think that made him realize that i had feelings for him, so the more distant he became. around mid september, he started back to school and was also working. i didnt hear from him for about 2 weeks. thats when the late night booty calls started. he would have me come over late at night, then i wouldnt hear from him again for another few weeks. finally, i got tired of it. i started telling him no when he'd invite me over late at night. he'd beg but i wouldnt give in, even though it killed me inside because i wanted to see him so bad, but not as a bootycall. the last time i saw him was at the beginning of october. well anyway, this past weekend, he texted me asking me to come over at 1 am. i did a stupid mistake and said yes to him, even though i knew why he wanted me to come over. i asked him if i was coming to his place or if he was coming to mine, and he never replied. days went by and i didnt hear from him. he never gave me any type of lame excuse or anything on why he blew me off. it angered me so bad. hurt me so bad. i thought about confronting him about it, but i figured it wasnt worth it because he's obviously lost interest in having an actual relationship with me. so today, i deleted him off facebook, which was a big step for me haha. i was tired of knowing what he was up to because it made it so much harder for me to let go. part of me still wonders if he'll even notice, and if he does, what he'll do about it if anything. this was the first guy that i had ever gotten emotionally attatched to. i'm completely heart broken because i wanted so much more, and he treated me like crap. i suppose its my fault for having sex too soon and telling him up front that i just wanted to have fun (which i did at the time, i had no idea id fall for him!) but i've got to move on. so any thoughts? why would a guy that initially wanted a relationship (or so i thought) back off when i start to actually want a relationship?? (makes no sense to me!) i really need some advice so that i dont make the same mistakes with the next guy. also some advice for getting over this would be nice as well. thanks
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 I'm rather moved by the idea that you could know that, even with your virginity on the line, you still wanted initially to "have fun". It is NORMAL for your feelings to grow and grow for somebody once you've had sex with them. I don't really know what I can tell you that will help in the future. I don't condemn you for having done anything wrong, although the 'drunk texting' probably had you coming across as more desperate than you really were. It really is fair that you wanted so much more from him, and it is great that you were able to communicate that to him. In due tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime, you will look back on him as being just another guy who didn't know what he wanted, and who couldn't identify someone great when she was right in front of his eyes.
strength-abounds Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Honey, you're his FB. That's it. Guys will tell a women ANYTHING to get into your pants. You didn't do anything wrong. Just with the wrong dude. Find a MAN that will love you for you, not your actions in the bedroom. Good luck and God Bless.
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