halemeno Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 So after weeks of on-and-off ignoring me, only contacting me when he wanted to have sex or arrange a threesome with me (and me always turning him down), xMM texted a couple days ago asking how my holiday was. It was obviously just a text setting up a request for sex, as it always is, but for some reason I still felt guilty not responding. So I gave a polite explanation, and he responded by again launching into a rant about how depressed he is. I told him I was sorry and that I hoped he would at some point feel better but said nothing more because I gave him the information he needed to get into IC and owe him nothing more. However, he heard through a mutual friend that I'm dating someone new, and started sending text after text asking how my new relationship is going, whether it was serious/exclusive, whether I like the new guy more than him, etc. It was pathetic and ridiculous, and I never replied because I knew he was just trying to wedge himself back in and find out if there was a chance of getting back with me. So, to my (non)surprise, I found out today through the same mutual friend that xMM was trying to get another friend of hers to sleep with him while he was involved with me (and married, obviously). I had always suspected that, but the kicker was that he told the other girl he was trying to sleep with that he hadn't been with anyone except his wife. He's cheated before he was with me, too, so that's a pretty huge lie. What I'm actually surprised about is how much this has upset me. Don't get me wrong, this has only strengthened my resolve and convinced me even more that I'm done with his crap, but I'm surprised by how much I want to chew him out instead of just being glad that I'm out of it. I am glad, but I also want justice for his W and the other girls he strung along. He's scum and I don't understand why his W stays with him after the various d-days they've had. Should I do/say anything about this? I've thought about sending an anonymous letter to his W letting her know what I do, but I don't want to hurt her any more than she's already been hurt. What's the right thing to do?
carrie999 Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 What I'm actually surprised about is how much this has upset me. Don't get me wrong, this has only strengthened my resolve and convinced me even more that I'm done with his crap, but I'm surprised by how much I want to chew him out instead of just being glad that I'm out of it. I am glad, but I also want justice for his W and the other girls he strung along. He's scum and I don't understand why his W stays with him after the various d-days they've had. Should I do/say anything about this? I've thought about sending an anonymous letter to his W letting her know what I do, but I don't want to hurt her any more than she's already been hurt. What's the right thing to do? Wow! What a jerk. And you're right, you are lucky you figured this out and at least started moving on with someone new. And I completely understand your need for revenge, and though misplaced (and based on your own hurt, not hers), you want his wife to know. But understand that it's YOUR need to get back at him, not an altruistic gesture. Their marriage is their business. He WILL screw it up, and you won't be there to have any part of it, which is the best thing you can ask for from a terrible situation. She probably knows or suspects something anyway, and it's up to her to rip the blinders off and figure it out on her own. And if she chooses to stay with him, which she might, that's certainly not even any of your business. Mourn this loss, and take from it what you can, if only a newfound strength and resolve to find someone (single) who treats you with respect. And don't let it interfere with your new relationship.
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