colliejoanie Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 So, maybe it's time to start playing the games I see everyone talking about on LS. I'm going to try it. What do I have to lose? Being nice has only gotten me hurt, and feeling used. So, when the guy I'm "seeing" texted me tonight after not hearing from him for three days "I made my first sale!!!". Normally I would have showered him in praise and congratulations. I just said "Great job, M I'm happy for you". He kept fishing for more compliments, I gave one word answers like he gives me. He then went on to say he's celebrating tonight by going to a pro hockey game. I slapped him with a smiley face. That's it. Instead of the usual "i'm so jealous, have so much fun, call me later". It's an experiment. We'll see if the standoffish and at arms length responses actually cause him to be more attentive. I've already written this relationship off, so it can't hurt anything. I'll actually be sad if it works.....because that means guys actually do like b..........'s.
Knittress Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 This goes for guys and girls - don't be a doormat for someone that's ambivalent about you. If this approach works with this felllow it's because he's an immature ego-driven tard like most youngsters, and it's NOT because 'all guys are like this' or 'all girls are like that.'
AverageJoe Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Him: Going to a pro hockey game tonight. You: Thats too bad, I am going to need someone to rub down my tits with exotic oils. I just dont have the energy to do it myself. Him: I will be right over. Problem solved. Yes, we are that simple.
Author colliejoanie Posted December 1, 2010 Author Posted December 1, 2010 Average Joe, you actually made me laugh out loud........HAHA......Thank you!!!
Mad Max Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Playing games is not the answer. You'll experience at least some success, but it will be with low quality men. Someone like me would bolt the second you started playing such games.
daphne Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Him: Going to a pro hockey game tonight. You: Thats too bad, I am going to need someone to rub down my tits with exotic oils. I just dont have the energy to do it myself. Him: I will be right over. Problem solved. Yes, we are that simple. You are a bad person. (character requirements)
daphne Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Well, there's a theory that you should mirror the enthusiasm/interest level of the other person so you don't get ahead of yourself. I wouldn't be angry about it. It's human nature to a certain extent. We teach people how to treat us. Use this as an experiment and try not to take it personally (i know it's easier said than done.) See how he responds, refine it and learn from it for the next guy. Who knows. Maybe he'll start ramping up and surprise you. I will say that I have been known to be a little less enthusiastic about a guy when I was very interested in him. I was trying not to let on that he made me giddy. I didn't want to be "the girl" in the relationship. He was a man's man and I didn't want to be in constant pursuit so I laid back a little. I think it frustrated him but he kind of liked it too because I never came on strong and he had to work for it. Try it and see what happens. Can't hurt at this point can it?
Untouchable_Fire Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 So, maybe it's time to start playing the games I see everyone talking about on LS. I'm going to try it. What do I have to lose? Being nice has only gotten me hurt, and feeling used. So, when the guy I'm "seeing" texted me tonight after not hearing from him for three days "I made my first sale!!!". Normally I would have showered him in praise and congratulations. I just said "Great job, M I'm happy for you". He kept fishing for more compliments, I gave one word answers like he gives me. He then went on to say he's celebrating tonight by going to a pro hockey game. I slapped him with a smiley face. That's it. Instead of the usual "i'm so jealous, have so much fun, call me later". It's an experiment. We'll see if the standoffish and at arms length responses actually cause him to be more attentive. I've already written this relationship off, so it can't hurt anything. I'll actually be sad if it works.....because that means guys actually do like b..........'s. Sorry, playing the same game as him won't get you what you want. You will just wind up stuck in an LTR with an emotional midget. Go You! Here is an idea. Find a guy that isn't into childish games.
Woggle Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 You will never attract a quality man playing games like this. Why not drop this guy and focusing an finding a better man instead?
Author colliejoanie Posted December 1, 2010 Author Posted December 1, 2010 I'm definitely moving on. I have a date on Thursday. And maybe one on Saturday. Both guys so far seem very mature and NOT self absorbed. One even offered to come bring me coffee between jobs tomorrow so I didn't have to go out of my way to meet up with him........WHA?????? I really am just using this as an experiment. I'm completely unattracted to the guy I've been stressing over now. I don't know why it took me this long to realize that I deserve to be treated SO MUCH BETTER. And maybe I should just let this go, but I really do want to see if I have it in me to be the girl I've heard so much about......aloof. Unconcerned. I never want to be a game player, but maybe I do need to change my approach, not wear my heart on my sleeve. And as another poster suggested, maybe learn from his reactions to my evasiveness??? Who knows. I'm just happy I'm finally to a place where HIS evasiveness isn't bothering me. Screw him!
Author colliejoanie Posted December 1, 2010 Author Posted December 1, 2010 OK, so I haven't heard from M (The Original Guy)......go figure. I have heard from coffee guy......so sweet, but I declined his offer to bring coffee tomorrow, we now have a coffee date set for Thursday @ 2. Have also heard from "young guy".......and I realize I'm NOT the game playing type. I can tell he's playing games. He is already talking about back rubs, and that he's doing laundry because I didn't ask him to hang out....."jk". REALLY?? AND, here's the game part.........he literally takes EXACTLY 20 minutes to respond to texts. EXACTLY. Nope, not a game player. And won't be going out with "young guy"........ And M??????? You continue to disappoint me.
musemaj11 Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Mmm, I think the issue is not that you are nice. The issue is that you are naive. This guy doesnt seem like a quality person in the first place. If a girl doesnt contact me in any form at least once a day, I dont take her seriously anymore. I mean even my best buddy contacts me at least once a day.
Author colliejoanie Posted December 1, 2010 Author Posted December 1, 2010 Mmm, I think the issue is not that you are nice. The issue is that you are naive. This guy doesnt seem like a quality person in the first place. If a girl doesnt contact me in any form at least once a day, I dont take her seriously anymore. I mean even my best buddy contacts me at least once a day. Yes, I agree. Naive.......at least this time. Chalking this experience up to him being the first guy in 10 years.....I'm learning........
Author colliejoanie Posted December 1, 2010 Author Posted December 1, 2010 So, M just texted....it's almost midnight....."two thumbs and drunk.......me......sorry" SO OVER IT!!! You're friggin 38!!! I'm not responding. Thanks LS.
musemaj11 Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 So, M just texted....it's almost midnight....."two thumbs and drunk.......me......sorry" SO OVER IT!!! You're friggin 38!!! I'm not responding. Thanks LS. Are you sure he isnt 18?
Andy_K Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 I can tell he's playing games. He is already talking about back rubs, and that he's doing laundry because I didn't ask him to hang out....."jk". REALLY?? AND, here's the game part.........he literally takes EXACTLY 20 minutes to respond to texts. EXACTLY. Nope, not a game player. And won't be going out with "young guy"........ You're ditching a guy because he always takes 20 mins to reply to texts? In all honesty, if that happened to one of my friends, I would think he probably had a lucky escape from a girl who's massively over-thinking everything and is clearly nuts.
Untouchable_Fire Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 I really am just using this as an experiment. I'm completely unattracted to the guy I've been stressing over now. I don't know why it took me this long to realize that I deserve to be treated SO MUCH BETTER. And maybe I should just let this go, but I really do want to see if I have it in me to be the girl I've heard so much about......aloof. Unconcerned. I never want to be a game player, but maybe I do need to change my approach, not wear my heart on my sleeve. And as another poster suggested, maybe learn from his reactions to my evasiveness??? Who knows. I'm just happy I'm finally to a place where HIS evasiveness isn't bothering me. Screw him! Wait... hold the phone! This guy was a douche and a jerk because he played these games with you. Why? Why do you think it's Ok to turn around and do the same thing to other people? Be yourself... and don't be a jerk to other people just because 1 guy was a jerk to you.
Author colliejoanie Posted December 1, 2010 Author Posted December 1, 2010 You're ditching a guy because he always takes 20 mins to reply to texts? In all honesty, if that happened to one of my friends, I would think he probably had a lucky escape from a girl who's massively over-thinking everything and is clearly nuts. No, I'm not ditching him because he takes 20 minutes to respond. I'm ditching him because he was pushy, and inappropriate - at least for my taste. And THEN I noticed that he was taking exactly 20 minutes to respond to every text.....like he'd read a manual that said "don't respond to a text for twenty minutes". It was funny. Guess you had to be there........
daphne Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 No, I'm not ditching him because he takes 20 minutes to respond. I'm ditching him because he was pushy, and inappropriate - at least for my taste. And THEN I noticed that he was taking exactly 20 minutes to respond to every text.....like he'd read a manual that said "don't respond to a text for twenty minutes". It was funny. Guess you had to be there........ If he was pushy and inappropriate, that would be a primary reason not to pursue it. I'm not sure that I would even notice it took someone 20 minutes before responding to every text. Unless he did it 30 times in a row. I do think, perhaps, that you could relax just a little in overanalyzing. We women tend to do it and I'm not saying paying attention isn't a good thing. But watching every move is going to keep you from a) enjoying your life b) organically progressing into a relationship. What happens when you meet a guy who isn't pushy or otherwise impaired? What will you look for then?
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