Ruination Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Okay.... I'll star with saying I liked this guy while going out with my past boyfriend. My ex was not good to me at all, so sometimes I would just get crushes on people, felt a little guilty about it and they would go away. I have liked this guy since maybe July of this year, and never knew he had liked me also. He recently told me he's liked me as well for 3 months. Me and my ex broke up...last week after he had said some really cruel things to me I broke it off, finally. Me and my crush had been talking about a day or 2 before the break up, and have been talking pretty much every day since then through texts, with a call here and there. He clearly likes me, I know he is a genuine guy, he's not a player or a hook-up artist. He has admitted me likes me, vice versa. We flirt openly through texts but we are also too shy to flirt on the phone, as of now... My problem is he won't hang out with me because he is my ex's older brother's best friend. He says it is too soon. I didn't know siblings friends were in the "code" or "off-limits". He said to me, we'll both know when the time is right, a bunch of other stuff and that it is too soon now because he has so much respect for my ex's family. And when I say hang out, I mean just hang out as friends. I don't have a lot of friends so I get lonely. I would never even make the first move, and I wouldn;t yet because I know he seems to have morals or something about this situation. He has invited me to a holiday part on the 18th of December which I am attending, I am going to go over early to help decorate and cook. So obviously by that point well have to be hanging out unless he puts it off even longer... My question is.. what is the deal with this guy? Is it really too soon? I've only been in one relationship, a terrible one, and I'm not sure what to do here. I really like him, but I'm not going to keep pursuing him if this avoidance is going to last for a really long time PS - Thanks for your opinions in advance
O'Malley Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Good for you for gathering the courage to leave what sounded like an unhealthy relationship. As far as this other guy, it's beneficial for you to allow things to lay for a while. Don't put all of your focus on this one man entirely; he may be a great person, but understandably he's hesitant about getting involved with you so soon after your recent relationship. This is the time for you to be a little selfish: go/see/do the things you were unable to do while you were involved with your ex, socialize with more people, try to make some new friends. If you meet someone else attractive, flirt, go on dates. Figure out what you want out of life and what you feel is important for you to be secure and content in future relationships. If you still have strong feelings for him later on, you can see where that leads.
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