smk Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 So it's been a while since I posted here... Almost 6 months since we broke up - and NC is not easy as she works for a company I part own. Anyways cut a long story short I found out today that she is back in contact with an old ex who used to abuse her both physically and emotionally. After what she told he did to her for a long time I am concerned about her and there is a part of me that wants to express this concern to her. I am also worried that he may sooner or later harm her however I also realise that I am no longer the person that she wants worrying about her. Basically this guy has done treated her in the past in a way that is beyond cruel, and she had cut off all contact with him for several years until a few months ago. All of a sudden he has shown up now and is supposedly very active in her life... I know that it's not my problem anymore but I still dare about her and am worried about the path that she has chosen to take. From what I hear she is still very intimidated by him yet she meets him almost every day... Do I say something to her or do I just leave it and get on with my life??? I know it's er choice but she is and always will be someone I care about.... I could really use some advice here.... Thanks in advance....
Ajax Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 I see where you're coming from, but you're right in saying that you're not the one she wants caring about her right now. People make mistakes and all too often need to be left alone to make them. If you contact her and try to warn her about this guy then there's a good chance she'll just end up getting hostile towards you and going off and telling the other guy how big of a jerk YOU are. I know it sucks, but you have to let her do her own thing.
nowwhatnow Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 heyyy I have a situation, not as extreme as yours, but quite similar. My ex-bf went into a bit of a depression and that is when he broke up with me. It was really hard for me to be dumped by him but I was also torn because he is not himself, and I really thought he did need help from a professional. I was really unsure of what to do because I was truly worried for his health. But you know what? I realized he does not want me to help him because if he did he would not have cut me out of his life completely. He obviously does not want my help.
PegNosePete Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Dude you need to let her live her life. It's hers to do with as she pleases. She knows what kind of guy this bloke is, so if anything happens to her, it's on her own head. If she wants to get with him or to become a druggie or sleep around or talk up crocheting, it's entirely her decision now.
mickleb Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Dude you need to let her live her life. It's hers to do with as she pleases. She knows what kind of guy this bloke is, so if anything happens to her, it's on her own head. If she wants to get with him or to become a druggie or sleep around or talk up crocheting, it's entirely her decision now. Indeed. I think you may have to diplomatically let anyone, who is leaking news of her personal life to you, know that you don't want to hear it. You have your own plate to deal with. And someone in your future who deserves your love and attention. Make sure you're ready for her when she turns up. x
GrayClouds Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 (edited) You are still feeling left over remnants to the idea that taking care of her makes you a better you. It is a handy way of distracting yourself from writing your own story by allowing yourself to get caught up in someone else's drama. Here read this quote: "This is my story. It starts with me. And it ends with me. And everything in the middle is about me. Greatest f@)#}!g story ever written." - STM Now go back to your writing. . Edited December 2, 2010 by GrayClouds
Author smk Posted December 2, 2010 Author Posted December 2, 2010 hey guys, thanks for the advice... i know and fully understand that she is no longer a part of my life and that whatever life choices she makes she must bear the consequences... i think what kinda ticked me off is that everything she led me to believe about her seems to be completely different to the person she is now becoming... i guess people change... The only reason i get fed the info is because she works for me (well for a company I part own and am a director off) and lately this character has been showing up at the office, she is constantly on the phone to him and it does seem to be effecting her output and hence when i get my monthly update of whats going on in the business i get the info of all the people who work there as well and that includes her... hence its kinda difficult to go complete NC... on a brighter note though - i have moved quite far along in my self development - am looking at going back to school to do an MBA next year, been working out regularly and starting to look good again, and can actually see other girls and find them attractive without looking for a comparison... @ Pete - hows things going with you?? its been a while... we should grab a beer next time you are around central london and check out the sites the city has to offer us...
PegNosePete Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 Yeah dude that'll be cool. I'm pretty booked up til mid Jan-Feb though, busy busy me for once
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