U1987 Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 When I went out with my coworker last Tuesday, we went in a group of 3 guys and 4 girls. One of the guys ended up hooking up with one of the girls. My coworker went back and force dancing with me, the third guy and random guys in the club. At one point, she left our group completely to dance with other guys in the club. All night and for the rest of the night, the third guy kept approaching random girls at the club. Some girls gave him a short convo but said bye soon after. Some girls gave him the cold shoulder or the palm. Some girls were really harsh and told him to "f*** off" or "bite me creep!" But at the end of the night, after maybe 15 to 20 girls and 15 to 20 rejection, he ended up dancing, making out and going home with one of the hottest girls in the club. She was gorgeous; she could have been a model. It was inspiring, but at the same time, I don't understand how a guy could withstand so many simultaneous, consecutive rejections, even if he walks away with the prize of one of the most beautiful women in the club. But it also made me wonder, all the "players" (all the guys who always seem to be hooking up with tonnes of beautiful women) do you think they also get rejected by an equal or even greater number of women?
sally4sara Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 Yup, in the same was that the person in any given group of people who has the most unprotected sex will likely have the most STDs and unplanned children out of that group.
carhill Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 IMO, the men who approach the most get rejected the most, in pure numbers, but I doubt their *percentages* of rejection versus success vary markedly from any other man and it's possible their numbers might be superior to a man who approaches less. If your goal is to take the hottest woman at the club home, then the example you shared is a great methodology. Time and practice teach you the tricks and repeated rejection teaches you how to disconnect emotionally from the dynamic. In that way, numbers can help you. The tricky part is recovering your emotional self when you meet someone worthy of investment. Next time, give it a try and see...
PJKino Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 It is a nubmers game the more you approach the more you have a chance to get somebodies number.. My egos way too fragile and my self esteem is already low enough i couldnt handle that many rejcections in one night without going in the fetal position..
Sabali Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 It was inspiring, but at the same time, I don't understand how a guy could withstand so many simultaneous, consecutive rejections, even if he walks away with the prize of one of the most beautiful women in the club. But it also made me wonder, all the "players" (all the guys who always seem to be hooking up with tonnes of beautiful women) do you think they also get rejected by an equal or even greater number of women? Absolutely. Once you grow past the fear of rejection, you feel invincible when approaching. What else is their to stop you? Approaching then becomes something very natural and you don't even think about it before you do it. There is no planning. There is no premeditated conversation. Sounds like your friend has learned to not give a damn about a woman who he will probably never see again who calls him a creep. Good for him. When someone becomes that fearless with approaches, the number game works in his favor. I bet you that your coworker wasn't surprised at all about the woman he walked away with that night. It's called "the weekend" by someone with guts. These guys are not in short supply. I once live in a unique place where most of the guys in the city were like this. The competition was through the freakin roof. This is why you can call someone on their BS when they tell you that they saw someone at a party or club that they were interested in but "didn't get a chance to talk to her" because she was always talking to someone at the event and was never alone. A man with some real ballz will just go up to group, introduce himself to everyone, making his last introduction to the woman he is interested in and just continue to talk to her. If you think this is crazy and unthinkable, that is okay... that just leaves more time for you to approach Rosey at home.
sumdude Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Think of it this way. In the same season Babe Ruth had the home run record he also had the record for strike outs.
Sivok Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 You need confidence to approach a woman, and competence to reel her in. If your friend was suffering from rejections that harsh, I'm assuming he went in with a high risk - high reward mentality. Not hiding what he wanted out of that night and letting the approached women know it. I can't say I've ever been rejected as rudely as your friend did, but I don't push the envelope in my initial interaction either. Seems like it's working for him!
Author U1987 Posted December 1, 2010 Author Posted December 1, 2010 The problem is though, this isn't a big city; I saw 2 ex-girlfriends and 2 old highschool classmates at the club. My concern is this; what is a guy going to do when he runs into those 19 OTHER women again?
Author U1987 Posted December 1, 2010 Author Posted December 1, 2010 Go to a different club? How small can a city really be if you bump into 19 women you once tried to get into bed with? 80,000 people. It's really more of a large town rather than a small city. All the clubs are on 1 street on 1 city block and 1 more a few blocks away.
Green Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 When I went out with my coworker last Tuesday, we went in a group of 3 guys and 4 girls. One of the guys ended up hooking up with one of the girls. My coworker went back and force dancing with me, the third guy and random guys in the club. At one point, she left our group completely to dance with other guys in the club. All night and for the rest of the night, the third guy kept approaching random girls at the club. Some girls gave him a short convo but said bye soon after. Some girls gave him the cold shoulder or the palm. Some girls were really harsh and told him to "f*** off" or "bite me creep!" But at the end of the night, after maybe 15 to 20 girls and 15 to 20 rejection, he ended up dancing, making out and going home with one of the hottest girls in the club. She was gorgeous; she could have been a model. It was inspiring, but at the same time, I don't understand how a guy could withstand so many simultaneous, consecutive rejections, even if he walks away with the prize of one of the most beautiful women in the club. But it also made me wonder, all the "players" (all the guys who always seem to be hooking up with tonnes of beautiful women) do you think they also get rejected by an equal or even greater number of women? A guy who takes more tries is of course more likely to get a Date. Obviously if you were rich and famouse it would only take one try but you work with what you got. Like if you were looking for a job and getting rejected didn't bother you why not try to get interviews with 20 different jobs instead of just one. IMO, the men who approach the most get rejected the most, in pure numbers, but I doubt their *percentages* of rejection versus success vary markedly from any other man and it's possible their numbers might be superior to a man who approaches less. If your goal is to take the hottest woman at the club home, then the example you shared is a great methodology. Time and practice teach you the tricks and repeated rejection teaches you how to disconnect emotionally from the dynamic. In that way, numbers can help you. The tricky part is recovering your emotional self when you meet someone worthy of investment. Next time, give it a try and see... I think no matter what your goal is fearing rejection and letting some one elses opinion of you have so much power is unattractive. women like men who know how to have fun and don't seem fragile like they might cry if the girl says no. The problem is though, this isn't a big city; I saw 2 ex-girlfriends and 2 old highschool classmates at the club. My concern is this; what is a guy going to do when he runs into those 19 OTHER women again? Actualy thats no problem at all women especialy young club girls are likely to reject you one week "no way creep" and then accept you the next week "don't I know you from some where, yeah lets go back to your place"
Sabali Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 (edited) The problem is though, this isn't a big city; I saw 2 ex-girlfriends and 2 old highschool classmates at the club. My concern is this; what is a guy going to do when he runs into those 19 OTHER women again? So what if they do run into you again? Then what? They won't kick you @$$ or anything. There won't be any @$$ whoopings happening. So then what will you, he, or me worry about? The woman will point her fingers and say "hey, there is the creep who tried to take me home last week." You think that may happen? Really, man. Most women don't even think about you after they reject you when you are out, especially a hot woman since she gets hit on so freakin much. You think a woman who rejects you will have you on her mind the following morning? No. She won't. You kind of have to raise your threshold for feeling humiliated very high and almost out of existence. It really is crippling. If you are the type of person that give a f*** about what people think, you are giving yourself a big handicap. Just don't take yourself so seriously. Have fun. Edited December 1, 2010 by Sabali
thatsonlyme Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 The bottom line is, he went home with one of the hottest girls in the club! Nobody is going to point fingers at him and laugh because he got rejected 20 times, it's more like guys will be jealous and other girls will want him even more!
that girl Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Yes, the more people you hit on the better your odds. But I think the people who do the best are really the ones who are best at judging who might be interested. Those people don't have to hit on 5 people never mind 19 people to find someone to dance with. Obviously hitting on 19 people in one night can work, but I'd bet one or two of those women noticed he was making the rounds and wrote him off because of it. Not necessarily a big deal though. How small can a city really be if you bump into 19 women you once tried to get into bed with? When I used to go out dancing a couple of times a month, I ran into a lot of guys more than once in a city of about half a million. It was only really a problem for the guy when he was a jerk, in which case word gets around.
threebyfate Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 There's a subset of men who this rule don't apply to. They're the hottest men who are both confident and also, have charm to burn with all the right social graces, men who can read women, who know what works with them. You'll find that these men actually like women and we know and can feel it. But most men, I would say this would be applicable.
Green Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 bottom line don't fear rejection. If you see 20 girls at a night club who all interest you then why not try talking to and dancing with them, then ask them out.
dispatch3d Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Yes, the more people you hit on the better your odds. But I think the people who do the best are really the ones who are best at judging who might be interested. Those people don't have to hit on 5 people never mind 19 people to find someone to dance with. Obviously hitting on 19 people in one night can work, but I'd bet one or two of those women noticed he was making the rounds and wrote him off because of it. Not necessarily a big deal though. When I used to go out dancing a couple of times a month, I ran into a lot of guys more than once in a city of about half a million. It was only really a problem for the guy when he was a jerk, in which case word gets around. hahahaha I feel like this is how all girls think. Uhhh yeah but some guys just hit on girls that like them duh. It doesn't work like that in the real world. I can talk to a girl for 10 ****ing hours and have NO CLUE if she likes me or not. She may also actually hit on me and I still have no clue if that means anyyything. The fact is your friend has more game than you, and probably has a higher success rate. I don't think any amount of talking or reasoning or whatever chitter chatter is going to put you over the hump of accepting "rejection". I think looking at things as a pass or fail, good or bad, etc. is silly. Some girls just reject everyone. Some guys just choose to be oblivious to the opinion of others, especially when its negative.
daphne Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 My egos way too fragile and my self esteem is already low enough i couldnt handle that many rejcections in one night without going in the fetal position.. (characters)
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