alexlakeman Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 You see this all the time... Women put on their requirements a minimum salary for the guy. It irks me n/9 it's like they are looking for a sugar daddy, especially when they don't list their career nor salary range. I personally don't put my salary, but I consider my $$ to be comfortable. I understand when a woman puts salary requirments b/c she has a high salary as well, has an advanced career, etc. And would be someone I would be interested in since our tax brackets would be in the same range, and I don't want to date someone making min wage either. So last night I decided to be a d.ick, a polite d.ick lol I saw three profiles which I loved, but had salary requiremnts and no indication on their career or salary. So I sent them similar emails (eached geared to their specific profiles, but ended each email similarly. Something like "I see you require a minimum salary. What do you bring to the table and what do I het for said salary? Another one I sent, "I see you have a salary range you looking for, well so do I. Are we disclosing financials on our first meeting"? Are you ready? I got two responses within the hour and another this am lol. One explained why and told me her career, so it was friendly and their might be life there. The second one that responded was as sarcastic as I was lol and said "I'm an executive and d salary is for me to know ...m..l lol I didn't write this one back And the third, I have to read her response. Other than the reason that a woman wants someone in their same tax bracket, why make it so obvious they are lookiong for someone with $$$?
EasyHeart Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 It's their choice and you don't get to decide what's important to them. For instance, I don't want to date fat women. I'm sure that makes me a horrible person in some womens' eyes, but I know myself well-enough to know that I won't be attracted to someone that isn't smaller than me. I don't think any of us should have to justify what we find attractive.
carhill Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 Other than the reason that a woman wants someone in their same tax bracket, why make it so obvious they are looking for someone with $$$? The simplest reason is because they can. If you knew that you could say nearly anything, behave in nearly any way and someone, somewhere would always give you attention and want to f*ck you, what would you do? LOL. As a control measure, try a little of that 'frank honesty' yourself in your profile. Online dating is fun
Author alexlakeman Posted November 30, 2010 Author Posted November 30, 2010 Carhill you are right. A woman can have a one paragraph profile and we'll bite and take the bait, coningent she's good eye candy lol. I just remembered I did to someone else last week and her and she responded "my income is low 6 figs, I am a PhD" lol I migjt be on to something, just tweak down the sarcasm lol
Star Gazer Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 It's not always about gold digging into a man's pockets. In fact, I'd say it's more likely she's looking for someone who's not going to use HER for money. Some women put a salary requirement so that you know whether you're compatible. She may not put her own, and you don't even have to put yours. But if you look at hers, and she has a job that you'd think was well-paying, and you know you're not within her range, you can and should just move on.
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 It's their choice and you don't get to decide what's important to them. For instance, I don't want to date fat women. I'm sure that makes me a horrible person in some womens' eyes, but I know myself well-enough to know that I won't be attracted to someone that isn't smaller than me. I don't think any of us should have to justify what we find attractive. Hear, hear. I am not justifying what somebody else needs or wants in a relationship, but if a woman requires that you earn a certain salary and are willing to disclose it, so be it. If this is a problem for you, move on.
Stung Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 I never put up a salary requirement, but I did set up preferences for education--although I ended up marrying outside them . I suppose it's possible some of these women think controlling for income will give indication as to education, ambition, and perhaps overall 'class' compatibility level, but it does seem kind of awkward and I'm sure there are some cases where it's at least borderline gold-diggery. I don't see anything wrong with your writing back to ask why they include it in their criteria as long as you're not overly rude about it, it seems to be working well for you as a screening mechanism.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 Sucks to be reduced to a number, doesn't it? Just imagine the salary requirements of the "perfect 10".
MrNate Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 Sucks to be reduced to a number, doesn't it? Just imagine the salary requirements of the "perfect 10". Wow, Ruby. Great point.
Woggle Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 Be glad they are letting you know up front what they are really about. Most of the ones who demand the sun, moon and stars bring very little to the table themselves and I am not just talking about money. They are pretty much grown up versions of the teenagers you see on that sweet 16 show. They never got past the I want my pony stage.
Stung Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 Sucks to be reduced to a number, doesn't it? Just imagine the salary requirements of the "perfect 10". Hahahahahaha
musemaj11 Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 I think u can't really compare liking beauty n liking money. When someone likes u because u r attractive, that person still likes u because of u. On the other hand, money is something external. Your attraction is not for the person.
TheBigQuestion Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 It's obnoxious and arrogant. Plain and simple. Be glad that they're forthcoming enough so you won't have to waste any more time with such idiots.
phillyfan Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 You see this all the time... Women put on their requirements a minimum salary for the guy. It irks me n/9 it's like they are looking for a sugar daddy, especially when they don't list their career nor salary range. I personally don't put my salary, but I consider my $$ to be comfortable. I understand when a woman puts salary requirments b/c she has a high salary as well, has an advanced career, etc. And would be someone I would be interested in since our tax brackets would be in the same range, and I don't want to date someone making min wage either. So last night I decided to be a d.ick, a polite d.ick lol I saw three profiles which I loved, but had salary requiremnts and no indication on their career or salary. So I sent them similar emails (eached geared to their specific profiles, but ended each email similarly. Something like "I see you require a minimum salary. What do you bring to the table and what do I het for said salary? Another one I sent, "I see you have a salary range you looking for, well so do I. Are we disclosing financials on our first meeting"? Are you ready? I got two responses within the hour and another this am lol. One explained why and told me her career, so it was friendly and their might be life there. The second one that responded was as sarcastic as I was lol and said "I'm an executive and d salary is for me to know ...m..l lol I didn't write this one back And the third, I have to read her response. Other than the reason that a woman wants someone in their same tax bracket, why make it so obvious they are lookiong for someone with $$$? Dude, the girls are asked the question, they didnt make up the category themself so theyre gonna respond. So what do u think theyre gonna say? 'I prefer broke'? LOL. Who cares what they say, its a tick box, of course theyll go for higher if given a choice, who wouldnt. Just ignore it and dont take it so serious. I use the online dating and its pretty cool, I couldnt give a crap what the lady asks for salary wise, she gets me and thats that take it or leave it
Engadget Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 Yeah that bothers me, although plenty on LS will defend the ladies who do that. I have no requirements when I date, so people who want all these specific things and I do not jive. If I find someone attractive, I find them attractive. They don't have to be a certain height, weight, race, hair color or make X number of dollars. Especially the people who need people to be college educated, that just gets me to laugh.
Author alexlakeman Posted November 30, 2010 Author Posted November 30, 2010 Yeah that bothers me, although plenty on LS will defend the ladies who do that. I have no requirements when I date, so people who want all these specific things and I do not jive. If I find someone attractive, I find them attractive. They don't have to be a certain height, weight, race, hair color or make X number of dollars. Especially the people who need people to be college educated, that just gets me to laugh. Well the college educated piece is a whole other story. Personally I strongly prefer a woman with equal or near equal education as myself, although I've dated long term more than one woman with only a HS diploma.
Stung Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 Especially the people who need people to be college educated, that just gets me to laugh. In the case of a website tick box, it's usually a preference, not a NEED, IMO. I ticked off that I preferred a man with a college education, because in my experience I have usually gotten along better with people who favored intellectual pursuits. That didn't mean I ruled out everyone without a college degree no matter what their interests and personal accomplishments were, far from it. I also never held out that a higher education was a magical ticket into my pants, it was just one possible indicator that I did look at. I met my husband online, and he was a HS dropout. He's one of the smartest men I know and an acknowledged expert in his challenging and fairly rarified field--but he's really more the exception, than the rule.
Art_Critic Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 Other than the reason that a woman wants someone in their same tax bracket, why make it so obvious they are lookiong for someone with $$$? Are you not dating thru pictures, looking for the hotties first ? Well.. being superficial comes in all shapes and sizes. I get where you're coming from though.. to me the only thing I think is appropriate regarding a job is whether or not you have one. I do know there are women out there who would rather not waste their time with a guy who only makes say 35k when the idea to marriage and kids is that there will be a time where the woman won't work.. so how are 3 people supposed to get by on 35k.. I'm advocating neither.. just mentioning there are women out there who are looking to not marry down.
irc333 Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 This is a golden rule for anything and anyone, basic common sense (if you don't want yourself robbed or cleaned out) NEVER reveal your financial information to ANYONE, this goes beyond just dating sites. It's a GOLDEN rule when it comes to that kind of thing, and in this day and age where I.D. Theft is on the rise and people attempting to scam people....it's best to keep that part of your life hush-hush.
musemaj11 Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Are you not dating thru pictures, looking for the hotties first ? Well.. being superficial comes in all shapes and sizes. I get where you're coming from though.. to me the only thing I think is appropriate regarding a job is whether or not you have one. I do know there are women out there who would rather not waste their time with a guy who only makes say 35k when the idea to marriage and kids is that there will be a time where the woman won't work.. so how are 3 people supposed to get by on 35k.. I'm advocating neither.. just mentioning there are women out there who are looking to not marry down. Maybe save money together first before breeding?
zengirl Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 It's their choice and you don't get to decide what's important to them. For instance, I don't want to date fat women. I'm sure that makes me a horrible person in some womens' eyes, but I know myself well-enough to know that I won't be attracted to someone that isn't smaller than me. I don't think any of us should have to justify what we find attractive. Pretty much with this. I actually prefer guys who don't list how much money they make, but I also prefer them educated, so they generally make at least enough to get by well enough. As do I. It's hard to find people who are educated, doing well enough, and not materialistic, but I endeavor to---and have at the moment. But let people care about what they care about. Just don't date anyone whose preferences offend you. That's part of the function of listing it. Sucks to be reduced to a number, doesn't it? Just imagine the salary requirements of the "perfect 10". Excellent point. Yeah that bothers me, although plenty on LS will defend the ladies who do that. I have no requirements when I date, so people who want all these specific things and I do not jive. If I find someone attractive, I find them attractive. They don't have to be a certain height, weight, race, hair color or make X number of dollars. Especially the people who need people to be college educated, that just gets me to laugh. Personally, a college degree is something I look for very strongly. I cannot imagine dating a man my age (midtwenties, and I prefer to date close to my age, though my boyfriend will be 30 soon) who did not have a college degree and prioritize education. I came from a dirt poor working class family, and I was the first in my family to get a degree. I earned it through scholarships and worked my way through school. I killed myself in advertising for 2 years to save up for my graduate degree in Education, so I could become a teacher with no debt and hold a graduate degree. I expect anyone I marry -- and I date to marry at this age -- to have similar priorities, and there is just no excuse for not getting a college degree in this day and age if you're smart enough (a requirement for me!) and you want one and work hard for what you want (a requirement for me!). You can have a laugh at that if you want, but part of what's important in building a life together, having a family, and laying the foundation for a marriage are having common priorities. Education has always been mine. Not so much money, so I don't give 2 figs about money. Education and ambition are something I look for, though, as well as service and intelligence. Difficult to find, I'll say that, but I've gotten lucky.
musemaj11 Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 (edited) The fact that women will always find an excuse to choose a richer man makes me think that Equal Opportunity is the most socially unfair institution for men. I say women should be barred from well-paying jobs. This reason alone is why I will never vote for Equal Pay. Men should get more pay because they will always be the ones expected to provide. when a woman marries, she will give up her job as soon as she becomes a mother. A man who marries and becomes a father turns into an even more reliable employee. If the applicant is already married, then the employer's choice is even easier, since he knows that the man's pay cheque will almost certainly support more than one person, hence be twice as necessary. The single woman supports, at most, herself. From the employer's point of view, it is more humane to give the job to the man. The `woman with a family' - the woman who supports a healthy man and his children all her life - is practically unknown in the professional world. - Esther Vilar These days, there are exceptions. However, in general this is how it works everywhere in the world. Edited December 1, 2010 by musemaj11
Stung Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 The fact that women will always find an excuse to choose a richer man makes me think that Equal Opportunity is the most socially unfair institution for men. I say women should be barred from well-paying jobs. This reason alone is why I will never vote for Equal Pay. Men should get more pay because they will always be the ones expected to provide. These days, there are exceptions. However, in general this is how it works everywhere in the world. Interesting social policy. You do know that in the US far more women go back to work after having children than stay home, don't you? And what would you propose for single mothers trying to support their families by themselves?
musemaj11 Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 And what would you propose for single mothers trying to support their families by themselves? Find a husband as how it had always been done since stone age? You do know that in the US far more women go back to work after having children than stay home, don't you? Still the argument is that they picked men who earn more nonetheless.
zengirl Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Find a husband as how it had always been done since stone age? Still the argument is that they picked men who earn more nonetheless. Then your policy only works if men are duty bound to marry or if only married men get high paying jobs. We've evolved from the point where people as a whole think like you, luckily.
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