Author 9Lives Posted November 30, 2010 Author Posted November 30, 2010 Well, like I said, he said she is just a friend and they vent to eachother.. but why would he tell her he was sleeping when he was with me? And why would he go straight to her and lie to me about it? Uhh, guess I don't need to ask. I just hope he tries to contact me so I can ignore him. I know that sounds dumb. alisa, Im the last one to get on anybody cause i have made mistakes I wish I could take back but I have done some good things to. We come on here to be transparent. Something we cant do with our friends, family, or ex alot of the time. So Im gonna keep it real with you so you can grow. He is using you and you are letting him. he dont mean you any good even tho it is hard to belive. I know how that is. I lived it. Does his girlfriend know about you? Are you his little secret? Another thing is that you are better than this. You are the Queen and you are screwing a frog. Let that frog go and get a Prince. Its hard girl. I know how hard it is but I had to make the decision...I had to do it. He would still be giving me crumbs and doing whateve he wants. I made the decision. I told him to stop texting me. I hurt and still do but I know that Im doing the right thing. He needed to be gone
Gt.ooh Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 I would say it only keeps you in a rut if you read some of the bad posts...I've found that once you reach a certain stage I mainly stay in the second chances, and coping forums. I'll hit the break up forum to give advice here and there, but I'm crawling to my indifference stage, and the coping forum I visit every day.
AlisaMarie Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 alisa, Im the last one to get on anybody cause i have made mistakes I wish I could take back but I have done some good things to. We come on here to be transparent. Something we cant do with our friends, family, or ex alot of the time. So Im gonna keep it real with you so you can grow. He is using you and you are letting him. he dont mean you any good even tho it is hard to belive. I know how that is. I lived it. Does his girlfriend know about you? Are you his little secret? Another thing is that you are better than this. You are the Queen and you are screwing a frog. Let that frog go and get a Prince. Its hard girl. I know how hard it is but I had to make the decision...I had to do it. He would still be giving me crumbs and doing whateve he wants. I made the decision. I told him to stop texting me. I hurt and still do but I know that Im doing the right thing. He needed to be gone It was because of her that we got back together one time. She gave him advice. But I think they got closer and closer, he pushed me away and she got rid of her man... and now they are really good friends. HA. So she knows of me... but I am sure she was told a bunch of lies and drama... and I am sure she has no clue of the meetings we had with eachother. Like I said, he told her he was sleeping while he was with me. Why? Hmmm, I am not that dumb. That's why I am trying so hard. That's why it hurts so much. I know in our past breaks he prob messed around and hung out with other girls, but the fact that this one and him are so close is really hurting me. I'd rather him eff a bunch of skanks than fall in love with another. errrrrrrrr.
poorguy Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 I just thought of something........How much thread got off topic lol, but you know why it did-because everyone wants to help the other out!!!!
Author 9Lives Posted November 30, 2010 Author Posted November 30, 2010 It was because of her that we got back together one time. She gave him advice. But I think they got closer and closer, he pushed me away and she got rid of her man... and now they are really good friends. HA. So she knows of me... but I am sure she was told a bunch of lies and drama... and I am sure she has no clue of the meetings we had with eachother. Like I said, he told her he was sleeping while he was with me. Why? Hmmm, I am not that dumb. That's why I am trying so hard. That's why it hurts so much. I know in our past breaks he prob messed around and hung out with other girls, but the fact that this one and him are so close is really hurting me. I'd rather him eff a bunch of skanks than fall in love with another. errrrrrrrr. damm, I know what you feeling but at the end of the day, we cant do a thing about it except stop him from mistreating us. he is a player. he is going to play her too. But its the strong woman that wins. Not the weak and wimpy one. Just put your foot down. Dont be a bitch about it. Just be like look, Im not going to be your little secret. let him know, Im not accepting you being with me and her. Im not your sounding board. Im not your friend. I was your lover and your woman. Not the chicken head. Maybe later you can be friends but I would say right now, you need to get away from him.
Author 9Lives Posted November 30, 2010 Author Posted November 30, 2010 I just thought of something........How much thread got off topic lol, but you know why it did-because everyone wants to help the other out!!!! yeah you right but Alisa needs guidance and support right now so its okay
AlisaMarie Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 I do... I know what I have to do... but it's not what my heart is crying for. I am doing well right now. I am working on some school stuff, and even though the dishes and laundry are piling, I know I am making some progress. Thank you for going off topic to see me through.
Author 9Lives Posted November 30, 2010 Author Posted November 30, 2010 I do... I know what I have to do... but it's not what my heart is crying for. I am doing well right now. I am working on some school stuff, and even though the dishes and laundry are piling, I know I am making some progress. Thank you for going off topic to see me through. No problem. Self love is highly important!! Respect is more important than love especially when deal with a man. Men want to respect their woman but if they can take us for granted...GAME ON!! It is always up to us
cerridwen Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 Good thread 9Lives. This has been on my mind a lot because I'm having such difficulty with NC--whereas I haven't in past breakups. I've been wondering if being on LS too much is actually delaying my progress. In the past, what really, really worked was venting, then moving to the stage of forbidding myself to even THINK about him. The SECOND a thought started to enter my mind, I'd stop it. Heard of aversion therapy? I tried a poor man's version and would keep a rubber band on my wrist which I'd snap the second I started thinking of him. After a bit, I took it off and just got into the habit of stopping the thought at the gate. This helped me stick to NC, helped me retain mental energy for work, and helped me heal in 2 months. Oh, and he did come begging back. I was so not interested. Perhaps a break may be helpful to you. Would miss your presence but would be happy if it meant progress for you
AlisaMarie Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 Good thread 9Lives. This has been on my mind a lot because I'm having such difficulty with NC--whereas I haven't in past breakups. I've been wondering if being on LS too much is actually delaying my progress. In the past, what really, really worked was venting, then moving to the stage of forbidding myself to even THINK about him. The SECOND a thought started to enter my mind, I'd stop it. Heard of aversion therapy? I tried a poor man's version and would keep a rubber band on my wrist which I'd snap the second I started thinking of him. After a bit, I took it off and just got into the habit of stopping the thought at the gate. This helped me stick to NC, helped me retain mental energy for work, and helped me heal in 2 months. Oh, and he did come begging back. I was so not interested. Perhaps a break may be helpful to you. Would miss your presence but would be happy if it meant progress for you Hi cerridwen! Don't you love how a simple thread turned into me getting some online therapy? I really like that idea with a rubber band. Funny, there was one on my counter today and I threw it away. Was that a sign? 9lives is not leaving this site yet! She's stuck with us for now. I have to say that this thread and all of the discussions that came from it helped me get through this morning and afternoon. Thank you guys.
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