What gives?

December 4, 2010

You probably aren't old enough to remember a world before voice mail and when phones had that funny bell that rung. You'd call and it would ring and ring and ring until you finally gave up.

Sometimes no answer is an answer. No one's home or interested in talking. Sometimes it was because we kids would keep asking for Prince Albert in a can

December 4, 2010

You probably aren't old enough to remember a world before voice mail and when phones had that funny bell that rung. You'd call and it would ring and ring and ring until you finally gave up.

Sometimes no answer is an answer. No one's home or interested in talking. Sometimes it was because we kids would keep asking for Prince Albert in a can

Man...you're so right. I've tried seeing other women, but this one is plaguing my mind. Every day it's a battle not to contact her, and somehow salvage what we had. Sigh...I gotta get over this ASAP. Just wish I could stop getting my hopes up that one day maybe she'll call me, and I'll respond, and that it would all magically lead to a date and things would go back to how they used to be. But I know all that bull**** is for the birds, she's probably getting slammed by some new guy.

**** like this makes me want to take a hiatus from the dating game....and just lock away my heart. Cause I always end up opening it for the wrong women...

December 4, 2010

Man, if you want a crash course in handling endings, just fast forward to divorce. After that, no ending will ever really matter the same way again, IME. Of course, relationships and love still matter, but, once one has 'been there', it's just another process. That's why my exW had such an easy time of it, having have two D's prior. It was just a process to her, like a business deal.

BTW, Prince Albert related to annoying little interruptions which don't endear the caller to the called. I hope you can relate to the inference. It's one potential of how the lady might perceive your otherwise good intentions.

December 4, 2010

Sheesh, what do you recommend Carhill?

December 4, 2010

Spending some quality alone time, as well as time with friends, during this holiday season. This will be my second Christmas 'alone'. Perhaps one has to truly accept alone before one can properly value the gift of companionship one offers to those one chooses to love. Don't underestimate value, especially your own.

December 4, 2010

So I totally went against the majority's input and decided to shoot her a "what's up?" text this morning. No reply? Done dada. If she replies, I'm going to try and coerce her into sharing a drink with me.

December 4, 2010

She responded several hours later to my text - "Nothing much...Same old same old...how have you been?!"

I responded with "Everything's cool over here, taking this marathon to success a day at a time heh..how's life? what you getting into tonight? feelin' mad hype"

December 4, 2010

What are you doing man seriously?? what are you doing? You should be running to the hills about now. from everything youve read it just sounds terrible she sounds terrible. At this point i would just blame your self esteem as well as limited experience at 23 Your gonna realize at some point its either on or its not and as a man as much as possible logic should win. I know its hard and your definately not gonna bat 1000 but let women deal with emotions you stick with logic..

Best your gonna get is some responses from text maybe some phone time hell maybe if you hit the lottery youll get laid. But bottm line You should already be feeling a severe Heartbreak coming on and your doing it to yourself..

Should definately move on... Your headed the wrong way..

December 4, 2010

Congrats, she knows she can use you when and how she wants. You've made that perfectly clear to all of us AND to her--and that is what she is going to do to you! Rekindle what you guys had?! What did you have? You haven't given a good answer to that--the "feeling" is completely one sided. She doesn't feel it and that is obvious.

And, what does she have over all these other girls you talk to/date? You've already said that this chick is a cheater and an animal abuser. Gosh, be still my heart I mean my goodness, this girl could not be more transparent. She isn't interested in you unless she needs an ego-boost. Please quit talking to her, you have NOTHING to gain.

What are you hoping to achieve? Do you want a relationship with her?

December 4, 2010

So I totally went against the majority's input and decided to shoot her a "what's up?" text this morning. No reply? Done dada. If she replies, I'm going to try and coerce her into sharing a drink with me.

LOL OKAY. So you "coerce" her into getting a drink with you? Then what? You want a girl you have to convince to hang out w/ you?!

December 5, 2010

She actually called me, but I was in the shower getting ready to go out. So I called her back, she sounded pretty happy to hear from me. Told me how busy she's been studying for her finals. She wanted to hit up the club with me, I told her that had she replied earlier yeah, but I have other plans for the night. She sounded astonished, and then proceeded to ask what I had planned for the night. I kept it mysterious, said I'm going out with a couple friends. She wants to hang out today..while she was talking I said I had to run and that I'll hit her up and see how her studying is going, and we can plan from there.

To blow her off or to follow up on my word?

December 5, 2010

I've been seeing this wonderful young lady for about 2 months now. A month and a half in we made it official, decided to put a label on things.

This is very important - who put the label on things? You or her? If you did then its no wonder it went south.

A week after that we got into an argument, and by her call, we decided to not label things, and feel each other out more, take it slow.

All those arguments you had (based on what you said they were about) showed your insecurities which is an attraction killer for a woman. Every one of those arguments made her like you less. Despite what you read on this board by bitter men, women want to HAVE FUN WITH MEN. They DO NOT want to argue with an insecure guy about what she can and cant do and who she can and cant see and what she can and cant say.

Not only that, but after she didn't want to put a label on things it meant she was losing her attraction for you. What you should have done is pull back at this point and let her miss you. Instead you did the EXACT opposite.

Now things are very different. She's been...distant to say the least. Last time I saw her was Tuesday. That night I went over to her house, sat and talked with her, held her, kissed her, etc..everything was normal. Then Wednesday, around lunch time I hit her up, told her after work I was free that night, we should do something....no reply.

This is where you screwed up. After this you should have had some self-control and waited for her to contact you. Theres nothing like someone messaging you multiple times over and over when you don't reply to make them seem like a pest.

Ok cool, I figured she was busy. Thursday, Thanksgiving, rolls by, we initially had plans for me to have dinner with her family. Around 6pm, I sent her a Happy Thanksgiving text (didn't hear from her prior to that). She replied, we shared maybe 3 texts over all. She told me she was watching a movie with her mother. I replied cool, hit me up when it's over....she never did.

If you had to message her because of your plans it should have just been "what time should I come for dinner?"

Avoid endless texting and talking on the phone - it also kills attraction. Why should she "hit you up" after the movie? To check in with you? Either make plans with her or go do something else with your valuable time. Not wait by the phone for her call when she finishes a movie.

Black Friday rolls around, we both work retail. So I knew we'd be super busy. I hit her up around lunch time, let her know when I was getting off, same ol same ol, let's do something..I ended up getting off around 1 am, didn't get a single text from her...so I said "**** that, I'm calling her"

I called her, it rang, it rang, it rang, it rang, it rang, finally she picked up. Told me she just got off of work, I offered her a ride to her house since I was heading that way, she declined..told me she'd hit me up when she got home (15 minutes away)..hour goes by, she finally hits me back.

We share some texts, she told me she's been super super busy lately, I replied yeah I see that. She asked me what's up? I told her I wanted to talk to her and that I'd rather talk about it in person (This is Friday night mind you). So I said let's hit the beach, dinner on me, we can talk there. Her reply? I'm sooo busy tomorrow. Me? Ok. What about Sunday? Drive thru movie, on me. Her reply? Aaah I would but I'm gonna be really busy.

You are in total free-fall here. Can't you take a hint? She started feeling a little smothered by you and decided to pull back a little bit. Instead of responding by doing your own thing and letting her miss you and wonder about you - you completely chased after her and overwhelmed her like a desperate school-boy with a massive crush.

After that I proceeded to get very high with a couple of my friends, in an attempt to smoke my frustration away, it only made me ponder on the situation at hand some more. I ended up sending her texts, laying everything down on the line. Telling her how much I like her company, and if she wants me to disappear or see other guys, then just let me know and I'll be gone..etc.

Jesus Christ. You took what very little attraction she may have had left for you and crushed it over and over again. You sound completely desperate. If a girl I dated acted like you did I would be running as fast as possible. The funny thing is - you think there is something wrong with her, that she gave you red flags that you ignored - but in reality, everyone of your behaviors was a massive red flag to her which is why she ran away from you. Its really no different from your last relationship which the same thing happened there. Why didnt you take my advice? Its too bad because it sounds like you have alot of potential but you just don't really understand women that well. If you had been writing your problems on the board I recommended to you instead of this one things may have turned out differently.

December 6, 2010

This is very important - who put the label on things? You or her? If you did then its no wonder it went south.

All those arguments you had (based on what you said they were about) showed your insecurities which is an attraction killer for a woman. Every one of those arguments made her like you less. Despite what you read on this board by bitter men, women want to HAVE FUN WITH MEN. They DO NOT want to argue with an insecure guy about what she can and cant do and who she can and cant see and what she can and cant say.

Not only that, but after she didn't want to put a label on things it meant she was losing her attraction for you. What you should have done is pull back at this point and let her miss you. Instead you did the EXACT opposite.

This is where you screwed up. After this you should have had some self-control and waited for her to contact you. Theres nothing like someone messaging you multiple times over and over when you don't reply to make them seem like a pest.

If you had to message her because of your plans it should have just been "what time should I come for dinner?"

Avoid endless texting and talking on the phone - it also kills attraction. Why should she "hit you up" after the movie? To check in with you? Either make plans with her or go do something else with your valuable time. Not wait by the phone for her call when she finishes a movie.

You are in total free-fall here. Can't you take a hint? She started feeling a little smothered by you and decided to pull back a little bit. Instead of responding by doing your own thing and letting her miss you and wonder about you - you completely chased after her and overwhelmed her like a desperate school-boy with a massive crush.

Jesus Christ. You took what very little attraction she may have had left for you and crushed it over and over again. You sound completely desperate. If a girl I dated acted like you did I would be running as fast as possible. The funny thing is - you think there is something wrong with her, that she gave you red flags that you ignored - but in reality, everyone of your behaviors was a massive red flag to her which is why she ran away from you. Its really no different from your last relationship which the same thing happened there. Why didnt you take my advice? Its too bad because it sounds like you have alot of potential but you just don't really understand women that well. If you had been writing your problems on the board I recommended to you instead of this one things may have turned out differently.

While I've mentioned before (I think), I appreciate your help but that Pick Up Artist board that you've recommended, it's not for me.

I know how to run game on women, and I CHOOSE not to do so..because there's no point. What would I want with a woman I have to run game/PuA mind **** tricks on?

I'd rather have something worth my while. Something honest, and straight forward. Hardly think I came off as desperate and needy.

Like I said, thanks for the helping hand but no thanks. That PuA **** is for landing women not worth my while.

December 7, 2010

She actually called me, but I was in the shower getting ready to go out. So I called her back, she sounded pretty happy to hear from me. Told me how busy she's been studying for her finals. She wanted to hit up the club with me, I told her that had she replied earlier yeah, but I have other plans for the night. She sounded astonished, and then proceeded to ask what I had planned for the night. I kept it mysterious, said I'm going out with a couple friends. She wants to hang out today..while she was talking I said I had to run and that I'll hit her up and see how her studying is going, and we can plan from there.

To blow her off or to follow up on my word?

I decided to stick to my word, I hit her up WELL into the following day. When she replied, I'd just reply when I got around to things, so about an hour in between each text.

She asked what I was up to, and I told her I was at the house chillin' out (it was a cold Sunday night). I invited her for some yogurt. She sounded thoroughly interested but declined because it was too cold outside. I replied with a text asking if she wanted to catch some ice cream and an On-Demand movie..but the way I wrote the text, it looked as if I was just saying what I was currently doing. She didn't reply back.

I'm not really reading into it a whole bunch, it is finals week, and she told me she's swamped in studying (finals this week, I'm cramming myself :S). I'm gonna keep it NC until Thursday night to invite her out to the dance floor Fri night. Would love to engage in at least one more sexual act with her before we go full blown NC, or before she's romantically interested in another guy... lol, the sex was very good.

Thoughts?

December 7, 2010

I've been seeing this wonderful young lady for about 2 months now. A month and a half in we made it official, decided to put a label on things. A week after that we got into an argument, and by her call, we decided to not label things, and feel each other out more, take it slow.

Everything was going well. The physical attraction, when we hung out, everything just flowed. We'd schedule our dates for the weekend on the weeked prior, everything was golden lol..

Now things are very different. She's been...distant to say the least. Last time I saw her was Tuesday. That night I went over to her house, sat and talked with her, held her, kissed her, etc..everything was normal. Then Wednesday, around lunch time I hit her up, told her after work I was free that night, we should do something....no reply. Ok cool, I figured she was busy. Thursday, Thanksgiving, rolls by, we initially had plans for me to have dinner with her family. Around 6pm, I sent her a Happy Thanksgiving text (didn't hear from her prior to that). She replied, we shared maybe 3 texts over all. She told me she was watching a movie with her mother. I replied cool, hit me up when it's over....she never did.

So at this point, I'm thinking...what the hell man. Even if I were this busy, I'd at least send a text you know? Let someone I've been involved with for 2 months know I'm alive lol...

Black Friday rolls around, we both work retail. So I knew we'd be super busy. I hit her up around lunch time, let her know when I was getting off, same ol same ol, let's do something..I ended up getting off around 1 am, didn't get a single text from her...so I said "**** that, I'm calling her"

I called her, it rang, it rang, it rang, it rang, it rang, finally she picked up. Told me she just got off of work, I offered her a ride to her house since I was heading that way, she declined..told me she'd hit me up when she got home (15 minutes away)..hour goes by, she finally hits me back.

We share some texts, she told me she's been super super busy lately, I replied yeah I see that. She asked me what's up? I told her I wanted to talk to her and that I'd rather talk about it in person (This is Friday night mind you). So I said let's hit the beach, dinner on me, we can talk there. Her reply? I'm sooo busy tomorrow. Me? Ok. What about Sunday? Drive thru movie, on me. Her reply? Aaah I would but I'm gonna be really busy.

So then she pushes to see what I wanted to talk about, so I call her. Phone conversation goes as follows:

Me: Hey

Her: What's up?! *male voice in background*

Me: *Noticed male voice, plays it cool* Not much, just wondering how you've been, it's been awhile since I've seen or heard from you.

Her: Yeaaaaah, I knooooow, I've been mad busy lately.

Me: Heh, I noticed, I hit you up a couple times but you didn't reply, I figured you were really busy. How was your Thanksgiving? *wondering why our plans didn't fall through*

Her: It was really good. Mom's dinner was super good. The movie was good. After the movie I went out downtown

Me: *Wtf look on face, but cool* Word? How'd that turnout?

Her: It was ok, I had a good time...

Me: Heh, I thought I was supposed to come over and eat your food. Are you throwing a party or something? Lol *Questioning voices in background*

Her: Oh, I'm watching Twilight *voices disappear* What did you want to talk about?

Me: You know, I've noticed how...indifferent, distant, you've been lately. Is everything alright?

Her: Yeah, you know, I didn't think it'd be that big of a deal if you didn't hear from me, sorry...I've been mad busy.

Me: So busy you can party but not return a text? Lol *joking tone of voice*

Her: Oh....well....you know, I just want to be cool, take things slow. With me it takes like 6 months to get serious with someone, remember? No labels?

Me: Yeah, of course, understandable. Besides, I thought that's what we were doing? Just having fun, no labels, till the wheels fall off type of deal.

Her: Yeah...but you know, in my experience, the way things have been going for us, after our arguments, I can tell that in the long run it won't last. Our personalities bump heads.

Me: I don't think so. I mean, we really enjoy ourselves together. Arguments are a natural part of any relationship, they're gonna happen. We handled the arguments well you know? Why let these bumps in the road shake you up?

Her: It's just what I know...I know from experience how things are gonna play out.

Me: So what exactly are you trying to say here? You're distancing yourself from me so I slowly get the hint and disappear type of deal, you want to keep your options open? What's up?

Her: We can still be cool and hang out, I just don't think we should label things...it's not like I'm trying to ignore you, I've just been really busy with work, and school lately.

Me: Alright then, see you when I see/hear from you I guess.

After that I proceeded to get very high with a couple of my friends, in an attempt to smoke my frustration away, it only made me ponder on the situation at hand some more. I ended up sending her texts, laying everything down on the line. Telling her how much I like her company, and if she wants me to disappear or see other guys, then just let me know and I'll be gone..etc.

She replied the next morning with the hardest to read text I've ever received -

"I'm sorry but I'm only going to repeat myself."

After that I had it. I don't know how to decipher this female code language lol, so in what I thought was best for me at the time, I deleted her number.

I like her, and I can feel my emotions starting to get involved. But if her heart's not in it like mine, I have to protect myself. All of that last bit was Friday night, it is now Tuesday morning and I haven't heard from her.

I really don't know what's going on. All I know is that she's "busy". But I can feel her indifference towards me. A couple friends, male and female told me she's keeping her options open. May be, but she would've told me. She's always been very honest with me, a no nonsense type of girl.

So as of right now, I'm back on the market..and playing the field. I already have two girls I'm talking to/involved with but to be honest, I only want her...and even though I'm fooling myself thinking I don't care that she's gone, I really do..cause I like her and want her to be mine. :S

Dunno how to read what's going on. Any and all help would be appreciated.

Dude even I can read her - she told u strait up black and white repeatedly that she isnt in to u anymore, read her words, she cudnt be clearer, she dont want to date u. Sorry dude

December 8, 2010

Managed to set up a date with her. She seems genuinely enthused about seeing me.

December 11, 2010

So, we had a date set for 7:30 tonight. She called me earlier but I was at work, so I told her I'd call her later. I called her on a 15 around 3 P.M., she picked up and said she's gonna try to catch up on some sleep.

So I get off of work at 5:30, I get a text from her around 5:40 and it reads exactly this:

"Hey cutie..I don't think I'm up for tonight..I'm mad tired."

I replied "Yeah? Not up for even an On-Demand movie and kick back?" (We used to do this all the time).

She replied "Rain check...I feel exhausted."

You can imagine I'm pretty fed up with the bull**** and being blown off by now, so I reply with:

"Rain check?..Not my style. You have my #, so you know what to do..if not, then it is what it is cutie"

She replied with "Lmao...ok".

So now she's on my don't contact list. This is her moment to shine or fail. I do believe she'll hit me up, probably a couple weeks from now. In between this flake and when we set the date, she'd text me, and call me. So maybe her interest is picking up? Who knows. I don't even care anymore.

At this point, I just want to **** her brains out one good time and treat her like the plague ie. never contacting her again.

December 11, 2010

Sex with you is the last thing she wants right now, seriously.

She could have been more open if you suggested going out and doing something. Going to your home = sex and if she is on the fence about your R, as a girl - she wants to so something less involved.

Truthfully though, you are beating up the dead horse.

Put down the bat and let the horse RIP.

Edited December 11, 2010 by OceanGirl

December 11, 2010

I've been seeing this wonderful young lady for about 2 months now. A month and a half in we made it official, decided to put a label on things. A week after that we got into an argument, and by her call, we decided to not label things, and feel each other out more, take it slow.

Everything was going well. The physical attraction, when we hung out, everything just flowed. We'd schedule our dates for the weekend on the weeked prior, everything was golden lol..

Now things are very different. She's been...distant to say the least. Last time I saw her was Tuesday. That night I went over to her house, sat and talked with her, held her, kissed her, etc..everything was normal. Then Wednesday, around lunch time I hit her up, told her after work I was free that night, we should do something....no reply. Ok cool, I figured she was busy. Thursday, Thanksgiving, rolls by, we initially had plans for me to have dinner with her family. Around 6pm, I sent her a Happy Thanksgiving text (didn't hear from her prior to that). She replied, we shared maybe 3 texts over all. She told me she was watching a movie with her mother. I replied cool, hit me up when it's over....she never did.

So at this point, I'm thinking...what the hell man. Even if I were this busy, I'd at least send a text you know? Let someone I've been involved with for 2 months know I'm alive lol...

Black Friday rolls around, we both work retail. So I knew we'd be super busy. I hit her up around lunch time, let her know when I was getting off, same ol same ol, let's do something..I ended up getting off around 1 am, didn't get a single text from her...so I said "**** that, I'm calling her"

I called her, it rang, it rang, it rang, it rang, it rang, finally she picked up. Told me she just got off of work, I offered her a ride to her house since I was heading that way, she declined..told me she'd hit me up when she got home (15 minutes away)..hour goes by, she finally hits me back.

We share some texts, she told me she's been super super busy lately, I replied yeah I see that. She asked me what's up? I told her I wanted to talk to her and that I'd rather talk about it in person (This is Friday night mind you). So I said let's hit the beach, dinner on me, we can talk there. Her reply? I'm sooo busy tomorrow. Me? Ok. What about Sunday? Drive thru movie, on me. Her reply? Aaah I would but I'm gonna be really busy.

So then she pushes to see what I wanted to talk about, so I call her. Phone conversation goes as follows:

Me: Hey

Her: What's up?! *male voice in background*

Me: *Noticed male voice, plays it cool* Not much, just wondering how you've been, it's been awhile since I've seen or heard from you.

Her: Yeaaaaah, I knooooow, I've been mad busy lately.

Me: Heh, I noticed, I hit you up a couple times but you didn't reply, I figured you were really busy. How was your Thanksgiving? *wondering why our plans didn't fall through*

Her: It was really good. Mom's dinner was super good. The movie was good. After the movie I went out downtown

Me: *Wtf look on face, but cool* Word? How'd that turnout?

Her: It was ok, I had a good time...

Me: Heh, I thought I was supposed to come over and eat your food. Are you throwing a party or something? Lol *Questioning voices in background*

Her: Oh, I'm watching Twilight *voices disappear* What did you want to talk about?

Me: You know, I've noticed how...indifferent, distant, you've been lately. Is everything alright?

Her: Yeah, you know, I didn't think it'd be that big of a deal if you didn't hear from me, sorry...I've been mad busy.

Me: So busy you can party but not return a text? Lol *joking tone of voice*

Her: Oh....well....you know, I just want to be cool, take things slow. With me it takes like 6 months to get serious with someone, remember? No labels?

Me: Yeah, of course, understandable. Besides, I thought that's what we were doing? Just having fun, no labels, till the wheels fall off type of deal.

Her: Yeah...but you know, in my experience, the way things have been going for us, after our arguments, I can tell that in the long run it won't last. Our personalities bump heads.

Me: I don't think so. I mean, we really enjoy ourselves together. Arguments are a natural part of any relationship, they're gonna happen. We handled the arguments well you know? Why let these bumps in the road shake you up?

Her: It's just what I know...I know from experience how things are gonna play out.

Me: So what exactly are you trying to say here? You're distancing yourself from me so I slowly get the hint and disappear type of deal, you want to keep your options open? What's up?

Her: We can still be cool and hang out, I just don't think we should label things...it's not like I'm trying to ignore you, I've just been really busy with work, and school lately.

Me: Alright then, see you when I see/hear from you I guess.

After that I proceeded to get very high with a couple of my friends, in an attempt to smoke my frustration away, it only made me ponder on the situation at hand some more. I ended up sending her texts, laying everything down on the line. Telling her how much I like her company, and if she wants me to disappear or see other guys, then just let me know and I'll be gone..etc.

She replied the next morning with the hardest to read text I've ever received -

"I'm sorry but I'm only going to repeat myself."

After that I had it. I don't know how to decipher this female code language lol, so in what I thought was best for me at the time, I deleted her number.

I like her, and I can feel my emotions starting to get involved. But if her heart's not in it like mine, I have to protect myself. All of that last bit was Friday night, it is now Tuesday morning and I haven't heard from her.

I really don't know what's going on. All I know is that she's "busy". But I can feel her indifference towards me. A couple friends, male and female told me she's keeping her options open. May be, but she would've told me. She's always been very honest with me, a no nonsense type of girl.

So as of right now, I'm back on the market..and playing the field. I already have two girls I'm talking to/involved with but to be honest, I only want her...and even though I'm fooling myself thinking I don't care that she's gone, I really do..cause I like her and want her to be mine. :S

Dunno how to read what's going on. Any and all help would be appreciated.

So, I'm just going to guess here that this was one of those moments where the main drawing point is her looks. No judgement, but this is the kind of thing that happens when you buy the car before checking to see what is under the hood.

On that note, she does not seem to be interested. It seems like all of her blowing you off, was just her way of checking out. It was still kind of a ****ty thing to do though. I mean, she could have been honest with you instead of the "I'm so busy" scenario.

It was pretty thoughtless of her to go out amidst blowing off your plans together.

December 14, 2010

Appreciate the feedback. Finally just leaving it alone. I have about 6 other options I'll be exploring, if you will, over my Winter Break from school. If for some reason she manages to get in contact with me, I will be responsive, but not too available.

December 14, 2010

nah never mind

Edited December 14, 2010 by lamaman3
if you don't want advice I won't give it

December 14, 2010

nah never mind

Appreciate the time you took to give advice though. At this point, everything is in her court, as I intended to leave it. Basically wanted her to realize that if she wants me, she'll have to come after it because a guy like me isn't going to keep chasing after her, so she'll either be straight up, hit me up, or don't. Either of those three choices will let me know what the deal is.

IF she manages to find her way back, I have that site on standby lol..so I guess that'll put a smile on your face Iamaman3.

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