What do you do when you are depressed? How do you get out of it?

[9Lives]

When Im depressed I noticed that I dont want to go anywhere. I post alot on LS and I surf the net for answers to my pain. I also dont take good care of myself. I dont want to put my make up on or really dress nice. I dont sleep well and I think alot about what is happening.

 

How do i get out of it?

that is the hard part. I really dont know. i guess i force myself to move on and hope to feel better soon. I wish I knew what to do.

[AlisaMarie]

It's so hard. I am in the same position right now. I am in constant need of distractions from myself. I have been neglecting my school work, chores, and myself! Therapy doesn't really help and friends and family keep saying "there are people way worse off than you." Which is true, but that doesn't make me feel better! Misery does NOT love company with this girl. It breaks my heart to hear of other peoples pain, but I am hear because I feel like I can help others while they help me.

 

Only you can remove yourself from the rut that you are in. I can assure you laying around and not taking care of yourself isn't going to help. Sure, have your bad days. Yesterday... I didn't get out of bed or do anything! I chalked it up as one bad day... and I will try to make tomorrow better. I barely slept last night but got up early and I am going to just try to start small getting myself back to normal. I haven't put on make up or took my sweats off in a while... so I know how that feels.

 

I just wish it would all just be better. We can't let a break up kill us. Are they ruining their lives because they miss us? Probably not.

[9Lives]

i think going to the movies can help like doing it all day long

[9Lives]

It's so hard. I am in the same position right now. I am in constant need of distractions from myself. I have been neglecting my school work, chores, and myself! Therapy doesn't really help and friends and family keep saying "there are people way worse off than you." Which is true, but that doesn't make me feel better! Misery does NOT love company with this girl. It breaks my heart to hear of other peoples pain, but I am hear because I feel like I can help others while they help me.

 

Only you can remove yourself from the rut that you are in. I can assure you laying around and not taking care of yourself isn't going to help. Sure, have your bad days. Yesterday... I didn't get out of bed or do anything! I chalked it up as one bad day... and I will try to make tomorrow better. I barely slept last night but got up early and I am going to just try to start small getting myself back to normal. I haven't put on make up or took my sweats off in a while... so I know how that feels.

 

I just wish it would all just be better. We can't let a break up kill us. Are they ruining their lives because they miss us? Probably not.

 

Your right Alisa. Im not very thrilled about being down. I know it takes time and this time, its really taking a longer time that it should. I dont have time for this anyway. What do you do to get out of the rut?

[AlisaMarie]

I am always super strong the first few days of NC with my ex. It's been on and off since we broke up in July. I am only on day 5. I went out my my friends... they yelled at me for being a sucker... but I tried to have fun. Of course I went home alone, and crying. So right now I am in a rut. I have found that the only way I ever get over an ex is to find someone new, and better than the last. It's also very hard to find someone when you isolate yourself like I have been. I honestly don't know how to get out of it. I hate this!

[9Lives]

I am always super strong the first few days of NC with my ex. It's been on and off since we broke up in July. I am only on day 5. I went out my my friends... they yelled at me for being a sucker... but I tried to have fun. Of course I went home alone, and crying. So right now I am in a rut. I have found that the only way I ever get over an ex is to find someone new, and better than the last. It's also very hard to find someone when you isolate yourself like I have been. I honestly don't know how to get out of it. I hate this!

 

Well that two in a boat without a paddle...LOL! I think Im going to try this method I used before to replace bad thoughts with thoughts i should be thinking. That worked before. I forgot about it until now

[AlisaMarie]

Good idea. Posting on here has helped me a lot, but sometimes I wonder if I am pandering too much on here! Like maybe this is just making me drag it out more. Idk, it's good to let your feelings out. I also think LS has helped me not try to contact him. Ok, it's time... let's fill our heads with other thoughts for the rest of this day! Check back in tonight and let me know how you're feeling!

[9Lives]

Good idea. Posting on here has helped me a lot, but sometimes I wonder if I am pandering too much on here! Like maybe this is just making me drag it out more. Idk, it's good to let your feelings out. I also think LS has helped me not try to contact him. Ok, it's time... let's fill our heads with other thoughts for the rest of this day! Check back in tonight and let me know how you're feeling!

 

I wonder too does LS keep you stuck in a rut? I going to check with other members and see what they think? It like rehashing it over and over again.

It a double edge sword sometimes I think

[WTRanger]

Do not force yourself to feel better. What you need to do is embrace the downs. If you force and resist the down, you only prolong the inevitable up. You are on a roller coaster, you have to go down to be able to go up. It's just a part of healing.

 

So embrace it, but be very careful not to dwell in it. Allow yourself a day of feeling dumpy. Sit around in your underwear with the shades drawn. Eat crap food while watching crap movies. Cry, rant, yell, scream. Embrace it! Then wake up the knowing that the next day is a brand new day. You will almost always feel refreshed that next morning.

[9Lives]

Do not force yourself to feel better. What you need to do is embrace the downs. If you force and resist the down, you only prolong the inevitable up. You are on a roller coaster, you have to go down to be able to go up. It's just a part of healing.

 

So embrace it, but be very careful not to dwell in it. Allow yourself a day of feeling dumpy. Sit around in your underwear with the shades drawn. Eat crap food while watching crap movies. Cry, rant, yell, scream. Embrace it! Then wake up the knowing that the next day is a brand new day. You will almost always feel refreshed that next morning.

 

That kinda what I do...it might last for more than a day. Maybe a week or a month but everybody tries to encourage you to get out. Truthfully I just want to stay home. I want to chill

[a_woman]

That kinda what I do...it might last for more than a day. Maybe a week or a month but everybody tries to encourage you to get out. Truthfully I just want to stay home. I want to chill

 

sport sport sport. running, circuit training, sweating, physically beating yourself up. you would not believe how much that changes you mentally, your mood picks up again and you see everything differently - at least until your next session.

 

regular hard exercise also helps you sleep better, especially if you eat well. take up rock climbing even if just indoors. it's so scary it doesn't allow you to dwell on anything else I promise you.

[brokenwingsforever]

Well that two in a boat without a paddle...LOL! I think Im going to try this method I used before to replace bad thoughts with thoughts i should be thinking. That worked before. I forgot about it until now

 

DO NOT go get yourself into another relationship right now. What you need is to feel how your feeling and let it take its course. If you go jump into relationship now then you would only be lying to yourself and the person your with. Plus it wouldnt be fair to them. You cant just ignore your feelings by being with someone else expecting that they will be SO great that they will make you completely forget about your ex. Youll just end up prolonging the grieving process and hurting yourself more. Make the right decisions!

[cerridwen]

I do what both AlisaMaria and WTRanger said.

 

I give myself a Pity Party Day--no makeup, movie marathon, pajamas all day, crying whenever I want.

 

Next day is a Break The Negative Actions Day--makeup, decent clothes, go somewhere low key by myself like going to a coffee shop to people watch, to the bookstore so I be around people but left alone or I take in a funny movie. No romantic comedies! They're eeeeevil right now! I do something that just gets me out, that isn't too socially demanding, but breaks the pattern of obsessing.

[9Lives]

I do what both AlisaMaria and WTRanger said.

 

I give myself a Pity Party Day--no makeup, movie marathon, pajamas all day, crying whenever I want.

 

Next day is a Break The Negative Actions Day--makeup, decent clothes, go somewhere low key by myself like going to a coffee shop to people watch, to the bookstore so I be around people but left alone or I take in a funny movie. No romantic comedies! They're eeeeevil right now! I do something that just gets me out, that isn't too socially demanding, but breaks the pattern of obsessing.

 

Im actually loving he Pity Party Day Idea. I mean lets face it, if you are going thru a change and it is a painful one, why not make lemons out of lemonade.

 

Declaring a pity party sounds like you get the chance to let it all out. So I think this should be the way it goes...its all about pampering yourself so you can get this out so you can move on instead of denying you feel like ****.

 

*at least try to wash your a/ss!! lol (Im not being nasty but i can skip a bath)

*put on something very comfortable

*pick out your movie or book or favorite something

*if crying is what you need - take off your mascara so you dont have to look in the mirror and look a screwed up..

*order the food you want and dont worry about your diet for one day or two.- we can just go bananas

 

what do you think?

[Nkognito]

sport sport sport. running, circuit training, sweating, physically beating yourself up. you would not believe how much that changes you mentally, your mood picks up again and you see everything differently - at least until your next session.

 

regular hard exercise also helps you sleep better, especially if you eat well. take up rock climbing even if just indoors. it's so scary it doesn't allow you to dwell on anything else I promise you.

 

 

Exactly, I go to the gym as should everyone else. Trust me, you will feel GREAT about yourself.

 

My progress as of October 20th - http://www.piccyfix.com/fixed/piccyfix_1291150048_Me.jpg

 

I continue to workout heavily. I walk in the mornings before going to work (3 miles). I walk to the gym (1.9 miles) I walk home (1.9 miles). I cook ribeye steaks, yellow squash, zucchini, stuffing, black beans. I eat healthy, hardly watch TV, play video games, get on here and talk to you guys and just move on.

 

I know to some this is a lot easier than it sounds but let me give you some of my background. I was with a woman for 10 years, married for 5 of those and I left her because I just did not have it in me to keep pretending that I was happy. We rushed in too soon when we were young and I called it quits. I have seen a few people after that, here and there but it was not till recently that I think I fell in love for the first time in my life. Maybe it might not be that in some peoples eyes but I found my heart wanting to do something, be something for someone so much that it was unbearable to keep in. I never experienced this emotion before as far as I can remember (sadly not even with my ex-wife). What happened? Karma happened and she (recent girlfriend) split on me.

 

The long drawn out point I am trying to make is I am comfortable, I am back to being myself, I have not jumped into rebound mode or another relationship but suffice it to say I am better and getting better as time goes on.

 

Anytime I start to feel sorry for myself I am reminded of a letter read from the movie "Saving Private Ryan".

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwHxtdnwlNw

 

The part I am speaking of starts at 4:40

 

 

But for the most part, I think of the soldiers across the pond getting dumped, left by their wives, girlfriends. I compare my brief relationship to theirs and I just think that I am so selfish when bigger, braver hearts are being crushed out there.

[bl22]

Listen to Nkognito here.

 

Gym is the best way to get out of depresion. Give it 4 months and you'll be amazed, 4/5 times a week and get into a routine. DO NOT eat anymore crap like burgers, fast food, ice cream....you know the rest.

 

Get yourself into fresh good foods - veg, chicken, turkey, wholegrain oats, skimmed milk, eggs (not fried), fish oils, nuts, whey protein etc. I gurantee in 4 months time, if you are disciplined you'll feel great. After that the motivation will come easy cause you'll see yourself looking a feeling better, everything changes after that. Your outlook on the world will change. Staying in everyday is the worst thing you can do.

 

Nows the time to do everything you want to do, and be the best you can be.

[cerridwen]

Declaring a pity party sounds like you get the chance to let it all out. So I think this should be the way it goes...its all about pampering yourself so you can get this out so you can move on instead of denying you feel like ****.

 

*at least try to wash your a/ss!! lol (Im not being nasty but i can skip a bath)

*put on something very comfortable

*pick out your movie or book or favorite something

*if crying is what you need - take off your mascara so you dont have to look in the mirror and look a screwed up..

*order the food you want and dont worry about your diet for one day or two.- we can just go bananas

 

what do you think?

 

I think you killed me with your "at least wash you a$$" line!!

I say you got spunk lady and deserve a Pity Party. Your Pity Party Theme is a play on words: "What Goes Down, Must Come Up." Yes, you're having a down day but guess what? Things will be looking up

[AlisaMarie]

I am going to go to the gym after I declare a pity party for myself. I will wash my @ss. ha ha. You all made me happy today!

Ok, today was a LS day.

Tomorrow, I am going to shower- put on my fave sweats- and watch some fun movies and eat junk.

Thursday, it will be on week NC, so I will celebrate by working on me in a more positve light... gym... maybe go get a message or manicure.

Friday... I am going out with my friends!

Saturday... work, then repeat Friday!

See... who needs him? If he was here I'd be taking care of his baby and cleaning and stressing if he's at work or lying to me. EFF IT!

[9Lives]

I think you killed me with your "at least wash you a$$" line!!

I say you got spunk lady and deserve a Pity Party. Your Pity Party Theme is a play on words: "What Goes Down, Must Come Up." Yes, you're having a down day but guess what? Things will be looking up

 

Glad I could humor you! lol

 

Im actually having one today..It has been going on really since saturday but I finally feel better so tomorrow I will be off doing what is best and good for me. I needed this party.

 

Ordered a pizza(crashed my diet today)

got my thrill on...lol

layed in bed all day

lived on LS

 

Im gonna wash my ass....I PROMISE!!! lol

 

great day!

[9Lives]

I am going to go to the gym after I declare a pity party for myself. I will wash my @ss. ha ha. You all made me happy today!

Ok, today was a LS day.

Tomorrow, I am going to shower- put on my fave sweats- and watch some fun movies and eat junk.

Thursday, it will be on week NC, so I will celebrate by working on me in a more positve light... gym... maybe go get a message or manicure.

Friday... I am going out with my friends!

Saturday... work, then repeat Friday!

See... who needs him? If he was here I'd be taking care of his baby and cleaning and stressing if he's at work or lying to me. EFF IT!

 

Alright Alisa!! Streets is watching! dont look back...just tell yourself that he is dead. Dead people dont communicate. Just keep him away from you until you get over him. Dont be that bottom btch anymore. You are better than that!

[flower88]

for me, i make the effort to devote my time to my religion, i believe in god so i am sure strengthening my relationship with god is the best thing to do. i am already seeing results, i understand it will take time to reprogramme my mind and renew my spirit. i keep telling myself this will be over soon.

 

and yes, honestly, i feel i cannot live without him, i feel everything is meaningless, i feel my source of real joy is gone, i even ask god to take me home now. then i tell myself all these are just feelings and not the truth, and keep believing this shall be over one day. feelings tell me it wouldn't and i will be miserable the rest of my life, this is actually what i think but i just force myself to think positively.

 

i also feel very sad, but i also refuse to believe one man can beat me like this. i will not let him. this is a battle, i have to win or die. and i want to win. i love him but i will not let love control me like this. i am sick of feeling sad. i am sure one day i will recover.

 

this is how i live now, like fighting a battle everyday.

[worlybear]

I just eat a bar of chocolate -oh ,then I walk the dog cos I feel guilty!

[Fern]

I phone one of my friends and have a good old WEEP at them. I'm talking nose running, feeling so sorry for myself, cry so hard they can't hardly make out what I'm saying. I always feel far better after.

[Phateless]

When Im depressed I noticed that I dont want to go anywhere. I post alot on LS and I surf the net for answers to my pain. I also dont take good care of myself. I dont want to put my make up on or really dress nice. I dont sleep well and I think alot about what is happening.

 

How do i get out of it?

that is the hard part. I really dont know. i guess i force myself to move on and hope to feel better soon. I wish I knew what to do.

 

Exercise. Even if you have to drag your ass to the gym it really does help. Physiologically even; exercise produces endorphins.

[9Lives]

I phone one of my friends and have a good old WEEP at them. I'm talking nose running, feeling so sorry for myself, cry so hard they can't hardly make out what I'm saying. I always feel far better after.

 

wow! my friends would hang up on me. your lucky. i can onlynhave that snot nose, puffy eye, nose swollen look alll by myself