AshleyMB Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 So I’ve been sorta seeing this new guy, I thought this was going pretty well so far but now I’m a little nervous. I majored in social psych in university, so I understand a lot attraction/dating priniciples in theory, but I actually have limited experience in the field lol- I only had one really serious boyfriend before which ended badly this summer, but other than that I swear I feel like socially retarded sometimes when it comes to dating and I don‘t know how it works. He has a lot more dating experience than I do. If I had more I probably wouldn’t be overanalyzing so much lol. He went to the same university as me and lived in my res first year, but I never really knew him. We now live in the same city and got to talking online, and he suggested we actually get together in person sometime. We went out on our first date, and it went really well and we both had a really good time. Where we had to part ways, he sorta went in for the kiss but it was kind of awkward timing and a very busy street in our city, so I missed the cue and it didn’t happen lol-- but at the same time I wanted to leave things at the height of impulse so that he would be eager to ask me out again. He said he had a good time and we should do it again soon. He messaged me pretty much right away the next day, and we talked back and forth throughout the week (he asked me what I preferred and we both decided early on that we both liked facebook msging better than phone/texting for a primary way to stay in touch). He wanted to see me again, so we went out for our second date the next Friday. We went out for coffee and chatted for a few hours, and again it went really well. This time when we parted we did kiss (no like making out, just light kissing... it was the same busy street corner lol) and he sorta awkwardly said, ‘send me a message sometime,’ as I walked away back to my place. He again messaged me right away the next day, and again we talked every day. He asked me how I felt about meeting up more than once a week, and that he would like to see me again before next Friday if at all possible. So he didn’t want to wait a week to see me again. He also had a really especially stressful and busy work week that particular week, but when I said that when the only day I could do it was Weds, he said he could make it work. We went out to a movie and it all seemed to go really well again. He asked if he could put his arm around me during it and we sorta snuggled. He’s always been really attentive and polite and pays for everything (which I always feel kind of bad about, but I guess that’s how dating works? Lol) When we parted ways, we kissed again and our 3rd date ended with him saying, “So I’ll see you next time?” So this all seems to be going really well and promising so far right? So I kind of surprised when he didn’t contact me right after and suggest a 4th date. I messaged him on the second day after, just with a short/funny link that I got from work that day that was in reference to something that we were talking about on our date in the movie we saw. We talked back and forth the last couple of days, and he has seemed to reply to my messages as soon as he gets them, and usually ended his with another question. He asked when my next day off was, and if I had any plans for them, although he didn’t mention anything about another date or seeing me again. I know that we probably don't know eachother yet to be too overly invested or concerned, but he seems like a really great guy and I'm really enjoying getting to know him so far. Plus he's SO cute haha. My roommate suggested that maybe he was wanting me to make the next move, although I’m not sure how reliable her expertise is. I've had some bad experiences in the past. I kind of figured if a guy wanted to see you again and you kept accepting dates, he would keep initiating them and contact,,, or how does the whole dating protocol typically work at this point after the 3rd date? Is it the guy that should always do the 'chasing' so to speak? I’m not really sure what to do now? I'm kind of paranoid about coming off as too over-eager or needy. Is he waiting, just chilling and taking his time, or just losing interest? How can you tell?
Madgick Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 Well, if you've gone on 3 dates that he initiated and you initiate the 4th, you can't possibly come off as being over-eager--at least not more over eager than him, right?
Author AshleyMB Posted December 3, 2010 Author Posted December 3, 2010 Thanks guys, I think I was just looking for a bit of reassurance.... so I messaged him back and did a little initiating, although I tried to not be too overt about it-- I just suggested we do something if he ever feels like a break from everything he told me he was up to this week, let me know. He replied within 10 minutes and told me all the days he was free, even that he was free that night, and said that I could text him if I wanted a faster response, because he might not get a chance to check his messages before he got home from work. I suggested something for Thursday night, and he seemed pretty up for it. Although the next morning he texted/messaged me saying that he was wondering if we could reschedule. I think he was kind of genuine in that he said he was feeling really sick and didn't sleep well the night before, and so he was leaving work early. He wanted to reschedule our meet-up, and asked if I was free at all this weekend.
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