curlygirl40 Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 I'm really not sure where to start here, or even what my question is. I have a first date with a guy from Match towards the end of this week. We are both in our 40's and not looking to have more kids. (incase that comes up) Since his divorce his kids are being raised as Catholic by their Catholic mother. Going to CCD, etc. He is Jewish but told me he's 'not practicing'. I am a Christian but no denomination. We are both very spiritual people, if that makes any sense after what I've just said. We have had many awesome phone conversations, have a lot in common, etc. Anyway, so our lunch date happens to be during Hanukkah. I won't be bringing a gift, but do I say "Happy Hanukkah" or not since he told me he wasn't 'practicing'? I know I'm getting ahead of myself but wanted to put this out there too. If we are still dating in a few weeks do I ask him to be included in any of my Christmas traditions? (Which I wouldn't do anything like that with the kids around, too soon for that, but say on Christmas Eve when the kids are with the X, do I invite him over for dinner or something like that?) Just want to make sure I do the right thing. This is all so new to me. Thanks!!
Idalis Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 My b/f and I are different religions and to be honest it has never been an issue. He doesn't really practice his religion but when he's had church events to go to he invites me and I attend if I'm able to. And vice versa if I have something at my church I invite him. I guess we leave it up to each others discretion whether to attend or not, but the invite is out there. If you're willing to date outside your religion then you have to be prepared to be there for that person on dates that are significant to that person for religious reasons, otherwise it is best to stick to others of your own faith. I don't normally buy any gifts or participate in any other traditions b/c I am not of that faith but I'm there for support and I respect his views on things. So, no I would not take a gift for Hanukkah and I would only say Happy Hanukkah if he is acknowledging the holiday in some way. If not then I wouldn't say that.
denise_xo Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 I'm really not sure where to start here, or even what my question is. I have a first date with a guy from Match towards the end of this week. We are both in our 40's and not looking to have more kids. (incase that comes up) Since his divorce his kids are being raised as Catholic by their Catholic mother. Going to CCD, etc. He is Jewish but told me he's 'not practicing'. I am a Christian but no denomination. We are both very spiritual people, if that makes any sense after what I've just said. We have had many awesome phone conversations, have a lot in common, etc. Anyway, so our lunch date happens to be during Hanukkah. I won't be bringing a gift, but do I say "Happy Hanukkah" or not since he told me he wasn't 'practicing'? I know I'm getting ahead of myself but wanted to put this out there too. If we are still dating in a few weeks do I ask him to be included in any of my Christmas traditions? (Which I wouldn't do anything like that with the kids around, too soon for that, but say on Christmas Eve when the kids are with the X, do I invite him over for dinner or something like that?) Just want to make sure I do the right thing. This is all so new to me. Thanks!! My partner and I have different religious backgrounds and it's never been an issue. We are also both 'spiritually' minded and that's how we meet on those issues. I once had a relative ask me if my partner would get offended if she gave him a Christmas present even though he is not a Christian. Both my partner and I found the thought that he would take offense at that ridiculous (although we appreciated the thoughtfulness behind the question). My guess is you're over analyzing it. Turn it around - do the majority of people with Christian background get offended if someone wishes them Happy Easter even though they are not committed believers or don't go to church? I really don't see how saying 'Happy Hannukah' can be a wrong thing. If it is 'wrong' for him I'd be a bit skeptical of the guy. If his ex-W was Catholic, I guess he's also participated in a few Christmas dinners before? I vote relax and enjoy your date
Author curlygirl40 Posted December 2, 2010 Author Posted December 2, 2010 Thank you guys very much! The date went well, I wished him Happy Hanukkah and asked him what his plans were for tonight and left it at that. Seeing him again on Sunday. Thanks again
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