NewGirl31 Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 I have been seeing a great guy for 2 months now. We had the "exclusive talk" 2weeks ago. So we are officially in a relationship. He has been wonderful fromthe start. He calls me every night, takes me to nice places, and we spend a lot of time together. Even I haven't known him long, so far he is the nicest and most generous man I have ever met. I'm 31 and have been wanting to meet someone like him for a long time. He came with me to Thanksgiving dinner and met my family and than we spent the next few days together. Two months ago we met on a dating site. I noticed a few weeks ago that he still had a dating profile up. I removed mine about a month ago. His was still up but he changed his status to "not single/not looking". But I still wondered why he would need a dating profile when he now considered himself in arelationship. I knew he was checking his profile every few days (yes I was spying) I could see his status when I would visit the website. I wasn't initially too bothered He is originally from Scotland but is now living in the US for his job as an engineer. He doesn't know many people here other than some coworkers. So I figured maybe he just used the website to meet new people or look at the forums.We text pretty often so last week during one of our texting conversations Itold him I removed my profile, hoping that would prompt him to remove his orsay something. He didn't say a word about the text and I checked the next few days and his profile was still up even though he had not been on in a week. But than yesterday I looked and his status was "online now". I decided not to make a big deal about it and asked him in the most casual way possible. I sent him a text asking him why he still had a dating profile. I said I was making sure mine was gone and I noticed he was still active. I didn't ask him to remove it I just wanted to know what he used it for. He took a few minutes torespond, and than gave me a silly answer saying he hadn't been online and he didn't know how to delete it so he just changed his status to say "not single". Now I'm not dumb enough to go for that, but I told him its very easy to delete. I also told him that I know there are other uses for the website other than dating, like using the forums, etc. But I also said I would be concerned if hewas using it to "browse" other women. And that I didn't want him to delete it because I asked him to, he needed to do it when he was ready. And if he was using it to browse maybe we needed to slow things down. He immediately came back that he had"no use" for it and he would delete it. I just responded back "ok" I'm alittle bothered that he lied about not being online when I know for a fact thathe was and the excuse about not knowing how to delete it. Well after he told me he would delete it, I fell asleep (I wasn't feelingwell) I woke up a 4 hours later to him knocking on my door. He shows up at myplace with medicine, Juice and ingredients to make home made soup and he lives about an hour away! He did text and call me when I was asleep but since Ididn't hear the phone I didn't answer. I think he figured I was mad about the profile thing and thats why I didn't answer his textes or phone call. Because I usually text/call him right away. So I guess my concern is did he only do this because I questioned him? Oh and he did delete it.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 Man, you'd better stop it. He was near enough to being well in-bounds so that you shouldn't have even brought it up once. Then, it was your obvious discomfort about it that inspired him to try to make things better. Clearly you can understand what "not single/not looking" means, and if you admit to that having been his status soon after the "exclusive talk", then you've gone overboard. Besides, until you incorporate the difference between how many inquiries your profiles bring you, and how many inquiries the profile of the average male brings him, then it just isn't right for you to be upset, particularly when it is someone from a different country who doesn't have circles and circles of friends in your area.
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