equitable Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 Long story short, H has been lying, keeping secrets, and had over a dozen secret friends (sexual, non-sexual?) and at least one ONS (I suspect more) from the very start of our marriage. Several priests have told me this is not a marriage. H is getting more surly as his life unravels, crankier with the kids to the point of scaring me at times, and helped himself to my credit card (his name is on it, so techinically what he did is legal, but I was shocked at how much $ disappeared from my bank account overnight to pay a bill I hadn't run up). In short, it's past time to end this, for my own and probably my children's protection. Friends are telling me thigns they've seen about him that make them think he's a pot waiting to boil over, despite his front of calm and peaceful at all times. My lawyer is concerned for my safety in the wake of him being served. Please give me some advice on when and where to have him served that gives myself and the kids the greatest safety. I work Saturdays, and am afraid of him coming in to work and causing a scene, or of him being home alone with the kids when he's just gotten notice at work. (He works overnight.) Unless I can get the kids all at various friends' for overnights, I figure I have to take them to a hotel for a night or two, and between work and school, can really only do that during Christmas break, or wait until spring break. I hate to ruin their Christmas like this, but it seems it's my only choice. Please, any ideas, advice, things I need to consider at al, how the rest of you did itl. I've been married 22 years. The kids are 18 down to 6.
shuttershy Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 but my husband is now living with his mother. i know he works from home MWF so i'm going to have him served at his mother's house on one of those days. the kids and i will be at a hotel somewhere not very local so he can't go driving around looking for us. there is an indoor waterpark down the highway with hotel packages, so i've considered that. it would get my mind off it and keep the kids distracted; however, i will be taking everything of value out of my home and storing it somewhere, as he still has a key to our house. he's never destroyed my things but i have no idea what he will do out of anger or desperation.
2010_Sorry Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I just realized that your original questions were posed in November so I'm assuming that you already had him served. I will go ahead and respond, just in case there is anyone else in a similar situation (like shuttershy). I would NEVER recommend leaving your home once the spouse has been served. Everyone might think I'm crazy, but I've heard WAY TOO MANY horror stories of the served person going home and moving everything out of the house! It's so much harder to fight for assets that aren't in your possesion during a divorce!! With that being said, you could be dealing with an abusive spouse, one that will go crazy when he/she is served. If that is your scenario, then I would recommend that someone is in the house with you... a friend or family member is best. Also, make sure the kids are somewhere else....
Duckduckgoose Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Gosh... I would probably serve them and then go stay with some friends for a while, or maybe make some police acquaintances. Its best to get it over with as quickly as possible if he's ready to boil over.
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