alex1960 Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 I'm known for posting some of the most pathetic updates about my relationship and this one is no exception. My wife and I are going through counselling. I found out she told a guy at work she would've dated him had she not been married. She argues that it doesn't mean she no longer loves me but I think her thought says a lot about she stands in our marriage. Although she has been committed lately I still wonder every day whether she still loves me.
TaraMaiden Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 Oh she loves you. I think you need to ask her "in what way, exactly?" though......
Author alex1960 Posted November 29, 2010 Author Posted November 29, 2010 Oh she loves you. I think you need to ask her "in what way, exactly?" though...... Sorry what should I ask her?
TaraMaiden Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 "In what way do you love me?" See.... women can keep loving their husbands....for a long time. They're just not "in Love" with them..... Does she love you, or is she in love with you? If it's the latter, this has a fair chance of progressing. If it's the former, it will be an uphill struggle.
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 I'm known for posting some of the most pathetic updates about my relationship and this one is no exception. My wife and I are going through counselling. I found out she told a guy at work she would've dated him had she not been married. She argues that it doesn't mean she no longer loves me but I think her thought says a lot about she stands in our marriage. Although she has been committed lately I still wonder every day whether she still loves me. Alex! Wake Up! Your wife is/was having an emotional affair with a coworker - at minimum. She was in contact with this guy long before you knew... then went WAY out of her way so this guy could take her to a super expensive meal. Then she gaslights the hell out of you about it. What more do you need to know? She doesn't care about you... or how you feel. Stop being in denial.
Author alex1960 Posted November 29, 2010 Author Posted November 29, 2010 Alex! Wake Up! Your wife is/was having an emotional affair with a coworker - at minimum. She was in contact with this guy long before you knew... then went WAY out of her way so this guy could take her to a super expensive meal. Then she gaslights the hell out of you about it. What more do you need to know? She doesn't care about you... or how you feel. Stop being in denial. I'm a bit encouraged since she accepted to reduce contact with him to only business dealings. She was supposed to see him again but decided to cancel the meeting.
carhill Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 Although she has been committed lately I still wonder every day whether she still loves me. Hopefully, in-patient psychiatric care will help her I'm smelling a marriage of convenience odor...
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 I'm a bit encouraged since she accepted to reduce contact with him to only business dealings. She was supposed to see him again but decided to cancel the meeting. That is NOT acceptable! She should have zero contact with him. None! Nada! Zip! If she needs to justify it with work then so be it. Also, you should have access to all of her communication with everyone absolutely everyone for the next 6 months. She should apologize and be understanding to your needs here... bottom line this crap is 100% her own damn fault... and she needs to be willing to face the music. Your being too soft in this situation.
Author alex1960 Posted November 30, 2010 Author Posted November 30, 2010 Alex How long have you been married? We've together forever and have been married a few years and have a daughter together.
hART Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 This is rude at the very least. It could indicate something more if he has been pursuing her. The appropriate thing to say is, "no, I'm with a wonderful man right now." It is good you are working with a counselor.
Distant78 Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 I'm sorry for the pain you've been going through man. I've been reading your posts since you joined LS and I suspected that your wife has been cheating. Personally I think you should admit her to professional care. She's been doing drugs, is a pathological lier, and a serial cheater. You need to step up and let her know you won't tolerate no more of her destructive behavior. Other than that, make sure you take good care of yourself physically and mentally and be the rock for your daughter. Good luck man.
Author alex1960 Posted November 30, 2010 Author Posted November 30, 2010 This is rude at the very least. It could indicate something more if he has been pursuing her. The appropriate thing to say is, "no, I'm with a wonderful man right now." It is good you are working with a counselor. I know he has been chasing her for a few months and that she was aware of it. As you've correctly pointed out, I do wonder what she told him to string him along like that.
Author alex1960 Posted November 30, 2010 Author Posted November 30, 2010 I'm sorry for the pain you've been going through man. I've been reading your posts since you joined LS and I suspected that your wife has been cheating. Personally I think you should admit her to professional care. She's been doing drugs, is a pathological lier, and a serial cheater. You need to step up and let her know you won't tolerate no more of her destructive behavior. Other than that, make sure you take good care of yourself physically and mentally and be the rock for your daughter. Good luck man. Thank you for your post.
hART Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 I told a man I have a boyfriend and kept telling him no (in a way trashy men take as yes), and he still pursued me. I don't know your wife or this man, but it sounds like a bad situation. You sound like a good man, so I'm sorry she is putting you through this.
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