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Do you think flirting should be allowed in a relationship?

Life2B

By Life2B
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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Life2B Member

Life2B

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I personally think, as long as your bf/gf is not around a bit of flirting (no touching) doesn't do any harm and it helps your ego a bit. Besides I heard that flirting can make your life happier. Although I think you should definitely NOT flirt around your bf/gf, if someone else flirts with you that's fine because a bit of jealousy is good in a relationship right? (as long as it doesn't go out of hand) And you shouldn't encourage it in any way.

 

What do you guys think?

PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

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I think it's a feeble attempt to justify a breach of healthy boundaries.

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Life2B Member

Life2B

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Oh it's a completely hypothetical situation, I was just thinking about if I ever caught my bf flirting what I would do or think about it. Of course my brain tends to become irrational when it comes to him and his contact with girls... I don't want to be the girl that ties him down or is totally jealous of every girl he speaks to...

threebyfate Established Member

threebyfate

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It depends on the couple and where they've set their relationship boundaries. For some, flirting is fine, for others, flirting is not okay. Part of it is defining the difference between flirting with intent or just flirting for fun.

 

IMO, flirting doesn't always lead to cheating just like dancing doesn't always lead to sex. It depends on the individuals involved. Some have no self-control, others do. For those with less self-control, particularly if their relationship isn't as fulfilling as they want, flirting can and does lead to cheating.

chocha_mocha Member

chocha_mocha

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Like threebyfate said, different relationships has different boundaries. Plus 'flirting' can mean different things to different people. Flirting can be a bit of fun but it can so easily taken the wrong way, so I generally don't do it. Personally, I wouldn't flirt with someone unless I knew the person well and/or that my actions wouldn't be taken out of context. Flirting with someone who you really fancy or that you know fancy's you is dodgy ground in my opinion, regardless if isn't not to take things any further. For me that's pushing boundaries and probably about attention seeking. I think its unfair at times in a relationship to expect the other person to feel 100% secure if thats going on.

Edited by chocha_mocha
Idalis Established Member

Idalis

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I only flirt with my boyfriend, thats really the only "ego" boost I need, b/c I don't enjoy flirting with or from anyone else.

 

I know a lot of couples that flirt when not around each other, I find it uncomfortable.

 

I really liked an interview with Heidi Klum where she states she only flirts with her husband Seal, I thought it was really cute http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20336428,00.html . And I once watched a televised interview where the guy tried to flirt with her and she completely ignored his comment and went on with the interview I thought it was so classy that she didn't acknowledge another mans flirtations.

 

I especially don't like the idea of flirting when my SO is not around, that just reeks of shady and not being honest IMO.

Dexter Morgan Established Member

Dexter Morgan

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I personally think, as long as your bf/gf is not around a bit of flirting (no touching) doesn't do any harm and it helps your ego a bit. Besides I heard that flirting can make your life happier. Although I think you should definitely NOT flirt around your bf/gf, if someone else flirts with you that's fine because a bit of jealousy is good in a relationship right? (as long as it doesn't go out of hand) And you shouldn't encourage it in any way.

 

What do you guys think?

 

those who say there is no hurt in a little flirt are full of it.

 

flirting is the conveyance to someone else that there is an attraction or sexual interest. Doesn't matter if it goes further than batting your eyes at someone or a slight brush of the hand against someones leg while letting out a little giggle.

 

people don't flirt with people they wouldn't consider as bedding down material.

 

so if I catch a gf of mine flirting, I know its because she deep down wants him, just restrains herself. I don't want anyone that HAS to restrain themselves. So if I find someone to be a flirt, I move on.

chocha_mocha Member

chocha_mocha

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I personally think, as long as your bf/gf is not around

 

I've just re-read this thread and picked up on this - if you've got to conseal this behaviour from your partner, should you really be doing it? That's like saying "well, I know it looks bad but I'll do it when the're not there because I can grow my ego. Wouldn't dare do that infront of them though". Why is it disresectful to do that infront of them yet ok to do it behind their back? You know, so to their face you'd never act like that, but really you would. Or is it just classed as a 'white lie' type of thing?

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Life2B Member

Life2B

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I guess you're right about that. I myself don't flirt with other guys I was just wondering if it's acceptable. I needed some back-up so now I know I have a good reason not to accept it at all and be mad in case it does. My bf has a lot of friends who are girls... I get very worried and jealous when he's with them and I'm not around. I just wondered if it's a bad thing to feel like this or if it's justified.

 

Congratulation you just changed my opinion on the matter ;)

hoping2heal Established Member

hoping2heal

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I personally think, as long as your bf/gf is not around a bit of flirting (no touching) doesn't do any harm and it helps your ego a bit. Besides I heard that flirting can make your life happier. Although I think you should definitely NOT flirt around your bf/gf, if someone else flirts with you that's fine because a bit of jealousy is good in a relationship right? (as long as it doesn't go out of hand) And you shouldn't encourage it in any way.

 

What do you guys think?

 

I love flirting. It is a fun and playful thing that I can say definately does add to my relationship.

 

Oh, I suppose I should mention that the only flirting I do is with the lovely Mr.hoping2heal.

make me believe Established Member

make me believe

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I definitely do not think flirting with others is ok when you're in a relationship. People who flirt with others for an "ego boost" need to work on themselves so that their self-esteem & egos don't depend on this kind of external validation. It's ALWAYS inappropriate to convey a sexual or romantic attraction to someone else when you're in a relationship, and that is exactly what flirting is meant to do. I don't think it's harmless fun at all.

wicar1 Established Member

wicar1

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flirting = cheap. First step to cheating.

Untouchable_Fire Established Member

Untouchable_Fire

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Oh it's a completely hypothetical situation, I was just thinking about if I ever caught my bf flirting what I would do or think about it. Of course my brain tends to become irrational when it comes to him and his contact with girls... I don't want to be the girl that ties him down or is totally jealous of every girl he speaks to...

 

I've tried this and it doesn't work well.

 

If you really want to be happy. Flirt with each other. I never want to stop flirting with my GF! I actually used some super cheesy pickup lines on her last week. I think they worked for the first time ever. :laugh:

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