Scarlett513 Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 My friend & I got into a debate last night about a date she will be going on this weekend. The guy in question is her brand new boyfriend. He told her he had tickets to a sporting event and invited her to come. She agreed, but she does not expect to pay for her own ticket because he invited her and because she paid entirely for their last date (bc she invited him). I see her logic, but sports tickets tend to be pricey - at least more expensive than your standard dinner and a movie. If I were in this situation, I would give him money for my ticket. I also suspect he got the tickets with her in mind - she has mentioned to me a few times recently that she would like to go to a game, so I'm guessing she may have mentioned it to him also. She isn't the type to take advantage as far as I know - she just feels that since he invited her, he should pay for both tickets and she will offer to pay for some food/beer at the event. I just can't help but think it's kind of rude for her not to offer. What do you think?
carhill Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 If the dynamic works for them, it works for them. Good on her for paying for a date. I personally see no issues here and have purchased sport/theater/concert tickets for others in the past. I am looking forward to having a woman pay for a date. That sounds wonderful
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 My friend & I got into a debate last night about a date she will be going on this weekend. The guy in question is her brand new boyfriend. He told her he had tickets to a sporting event and invited her to come. She agreed, but she does not expect to pay for her own ticket because he invited her and because she paid entirely for their last date (bc she invited him). I see her logic, but sports tickets tend to be pricey - at least more expensive than your standard dinner and a movie. If I were in this situation, I would give him money for my ticket. I also suspect he got the tickets with her in mind - she has mentioned to me a few times recently that she would like to go to a game, so I'm guessing she may have mentioned it to him also. She isn't the type to take advantage as far as I know - she just feels that since he invited her, he should pay for both tickets and she will offer to pay for some food/beer at the event. I just can't help but think it's kind of rude for her not to offer. What do you think? This is a relationship not first date situation. Money should be viewed as somewhat shared as both parties should be actively watching out for the others financial well being. The BF should pay in this situation.
2sure Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 He should pay because he made the decision to buy the tickets and then nicely surprised her with them. Why would she want to take the pleasure of this away from him by insisting on reimbursing him? She might like to pick up the expense of refreshments at the game, dinner before or drinks after. Thats gracious enough without taking anything away from his gesture.
EasyHeart Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 He should pay, but she should offer. She should say, "How much do I owe you for the ticket" and he should say, "Don't worry about it; my treat." Then she should offer to buy him a beer or peanuts or whatever. Or she could offer to pay for drinks after the game.
Mad Max Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 He's the one who invited her, so he's obligated to pay. It would be nice for her to offer, but since he invited her he pays.
musemaj11 Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 (edited) The rule of 21st century, whoever invites pays. If I were you, I wouldnt even offer to pay. I would only say 'thank you so much'. But I would indeed treat him to something else such as food or drinks. Expecting other people to pay for your share is what leeches do and it speaks volume of one's integrity and character. However, I find splitting unromantic. Taking turns treating each other is the way to go. Edited November 29, 2010 by musemaj11
GolferGirl123 Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 He told her he had tickets to a sporting event and invited her to come. He should pay and she should not offer to reimburse him - though she should do as others suggested and buy food/drinks before/during/after - whatever they decide they are doing.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 My friend & I got into a debate last night about a date she will be going on this weekend. The guy in question is her brand new boyfriend. He told her he had tickets to a sporting event and invited her to come. She agreed, but she does not expect to pay for her own ticket because he invited her and because she paid entirely for their last date (bc she invited him). I see her logic, but sports tickets tend to be pricey - at least more expensive than your standard dinner and a movie. If I were in this situation, I would give him money for my ticket. I also suspect he got the tickets with her in mind - she has mentioned to me a few times recently that she would like to go to a game, so I'm guessing she may have mentioned it to him also. She isn't the type to take advantage as far as I know - she just feels that since he invited her, he should pay for both tickets and she will offer to pay for some food/beer at the event. I just can't help but think it's kind of rude for her not to offer. What do you think? There is no question: Whoever did the inviting is the one who does the paying. (anybody is free at any time to 'offer' to pay... that is no part of the equation here) It is NOT "rude" of her not to offer. And heck, we don't even know that he bought tickets to a sporting event... only that he "has them" - and guys with coworkers and buddies get tickets from various spots.
Confusedalways Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 I'm a big advocate of switching who pays for dinner/ nights out on and off. I always offer my fair share--- but it is VERY clear to me in this situation that he is clearly the one that should pay for this. A simple thanks and paying for beer would be my way to repay. I wouldn't expect him to pay for something like the ballet (extreme example) if I had two tickets. It's far from rude. It's a new relationship, and if she'd been mentioning it, it's a nice gesture. No way I'd offer to pay- this is all on him.
musemaj11 Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 I'm a big advocate of switching who pays for dinner/ nights out on and off. I always offer my fair share--- but it is VERY clear to me in this situation that he is clearly the one that should pay for this. A simple thanks and paying for beer would be my way to repay. I wouldn't expect him to pay for something like the ballet (extreme example) if I had two tickets. It's far from rude. It's a new relationship, and if she'd been mentioning it, it's a nice gesture. No way I'd offer to pay- this is all on him. If a girl invited me to a ballet, not only I wouldn't even bother to offer, I wouldn't pay even if she asked me to. Lol
zengirl Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 I don't believe in going dutch unless it's clear there won't be another date. That's not to say I never pay -- I suppose I pay less than my boyfriend but that's more because of the major disparity in our incomes currently (I've paid more with poorer boyfriends when I was richer) and his professed enjoyment in treating me. I often pick up a dinner, tickets, whatnot, but I never pay for half of something. I find going dutch completely unromantic. The only thing we've bought separately, is something like an annual ticket to something or plane ticket, something that was several hundred dollars. But a ticket to a sporting event shouldn't be in that range. He invited her, he bought the tickets. . . for her to just hand him money seems like it'd be odd. She could offer. Sometimes I say to my boyfriend, "How much do I owe you?" but he just scoffs at me. When I buy something -- I surprised him with tickets not long ago -- I do the same to him if he offers. It would've spoiled my fun for him to pay for his ticket. But I don't think she has to offer. Her behavior seems fine to me. Even if it wasn't, why would you care?
Knittress Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 I second all the 'they who invites, pays' posts. And I think it would be awkward if she offered to reimburse him. How is that any way to respond to a romantic gesture? The proper response is to be romantic right back.
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