Jdw_Icequeen Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 I have two other posts on here about the break up and our first time seeing eachother. We broke up saturday when he left out of the blue. Both had been under alot of stress. He finally decided to tell me it was done for good. I was going to do nc but was txting about finacial stuff. He did say he wanted to be friends. So yesterday I txted about an ecard I thought he sent me because I couldn't open it. I noticed latly it took him longer and longer to get back to me. He says his phone has been having problems. I know it has in the past but it never seemed this bad. After he road the bus 7 hours to drop me off formula for our son I decided if he was going to be around for the baby then we could be friends. After leaving I did txt asking him to let me know he got home ok. He txt back the next day. Just stuff like that. He didn't reply to the txt about the ecard. Then I remembered he is suppose to come see his baby tuesday or wensday but was suppose to start work in vegas. So I asked about it. He said work isnt going to start the 1st as it was planned. I decided to just lay it out on the line. I txted Me: Ok well I guess I should just go ahead and say this.I feel honestly like your avoiding me. I txt u here and there and it takes you ages to respond when it never did before even when you were having trouble with your phone. Maybe I'm annoying you. But its kind of making me think that the only reason u agreed to be friends was to let me down gently. Like your just doing me a favor. I honestly don't want that and would rather u just be upfront. I won't keep txting if your avoiding me. I guess for me it seems like a harsh step that you would. but thats ok. Ex: No I'm not avoiding you.. as soon as I see your txt I respond to you. I'm not trying to do that at all. I at this point felt nothing more to say. If he is going to lie about avoiding me and such I was just going to try and forget about it. 3 hours later he txts agin. The first time he has initiated contact by phone since the break up. Ex: So did you get my response? I hope you know I really do want to be friends with you and am not in any way trying to let you off easy. Me:Ya I got it I just got busy afterward. That's good I just didn't want to push you into anything. Ex: I know that we do have alot invested with eachother and there were definetly good parts of our relationship.. that's why I said I don't know about fixing it instead of saying never no way. but its going to take time and a lot more that before I come to decide if its somthing I do want to pursue..I'm not trying to string you along or anything like that I just thought you should know.and of course atleast being friends is a starting point. Me: Ty. I'm glad you could share that with me. I completley understand you need your time. I also need mine. I didn't realize it until after you left. Ending a relationship is not somthing to take lightly. So its very important to compose ourselves before reconsidering re-entering one. Ex: Yes I agree Me: Somthing that if does happen should be taken slowly. Its a bit hard right now bcuz I'm use to u being here everyday. But friends is a good outlook to have and if the end its not somthing we both are willing to get back into. I would love to remain friends atleast. It just hurts to think of you being gone completley. Ex: Yes I understand and I do miss you.. I was used to you being there every day as well.. and we'll see what happens. Me: I look forward to seeing you. Let me know when you find out when your coming. Ex: Ok I will Me: Good night and sweet dreams! Ex: Same too you.. If we do ever get back together its a positve step in the right direction for a fresh start. We can't wallow in the past. Still keeping myself busy everyday.. he is suppose to be here tuesday or wensday. At this point of course I still want him back. I can't say obviously that this will be the case that we will get back together. But it was definetly nice to hear him say that. Its a tough one and I hope I am not setting myself up for heart ache. I'm just going to take things slow continue to take the good with the bad and work on myself and what I want out of life.
AlisaMarie Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 I just really don't like that one part where he says "we will see what happens." That is kind of stringing you along. You have a son together, so you have to be friends, forever. However, his tone and words through your conversation are things that I have heard before... and they are letting you down softly, and we will see what happens is stringing you along and giving you some little bit of hope that may not exist for him anymore. I am just speaking of my own experience, so I hope that I am 100% wrong.
Author Jdw_Icequeen Posted November 29, 2010 Author Posted November 29, 2010 I know what you mean alisa. I agree with him though. I feel at I am at a stage in my life that I definetly don't want to be with him if he isn't 100% sure. I think he has hope and so do I. However if it comes to the cross roads of saying good bye to our relationship that will be that. I don't want him to do anything he isn't sure of. Only time will tell. I do think its good that its only been a week and we our communicating better. I will not throw my feelings on the floor to be trampled on. Thats why I never used the words I missed him or loved him. Those words are for the man thats in my arms. I didn't cry over him. I'm over the begging stage. Being hurt before in other relationships made me push myself faster and harder to get through my sorrows and trying to force things. Things like this can't be forced either its ment to be or isn't. Eventually things will work out for the best for me and be OK for me. Building my own life and self confidence will provide this for me. I know this does happen alot in a relationship. People somtimes second guess if they did the right thing and realize they did. Doing my own thing will ensure my well being and my happiness if what we decide is to let go of what we had. Ty for your response.
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