It's been almost 2 years since the break up - I just her and her new man, I'm furious

[health]

I saw my ex and her new man - the one she went with 3 days after we broke up.

She was looking good, all playful flirtatious with him - seeming really happy.

 

I'm into self loathing so much now. I say to myself I'm garbage, I'm a loser. I beat myself up.

 

I had a major assignment for school today due but didn't go, I can't think, I can't do anything.

 

In this 2 years I went on 3 major vacations got promoted at work, have been with 3 other girls - but I can't get her out of my head. I don't get how it's so easy for people to find others - while for me it's gotta be special - and then it ends so hard.

 

I actually decided not to meet women anymore - I met so many and none of them liked me like I liked them. It's been such a hard 2 years man.

 

I'm going to try to heal still, my heart is not healed enough to be in a relationship. It will be one day though.

[Dorian85]

Hey man,

 

you almost described my situation to a T, mine is slightly different. But I did share the exact same feelings as you did. A LOT of self loathing, a lot of alone days asking "why not me?". A lot of hittin the bottle lol.

 

Let me tell you that everyone has bad days. However you cope with situations is ok, don't let anyone (especially some dudes) tell you that "loathing yourself and beating yourself up over a chick makes your a pussy"... it doesn't. Far from it. However you gotta deal with the situation to help you get back on your feet emotionally, metally, whatever...is your own deal.

 

Eventually, things turn around. They just do. You'll meet that someone who will make you forget about EVERY single girl you've ever been with before her. And thats someone you'll feel lucky you've met, but you gotta have faith man.

Not faith in God, faith in yourself man. I hate to drop cheesy lines, but there are A LOT of girl out there man....I know youve tested the watters a few times already with no success, but giv eit time.

 

Trust me man, sometimes when i see my ex (we broke up 3 yrs ago) with another guy, it still turns my stomach a bit. But i think its more of an ego thing with us guys...its like that with girls too and their jealousy. Im sure if she saw you with another girl all happy and stuff, a part of her would cringe as well. Its human nature. We get jealous and egos get bruised.

 

Point is, keep your head up. Take some time and enjoy the single life for a bit. Remember : when your single...you are accountable to NO ONE !!! lol.

 

thats the way I see it..and it makes me sleep at night haha

 

good luck man

[health]

Hey man,

 

you almost described my situation to a T, mine is slightly different. But I did share the exact same feelings as you did. A LOT of self loathing, a lot of alone days asking "why not me?". A lot of hittin the bottle lol.

 

Let me tell you that everyone has bad days. However you cope with situations is ok, don't let anyone (especially some dudes) tell you that "loathing yourself and beating yourself up over a chick makes your a pussy"... it doesn't. Far from it. However you gotta deal with the situation to help you get back on your feet emotionally, metally, whatever...is your own deal.

 

Eventually, things turn around. They just do. You'll meet that someone who will make you forget about EVERY single girl you've ever been with before her. And thats someone you'll feel lucky you've met, but you gotta have faith man.

Not faith in God, faith in yourself man. I hate to drop cheesy lines, but there are A LOT of girl out there man....I know youve tested the watters a few times already with no success, but giv eit time.

 

Trust me man, sometimes when i see my ex (we broke up 3 yrs ago) with another guy, it still turns my stomach a bit. But i think its more of an ego thing with us guys...its like that with girls too and their jealousy. Im sure if she saw you with another girl all happy and stuff, a part of her would cringe as well. Its human nature. We get jealous and egos get bruised.

 

Point is, keep your head up. Take some time and enjoy the single life for a bit. Remember : when your single...you are accountable to NO ONE !!! lol.

 

thats the way I see it..and it makes me sleep at night haha

 

good luck man

 

Thanks man, I appreciate it. It's crazy I just went and looked at our pictures together. I feel so lost I don't know what "healing" entails anymore - that's why I'm trying new things - like instead of running away from the photos why not accept them as happy times. I have been no contact for almost the whole 2 years too - until a few months ago when I broke it - never do that.

 

I will be okay, I'm just going to try my best in this course I'm taking, take walks, exercise, read and sleep. I may see a councilor as well.

 

Hope your doing well as well! Thanks again.

[Dmoney28]

Hey Health, i came across your profile, and it hit home. I too am 2 years out of a LTR. And honestly, looking back at those few months, i am soooo much better now. We just have to accept it for what it is. We HAD a relationship with this person...it was a period in our life...now we have to move on to the next phase. About a year ago i ran into her and her new boyfriend at a resturaunt. And after a bottle of Jack Daniels and a long conversation with my father, i made a choice...either i survive this, cut contact and move on...or let this situation ruin me and my life.

Although i have traveled all around the world for work ( Navy Contractor) and have dated and hooked up with pretty women; from Guam to Germany i still feel a that nagging feeling deep inside that wont quite go away. feeling i want her and need her still after all this time. And it may never go away. but i know how to deal with it; manage it;control it.

So i there with you man. Just keep moving forward..never backward.