havehope Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 Most of you know my story: ex cheated on me after 4 years After 1.5yrs he's finally apologizing and coming clean about everything. Says he knows what his problem was and that he can fix it and now he knows he wants to be with me and try again I dont know if I'm listening to him because I'm single and tired of being alone, or because I still miss him and care for him, or because I know how happy we were before the cheating or what. I don't know if some of his reasons for cheating are legitly forgiveable. Are some reasons more forgiveable than others? I don't know if I could be intimate with him again, knowing he cheated and left me and was intimate with someone else... I would constantly be thinking about him having sex with the OW. I don't even know how to approach this. We've been on speaking terms recently and now this has been coming into the conversation
Author havehope Posted November 29, 2010 Author Posted November 29, 2010 that he was young and emotions/hormones/sex were influencing him more then than now, (cheating as a horny teenager vs. cheating as a young man I guess?), that we were too serious and he wanted more freedom to sow his oats before settling down, that we weren't having sex as often as he wanted, etc. Should I have the same expectations of faithfulness from him as a teenager then, compared to now as a young man? I'd like to tell myself yes - but its so hard to think that there are men out there who value fidelity. Its hard to find faithfullness from men these days - I know there are men out there that do. I guess as I write his reasons, I know... It just hard not to tell myself that I'm an exception. That our relationship was an exception to the cheating rule. That he's different from all the other guys and he really learned that there is more to a relationship than sex. That he still loves me. I feel that i'm in over my head now, because when he talks about the future, I dont say yes... but I don't say no either. I don't know what to say. Heart says yes. Head says no. I hate being single. I don't want to compromise myself, but does it mean something that I haven't had a bf in the 1.5yrs since we broke up?
mitchell Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 Will you have sex more frequently if you get back together? If not, he's likely to just cheat and break your heart again.
Author havehope Posted November 29, 2010 Author Posted November 29, 2010 to be honest I didn't really know he was dissatisfied - we did it at least once a day. He NEVER told me he wanted it more. The issue of libio isn't there - I'm horney all the damn time, I wouldn't mind a few times a day or whatnot. Its that if we gave it another shot, and it took me many months so to beable to forgive and be 100% intimate with him again, I don't even know if he could go that long without it, while we worked on other things. I don't like that feeling of pressure. I feel like sex would always have to be on his schedule. Or that I'd have to have sex multiple times 24/7 just to get him to stay. I want someone to stay for more than that though
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