Waitforme Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 I'm completely and madly in love with a friend I've known forever. We live a distance away but talk on the phone all the time, he visits me and we have a great time together, we know everything about each other. There is a true friendship. He tells me everything. He has a girlfriend but isn't committed to her. Thing is I'd drop everything to be with him, he is an amazing man. He treats me so well, goes out if his way to do things and tells me that he loves me. I know he doesn't find me attractive, well not these days but maybe early on (which I didn't realise). The reality is we will never be lovers...thing is he has set the standard so high I just don't know how to move past him and and find love for myself. HELP! I think he has an idea of how I feel but I could never tell him, I think I'd loose him if I did. Who else has gone through this and how did you do it without cutting them completely out of their lives?
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 Women just don't get that the only reason men are in friendships like you describe is because they are in line for your romantic affections. It's a sure thing for you. At such time as when he no longer has that girlfriend, just 'man-up' and ask him to DATE you. He'll be totally into the opportunity and you'll at least get your chance with him. You have to take some initiative when the time is right though!
goingstrong Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 I know he doesn't find me attractive, Then your never gonna be anything more than friends...sorry. If you go after him, he is going to run.
Leandro Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 Are you being sarcastic? A guy in a relationship does not engage another woman unless he's looking to cheat. And if that guy is a close friend, it's all the more reason the OP needs to cut him off becasue he does not respect her. I agree with p4percut. If this guy can do that while in a relationship, he can do it if he gets with the OP.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 People, listen to yourselves: The OP and this guy have known one another "forever". They have maintained a seeming good "friendship" even though the OP believes "he doesn't find her attractive" and that "they will never be lovers" As I stated, the ONLY reason the guy is maintaining any connection with the OP is precisely because he sees himself as being "in line for her romantic affections". (as has no doubt always been the case) Now where on earth is the "sarcasm" in that??? And how can you conclude that one of two people who have known each other "forever" "doesn't respect" the other? Had the guy been "looking to cheat", just what in the world do you think is stopping him???? Does the OP sound like she would turn him down for any reason???
Perhaps Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 You don't ask him: you don't get to be with him. You ask him: you may get to be with him. One choice offers a possibility.
strength-abounds Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Then your never gonna be anything more than friends...sorry. If you go after him, he is going to run. I agree. I just walked away from a friendship with a woman that confessed her romantic feelings about me. My advice, don't cross the friendship line. He will bail out of the friendship.
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