Green Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 I don't believe in leagues at all. I've had some pretty attractive girls want to date me. I don't claim to be the best looking guy either. But I know more then just one guy who really isn't the best looking dude, get an amazingly beautiful girlfriend. My sister recently set up a guy i went to high school with, with her cousin. Her cousin is very very attractive. Him, well not so much. Pretty fat, dead-end job. Not going to college. Down-right hick. But for some reason she likes him, and they click. I was really surprised because I always assumed she would date a pretty boy. I think its all a mindset. Set your standards and don't settle for less.(This is exactly what my friend did. He was always after the thiner girls, even though he wasn't in shape and whatnot) If you do you most likely won't be happy. I'm not saying go for the gold. But what you know you want. If leagues exist, then I guess my standards are to high. Sorry to say, I don't settle for less. It's doubtful you'll fine someone to be EXACTLY what you'd like though. You just find what out-weighs the good and the not so good. what do you mean her cousin? is she a half sister... does that mean the hot cousin isn't even related to you... why didn't she set u up?
Grobyc Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 what do you mean her cousin? is she a half sister... does that mean the hot cousin isn't even related to you... why didn't she set u up? Yeah, half sister. The hot cousin isn't related to me either. I would have turned it down if she set me up with her anyways for a couple reasons. 1. I grew up with her cousin I still consider my sisters cousins family my family too. They treat me like family. So I wouldn't be comfortable with it at all. I might not be related to her by blood, but its close enough where I wouldn't be comfortable with it. 2. I have other interests at the moment. Another girl that I have a thing with. It still amazes me she's dating him. Because every time I seen this guy in the past 6 months, he's ALWAYS been talking about these cute girls that you would think wouldn't date a guy like him. like they were "out of his league". I stand corrected. Out of all the things he doesn't have going for him, she somehow finds the good in him. That right there is what makes me believe there isn't "leagues". This isn't the NFL.
Green Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Yeah, half sister. The hot cousin isn't related to me either. I would have turned it down if she set me up with her anyways for a couple reasons. 1. I grew up with her cousin I still consider my sisters cousins family my family too. They treat me like family. So I wouldn't be comfortable with it at all. I might not be related to her by blood, but its close enough where I wouldn't be comfortable with it. 2. I have other interests at the moment. Another girl that I have a thing with. It still amazes me she's dating him. Because every time I seen this guy in the past 6 months, he's ALWAYS been talking about these cute girls that you would think wouldn't date a guy like him. like they were "out of his league". I stand corrected. Out of all the things he doesn't have going for him, she somehow finds the good in him. That right there is what makes me believe there isn't "leagues". This isn't the NFL. well in the future I would just say our cousin... when you say her cousin it implies you don' think of her as family. Yes this isn't the NFL so people need to stop acting like this is some sporting event. The game is rigged in favor of certain people regardless of what you or I might think and your cousin dating some avg joe is another example of that... not that you don't see the good looking guy and good looking gal togather
florence of suburbia Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 I agree with Green. There's no point in basing relationship choices on cliches. You're relating to an individual, not a statistic.
Green Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 I agree with Green. There's no point in basing relationship choices on cliches. You're relating to an individual, not a statistic. I think this makes the point exactly. You can't go by some made up statistic when you're betting on yourself.
ascendotum Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Leagues dont exist=gross naivete.. we live in a class based society whether we choose to believe it or not.. And matters of league are predominately based on socio-economic factors.. That being said however, Screwing someone out of your league=possible long term dating or marriage=much more difficult.. I have to admit I am surprised that the majority of posters here dismiss the 'he/she's not in my league' concept. It might not something people like to explain or will dismiss when in a relationship, but I reckon plenty of people when they are single and with their amigos they are less shy in evaluating prospects in terms of the quality (looks, career, intelligence) of past partners they have bedded. I agree that is something men mull over more than women, and for the reasons flying outlined 'men bear the brunt of the approach so weigh up their likely prospects beforehand' on the basis of who they have had success with. There are more single people than ever (western society) as a % of population. If you had a thread discussing 'do many singles have higher expectations than themselves today' you would probably get most people here agreeing. Where does having high expectations differ from 'this person is below my league'. I guess it depends how you define league. Is it looks, socio-eco, education level? As someone said before..'If you're determined to believe in leagues, the easiest way to figure out who's in your league is who doesn't reject you.' and on this basis I became a believer in the concept during the years when I struggled with my health and lost weight (ie skinny). I mentioned before how during these times I notice how better educated women and smaller build/thin/slim women were noticeably less friendly. A number of times it was made very clear by the women or via 3rd party feedback that I was no way in their league. Why should more intelligent women be less friendly...because they have higher expectations in all aspects of their life, and I think that can be translated to the 'in my league' concept. I am hard pressed coming up with a relationship (LTR) with the university educated women I have worked with in finance/legal/property sectors where the woman settled for a guy below her in career. Is this considered only dating in your league? On a OLD site a number of years back I noticed 1/2 the slim build women indicated how they have a preference for well built/tall guys. The jocks in the gym I go to insist on only dating/screwing slim build women. Is this a league thing. I tend to think it is.
GoodOnPaper Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 When you go after a woman you arn't competing against another guy... If LS is a guide, it seems that you are competing against several guys -- many of whom the woman is actively dating . . .
somedude81 Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 If LS is a guide, it seems that you are competing against several guys -- many of whom the woman is actively dating . . . Yup, I have first hand experience with this. If she doesn't have a boyfriend and she doesn't hate men, odds are she's dating several guys. Damn right she will compare you with them. The one's who aren't good enough, get kicked to the curb. Girls don't even have to be that hot to do it either.
26.2 Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Haha! This is an interesting topic and one that irks me to no end. I do think that attractiveness matters to a certain extent, but something happens at the top of the line. I work in a gym, specifically the pool area and I see exceptionally attractive, muscular men nearly naked all the time. And they see me too, some of them approach me. I am not drop-dead gorgeous but I have a cute face, petite, muscular frame, and a great smile. I am also fairly flat-chested and have a cute but small booty. There are plenty of females who are more attractive than me roaming around as well. The thing is, I have no desire to approach or talk to these uber attractive dudes, because what falls on the scales as attractiveness increases, is uniqueness of character and depth. I have found over and over that the beautiful people are narcassistic and boring as hell. It's not that they're out of my league, its just a league that holds no interest to me. The problem I have is that I do like fairly attractive men and the only ones I can find who aren't completely self-obsessed or boring are damaged beyond repair and depressed. Guess ya just have to laugh at that.
SteveC80 Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 But at what point do you just settle? Everyone wants a super hot, perfect person. But once age catches up to you, you realize you may never get that person so you settle for average or enough. Do you think an ugly couple thought the other person was actually attractive? Nope. They most likely realized they don't have much of a choice and to take what they can get. I think this applies to most people, aside from the very good looking. This is more true then people want to believe or come out and say The average or unattratcive are not with there first choice or their ideal physically by any stretch,more then likely both in the back of their minds somewhere said this is the best i can do this is my league or speed Doesnt mean they dont fall in love just means they couldnt do any better on the looks scale so they settled in that sense
Crazy Magnet Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 My boyfriend openly admits to having gfs in his past that were way less attractive than he was because he had anxiety issues. He said he was more comfortable around the less attractive ones and had enough courage to ask them out. I find this strange because my boyfriend has always been a little hottie. I've seen his pics from his 20s. Having seen his past gfs I have no doubt as to why his tongue still lolls out whenever he sees me naked. haha They are actually way less attractive than he is. They are very overweight, don't take care of themselves, don't make an effort to look nice, etc.
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