TooAccepting32 Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 (edited) Hi there, We've been together for almost 4 months. We're having sex and it's really good.. we're exploring and it turns out we both like when we take turns being dominant. We were pretty assertive with each other the last few times we did it... and tonight we had a sexy phone chat. The thing is I now feel like I really am a "bad girl".. I'm feeling ashamed and I'm not sure if it's just because I'm not too experienced, or social expectations, or if I really shouldn't be doing it. I like it.. I guess I like the challenge of a guy who can be a little saucy or assertive with me. The relationship is fairly new, he said before we got into this stuff that he's really serious about me and I'm serious about him.. In all other areas of my life I'm respectable, and classy.. I don't want to lose his respect and I don't want to cheapen our relationship by doing dirty things. Will a guy lose respect for a girl if she's very sexual or enjoys something a little kinky? If we role play and he's telling me I'm bad and stuff (LOL I can't believe I'm writing about this) will he start to really think it outside of the bedroom? Should a girl hold back on expressing her full sexuality until there is a more long term or really serious committment? What's the reality? Thanks a lot guys! Edited November 29, 2010 by TooAccepting32
xpaperxcutx Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 Are you guys exclusively bf/gf? Do you guys go on dates? Do you guys spend time together that doesn't revolve around sex? Nothing wrong with being kinky, just as long as you're not publicly expressive about it, I don't see why he would not respect you.
strength-abounds Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 This post is rather, umm, entertaining. As a man with a strong libido for kinky, I have dated women that are "a lady in public and a w***e in the bedroom". Speaking from experience, there is nothing more sexy than dating a woman that can charm the public with classy looks, intelligent conversation, and tons of confidence while knowing that she is a freak in the sheets. Why? Because I know she's freak in the sheets with ME.
Author TooAccepting32 Posted November 29, 2010 Author Posted November 29, 2010 YES... we became exclusive about 3 mths ago. We go on dates (I wouldn't settle for less), and this Saturday was the first time we "stayed in" on purpose.. we both knew what was on the agenda. We did go for breakfast this morning and hung out and talked until the afternoon... but then chatting on the phone tonight we got right back into it. The sexy ratio has been pretty high for the past few days heh heh Thanks for your awesome responses so far
zig Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 That's easy. Just reassure him it's just between you and him (your little secret) and you only do it with him because you feel so comfortable and free when you're around him. He'll respect you.
Pyro Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 the best kind of girl IMO. Just do your part and be honest, truthful, and kind and he'll have no reason to look at you negatively.
sumdude Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 Sound like a pretty good situation to me. As long as there's mutual respect.
Seamless74 Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 Thats marraige material,, Its funny its like we men are judged by or confidence in the matter of claiming you and approaching we tend to judge womens confidence by how comfortable they are with their bodies in the bedroom big, big, turn on....
Sanman Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 Agreed, sounds wonderful to me. The lucky bastard!
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 Hi there, I really am a "bad girl".. I'm feeling ashamed and I'm not sure if it's just because I'm not too experienced, or social expectations, or if I really shouldn't be doing it. I like it.. I guess I like the challenge of a guy who can be a little saucy or assertive with me. Will a guy lose respect for a girl if she's very sexual or enjoys something a little kinky? (LOL I can't believe I'm writing about this) Should a girl hold back on expressing her full sexuality? The parts I haven't omitted fit together like a sexy late-night ad for phone sex or something... and there's a reason for that!
Author TooAccepting32 Posted November 30, 2010 Author Posted November 30, 2010 Sincere: When you cut it up like that it looks ridiculous I don't understand what you mean. Overall guys, this has been very interesting for me.. Men and women have a different experience and it's nice to see that even though women feel societal pressure not to express/admit to our desires, it appears that men aren't judging us. In fact, so far it seems a lot of men respect a woman who knows what she wants. Great and helpful responses!
Engadget Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets is what every straight guy wants.
reservoirdog1 Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets is what every straight guy wants. This. Got it, and it's awesome.
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 What straight man WOULDN'T? My man sure does.
Sivok Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 That's the best kind of girl. Nothing better than dating a lamb only to find out she's a tiger in the bedroom. Don't worry, he doesn't disrespect you at all. In fact I bet he can't believe his luck. I wish there were more classy, confident women like you out there!
NoLongerSad Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 OP, why hasn't your bf asked you to marry him yet?
Author TooAccepting32 Posted December 1, 2010 Author Posted December 1, 2010 Wow, I'm so impressed with the male perspective on this. I'm discovering more and more that a lot of women have it all wrong. What an eye opener. Certainly glad I posted. Kissandmakeup ... nice to hear from a female like me Nolonger: it has only been 4 mths... However he has tried to get me to move in.
NoLongerSad Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Nolonger: it has only been 4 mths... However he has tried to get me to move in. You are gold. Therefore I recommend do NOT move in with this guy unless there is a VERY clear commitment/path to marriage within a very well defined time frame. Not necessarily actually getting engaged, but you definitely can and should hold out for a ring if your bf wants you to move in with him. He's not going to do any better than you; whether or not he knows that yet; and most guys generally need at least a little "nudge" towards marriage. What you want to avoid is moving in with a guy who is not really very serious and is just going to end up wasting your time. You don't want to end up a few years down the road like so many of those chicks who go from one relationship to another where they agree to move in with the guy but it never actually leads anywhere. You should value yourself very highly and you should make sure he is aware of your respect for your own value, without being pushy or arrogant. This assumes you want to marry this guy at some point. If not, or if it's not a strong possibility, you should not move in with him. If he is a good guy and meets your standards, and marriage/kids is something that you want, then don't waste too much time--go for it. (I sound like your grandma don't I?)
Knittress Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 More to the point - why would YOU respect some boring prude of a guy?
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 Clarity, about my post: It means that your words, sincere feelings and slightly-tentative feminine ways appeal to lots and lots of guys. Don't clam-up and be afraid to express yourself to your intimate partners.
Flirt Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 You are gold. Therefore I recommend do NOT move in with this guy unless there is a VERY clear commitment/path to marriage within a very well defined time frame. Not necessarily actually getting engaged, but you definitely can and should hold out for a ring if your bf wants you to move in with him. He's not going to do any better than you; whether or not he knows that yet; and most guys generally need at least a little "nudge" towards marriage. What you want to avoid is moving in with a guy who is not really very serious and is just going to end up wasting your time. You don't want to end up a few years down the road like so many of those chicks who go from one relationship to another where they agree to move in with the guy but it never actually leads anywhere. You should value yourself very highly and you should make sure he is aware of your respect for your own value, without being pushy or arrogant. This assumes you want to marry this guy at some point. If not, or if it's not a strong possibility, you should not move in with him. If he is a good guy and meets your standards, and marriage/kids is something that you want, then don't waste too much time--go for it. (I sound like your grandma don't I?) 1. Getting married isn't an assertion of self worth, or, at least, it shouldn't be. 2. Not wanting to get married doesn't necessarily mean one isn't serious about a relationship, or is afraid of commitment. 3. Pressuring someone you barely know (4 months is nothing) into marriage is irresponsible, manipulative and a sure way to make a relationship ultimately fail. 4. People should choose to be and stay together because they want to, not because the state, or God, or the spaghetti monster is watching over them. Therefore, the "tie him/her down before they get bored with you" attitude is unhealthy and contradicts human nature quite profoundly. Marriage is just a legal document. The feelings behind it are what matters. 5. Moving in with someone is the perfect way to find out first-hand if married life with that person is a realistic idea. 6. Many of those women who have gone from one relationship to another will probably make much better life partners than those who think that life is a house with a white picket fence and 2.5 children. I apologize if any of this came across as mean-spirited. It was not meant to be.
radiokilledthetvstar Posted December 1, 2010 Posted December 1, 2010 If you're not kinky in the bedroom most blokes would probably feel short changed, sex by it's very nature is kinky so you might as well push the boat out.
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