U1987 Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 So I saw my coworker again last night. She had invited me again to go clubbing again Black Friday, but I was working late (we work at a department store) so it wasn't going to happen for me. I apologized for not being able to make it, but said we should go out "one-on-one" again, and said "And hey! No rushing home to meet your friends, and no getting knocked out by a book shelf again!" I had meant for it to be said jokingly, but I'm worried she took it as me being punitive. She just gave a short uncomfortable chuckle and nothing more. Also, later in the night, I said something which I'm worried she thought was creepy. I had meant to sound creepy as a joke, but I'm worried she took it seriously. She found a broken security sensor, which means somebody broke it off some clothes and stole it. She said "Looks we had shoplifters again." I said "Yeah. You know what? Someone should make exploding sensors. Something that will blow the hands off anyone who tries to tamper with it." I then looked off into the distance with a blank stare and a slow monotone voice, "It can be done. It would be... easy." I had meant to say it as a joke, but she didn't laugh or respond. She just changed the subject quickly, so like I said, I'm worried she took it the wrong way. We also had different but overlapping shifts and she left without saying goodbye to me, which kinda worried me. How should I go about this? What can I say or do to get a date with her that she doesn't cut short to go home and get ready to go clubbing with her friends?
xpaperxcutx Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 Don't you feel like you're trying too hard? Why not just be straight forward. The only thing you would have to worry about is her shooting you down. But then it wouldn't matter because you just want casual sex right?
Star Gazer Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 What can I say or do to get a date with her that she doesn't cut short to go home and get ready to go clubbing with her friends? I don't know that there's anything you can do to prevent her cutting it short. If she's not enjoying herself, that may be something she chooses to do. As for getting the date to begin with, I agree with Paper in that you're trying too hard. What about a simple, "I'd like to take you out on a date. How's about [activity] on [day of the week]?"
Seamless74 Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 Don't you feel like you're trying too hard? You like football bro? Your like a quarterback tryin to fit a pass into a place you really shouldnt... Gotta keep in mind man your both victims of circumstance.. It wasnt her choice to start working there just because you did.. Your in tight quarters daily simply because of happenstance, At some point if she was interested shed let you know.. Your mindset is gonna set you up for a fall.. Just leave it be. If she wants to go home with you after the party great.. But if shes not getting your hints its because she doesnt want to get them...
Author U1987 Posted November 29, 2010 Author Posted November 29, 2010 I don't know that there's anything you can do to prevent her cutting it short. If she's not enjoying herself, that may be something she chooses to do. As for getting the date to begin with, I agree with Paper in that you're trying too hard. What about a simple, "I'd like to take you out on a date. How's about [activity] on [day of the week]?" Because I've done that already. I dunno if you read about it in my previous thread. We had our first date on Tuesday, but she cut it way short right at the beginning, telling me she had to be back home in less than 2 hours to get ready to go clubbing with her friends. She invited me to come along, but I would have preferred it if it were just the 2 of us that night. What I'm asking is, how do I prevent her from saying that "I gotta be home by X:00" again? And how should I respond if she DOES say that?
Author U1987 Posted November 29, 2010 Author Posted November 29, 2010 You like football bro? Not really. Not a sports fan in general. Your like a quarterback tryin to fit a pass into a place you really shouldnt... I have no idea what any of that means.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 Not really. Not a sports fan in general. I have no idea what any of that means. In football you have plays. Plays follow a certain set of rules that only you and your teammates know about. If you're acting on impulse or acting outside of the " play" you'll just get a fumble. Which technically means you strike out.
Star Gazer Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 What I'm asking is, how do I prevent her from saying that "I gotta be home by X:00" again? And what I'm saying is, you can't. You can't control someone else's desires or behavior. The best you can do is say that you'd like to take her out on X day at X time doing X activity, which will mean that the date will last X hours (and therefore will last longer than X time), and see if she agrees.
Grobyc Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 (edited) So I saw my coworker again last night. She had invited me again to go clubbing again Black Friday, but I was working late (we work at a department store) so it wasn't going to happen for me. I apologized for not being able to make it, but said we should go out "one-on-one" again, and said "And hey! No rushing home to meet your friends, and no getting knocked out by a book shelf again!" I had meant for it to be said jokingly, but I'm worried she took it as me being punitive. She just gave a short uncomfortable chuckle and nothing more. Also, later in the night, I said something which I'm worried she thought was creepy. I had meant to sound creepy as a joke, but I'm worried she took it seriously. She found a broken security sensor, which means somebody broke it off some clothes and stole it. She said "Looks we had shoplifters again." I said "Yeah. You know what? Someone should make exploding sensors. Something that will blow the hands off anyone who tries to tamper with it." I then looked off into the distance with a blank stare and a slow monotone voice, "It can be done. It would be... easy." I had meant to say it as a joke, but she didn't laugh or respond. She just changed the subject quickly, so like I said, I'm worried she took it the wrong way. We also had different but overlapping shifts and she left without saying goodbye to me, which kinda worried me. How should I go about this? What can I say or do to get a date with her that she doesn't cut short to go home and get ready to go clubbing with her friends? Star Gazer is Correct. Don't try TOO hard. Be your self. That's really the key. The trick to it is, working on your self. Make sure you always look your best, start hitting up the gym if you have to. Don't have a lot of friends? Get some. Its a turn off to many girls if a guy doesn't have a lot of friends because then he might be clingy because he doesn't have other things to occupy his time. Work on being confident. Hobbies. Don't have any? Find a couple. myself for example, I'm a musican and I fix computers, plus I love movies and anything to do with the internet, sports, outside, hunting, fishing. Always open to try new things. Always be working on your self to portray a better YOU. Now, I'm not saying be someone else. It's important to have Hobbies and friends and such, Looking your best is a given. I know guys that don't know why they can't get a date and its because they're shut-ins. Go out be social, do what you have to. Edited November 29, 2010 by Grobyc
xpaperxcutx Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 Star Gazer is Correct. Don't try TOO hard. Be your self. That's really the key. The trick to it is, working on your self. Make sure you always look your best, start hitting up the gym if you have to. Don't have a lot of friends? Get some. Its a turn off to many girls if a guy doesn't have a lot of friends because then he might be clingy because he doesn't have other things to occupy his time. Work on being confident. Hobbies. Don't have any? Find a couple. myself for example, I'm a musican and I fix computers, plus I love movies and anything to do with the internet, sports, outside, hunting, fishing. Always open to try new things. Always be working on your self to portray a better YOU. Now, I'm not saying be someone else. It's important to have Hobbies and friends and such, Looking your best is a given. I know guys that don't know why they can't get a date and its because they're shut-ins. Go out be social, do what you have to. LOL this post made me laugh Sorry G, but confidence isn't his problem. If you read his past threads, he doesn't care about dating this girl so much as dating her to get into her pants. He wants to conquer a party girl in hopes of casual sex.
Grobyc Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 (edited) LOL this post made me laugh Sorry G, but confidence isn't his problem. If you read his past threads, he doesn't care about dating this girl so much as dating her to get into her pants. He wants to conquer a party girl in hopes of casual sex. When I wrote my post, and then posted. I only saw the first post then *facepalm* as I saw there were others. My bad. I was under the assumption he had a confidence problem because he's worried about so many things. Just relax and let it roll. I vote for movie night. Have her help you make dinner exchange idle chit-chat get to know her or whatever you want to do. They say body language speaks louder then words. I'm not one for casual sex. Just not my style. Edited November 29, 2010 by Grobyc
O'Malley Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 What I'm asking is, how do I prevent her from saying that "I gotta be home by X:00" again? And how should I respond if she DOES say that? "I'd like just the two of us to go out to (specific day/time/event). What do you say?" Anything other than a yes means you need to move on. Frankly I don't think she's interested in anything other than having you go clubbing with her pals and providing her attention. Stop focusing on her; if she has that many friends, start getting to know some of them.
welikeincrowds Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 (edited) She said "Looks we had shoplifters again." I said "Yeah. You know what? Someone should make exploding sensors. Something that will blow the hands off anyone who tries to tamper with it." I then looked off into the distance with a blank stare and a slow monotone voice, "It can be done. It would be... easy." Where's Tim the Enchanter when you need him? EDIT: U1987, if she doesn't get your sense of humor, then you're not going to be able to get what you want. It's that simple. Behind your looks, your ability to make her laugh is your next most important tool. You need that to lubricate her feelings for you throughout the night. Of course, I would be framing this completely differently if you were doing what I think you should. This is a fool's errand, U1987. You're going to have to keep awaiting chance encounters until you stop looking for sex toys and start looking for a woman. Edited November 29, 2010 by welikeincrowds
irc333 Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 I didn't read every single post, but I tried scanning through them, but no one mentioned how this could lead to this guy getting fired over a sexual harassment situation??
Author U1987 Posted November 29, 2010 Author Posted November 29, 2010 Star Gazer is Correct. Don't try TOO hard. Be your self. That's really the key. The trick to it is, working on your self. Make sure you always look your best, start hitting up the gym if you have to. Don't have a lot of friends? Get some. Its a turn off to many girls if a guy doesn't have a lot of friends because then he might be clingy because he doesn't have other things to occupy his time. Work on being confident. Hobbies. Don't have any? Find a couple. myself for example, I'm a musican and I fix computers, plus I love movies and anything to do with the internet, sports, outside, hunting, fishing. Always open to try new things. Always be working on your self to portray a better YOU. Now, I'm not saying be someone else. It's important to have Hobbies and friends and such, Looking your best is a given. I know guys that don't know why they can't get a date and its because they're shut-ins. Go out be social, do what you have to. This is all obvious trivia. Did you even bother to read my post?
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 She's not interested in going on a one - on - one date with you. Sorry. She just isn't. She would've given more than an awkward chuckle when you mentioned it if she was. She's just interested in adding you to her entourage of men that go out with her, buy her drinks, and pay her attention. I think the only way you even have a possibility of getting a hook - up out of her is to go out clubbing with them again, wait till she's drunk, and make some physical moves then. But like you said, that's not your cup of tea (and I don't blame you). So move on. On to the next one. And stop trying so damn hard. It's painful to read about.
Tim The Enchanter Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 She said "Looks we had shoplifters again." I said "Yeah. You know what? Someone should make exploding sensors. Something that will blow the hands off anyone who tries to tamper with it." I then looked off into the distance with a blank stare and a slow monotone voice, "It can be done. It would be... easy." I had meant to say it as a joke, but she didn't laugh or respond. That's probably because it wasn't funny.
sweetjasmine Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 What I'm asking is, how do I prevent her from saying that "I gotta be home by X:00" again? You can't. And how should I respond if she DOES say that? "Okay. Bye."
dispatch3d Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 Yeah uhhh this one is blown. Both those jokes did not go over well. If I had that response to one joke I'd probably work on just getting her talking, making her friendly, etc. Please don't tell that kind of joke again. Where you try to be creepy in a "funny" way. Especially if you just met her. I can't even picture an instance where I'm telling a joke that's funny because the context is I'm weird. Telling degrading jokes about yourself is not good. Best case you come off insecure and funny, worst case you are insecure and NOT funny. Yikes not a good combo. Also if you were just funny you would feel little to no need to tell degrading jokes. There's so many other things to mock or make fun of, why tell jokes that are degrading to yourself or others? Anyhow, that's my spiel. And the people talking about self improvement are right. Self improvement is a key component to getting good or improving at dating. fwiw you are trying way too hard. I wouldn't even try to "make up" for something I said to a girl. If I'm a dick I'll apologize for it, or if I made them upset I'll just say oops my bad. Doesn't go beyond that though. Ultimately if they don't want to like me, or be friends, I really don't care.
Author U1987 Posted December 2, 2010 Author Posted December 2, 2010 Yeah uhhh this one is blown. Both those jokes did not go over well. If I had that response to one joke I'd probably work on just getting her talking, making her friendly, etc. Please don't tell that kind of joke again. Where you try to be creepy in a "funny" way. Especially if you just met her. I can't even picture an instance where I'm telling a joke that's funny because the context is I'm weird. Telling degrading jokes about yourself is not good. It wasn't a degrading joke! The intent was saying something that was absurdly psychotic. Do you ever watch It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? There's an episode where a character named Charlie talks about how he killed a whole bunch of rats that were infesting the place. Then he just stares off into the distance and scares everyone in the room by saying "Sometimes, I feel like a human life... isn't any more important than a rat's." That's what I was going for.
loverofloveandstuff Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 It wasn't a degrading joke! The intent was saying something that was absurdly psychotic. Do you ever watch It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? There's an episode where a character named Charlie talks about how he killed a whole bunch of rats that were infesting the place. Then he just stares off into the distance and scares everyone in the room by saying "Sometimes, I feel like a human life... isn't any more important than a rat's." That's what I was going for. ahuh, and that's why Charlie fails with women.
irc333 Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 That's probably because to HERit wasn't funny. There Fixed
irc333 Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 However, jokes involving cruelty to animals, major turn off to women...now matter HOW you put it.
flying Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 We had our first date on Tuesday, but she cut it way short right at the beginning This was her giving you a cue that the date wasn't working for her and she's not sexually interested in you. , telling me she had to be back home in less than 2 hours to get ready to go clubbing with her friends. She invited me to come along, This was her giving you a cue that she'll hang out with you as a friend, but that's going to be it, period. but I would have preferred it if it were just the 2 of us that night. No matter what you want, she was sending you a very clear signal that this is not what she wanted. What I'm asking is, how do I prevent her from saying that "I gotta be home by X:00" again? And how should I respond if she DOES say that? You can't, because she's not interested. This one's not happening, stop trying.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 It wasn't a degrading joke! The intent was saying something that was absurdly psychotic. Do you ever watch It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? There's an episode where a character named Charlie talks about how he killed a whole bunch of rats that were infesting the place. Then he just stares off into the distance and scares everyone in the room by saying "Sometimes, I feel like a human life... isn't any more important than a rat's." That's what I was going for. Maybe this will help you next you feel the need to tell a " psychotic" joke- DON'T!
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