befreckled Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 Background: I met someone off an internet dating site. He was in the city for a short time. We had one date and I fell violently ill (not related to said date!) so we never were able to meet up for a 2nd date. A couple months later, we start communicating via emails, chat and things start becoming more frequent, consistent. We chat almost every day. A month into it, we discussed if we both wanted to see where this was going and we agreed that we did. We both agreed to stop dating other people although, we didn't discuss taking our profiles off. Seems fair to me. We arranged to meet up during the Christmas break for a vacation and to see if this would work. A few days ago, we were asking each other silly questions and, one of the questions was "how long ago did you kiss/sleep with someone?" and his reply was "within the last couple mths" which completely confused me. I thought we were giving this a try. As it turns out, he met someone else off the dating site in my city as well and had a couple dates with her but since he returned, they have not communicated, as far as he was concerned, there was no long distance plans etc. Logically, it was before we got serious about a future so it shouldn't matter. And, he could have not told me about it but he did. I want to let it go, I truly do. It does hurt though. Does that make sense?
folieadeux Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 Asking those types of questions is always dangerous, especially because you got the answer you didn't want. It makes sense to be a bit down about it because you seem to be really interested in this guy, but I wouldn't let that impact any future you may have together. He was with this other girl before you had any "official" plans so I wouldn't let this destroy your Christmas plans. After this visit though, and assuming everything goes well, I would definitely set some ground rules in regards to exclusivity so as to avoid similar situations in the future.
Author befreckled Posted November 30, 2010 Author Posted November 30, 2010 Asking those types of questions is always dangerous, especially because you got the answer you didn't want. It makes sense to be a bit down about it because you seem to be really interested in this guy, but I wouldn't let that impact any future you may have together. He was with this other girl before you had any "official" plans so I wouldn't let this destroy your Christmas plans. After this visit though, and assuming everything goes well, I would definitely set some ground rules in regards to exclusivity so as to avoid similar situations in the future. Thanks for the input. After he told me, he was genuinely worried about me being upset/sad. And tried his level best to reassure me which helped. Christmas plans are still on. Will definitely set ground rules if we move forward.
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