Does he give a ****?

[rebeccajones]

I saw my ex, spent a few days with him a week ago. I opened up and let him know I was interested in getting back with him, we had not spoken for a few months. Since that time, a week ago I have not heard from him. We had an ok time, I was emotional and he said he wanted me to forget about him and that he did not love me. Yet we stayed and had a good time together for a few days, he thought maybe he would feel something if we just had a good time so we did. I just enjoyed myself. We both did. At the end of it all I asked him if he wanted to get together again and he said yes. But like I said no word or contact from him since. I did contact him once to invite him for Thanksgiving. He went to visit his family so he could not make it. He may still be with his family, but I still think he could call. I'm thinking if he was interested in me again he would call me. I have opened up and let him know how I feel and even invited him to be with me on Thanksgiving. I just feel like an idiot and I am having a hard time letting go.

[SithLord]

Rebecca I seen you post often about him. Let him go sugar!!...focus on whats important to you...Life continues...u cant force anybody to been with you.

[rebeccajones]

Yea I want to but I want him still but maybe it is just because he is rejecting me! It sux.

[EricaH329]

he said he wanted me to forget about him and that he did not love me

he thought maybe he would feel something if we just had a good time

 

There is so much wrong with this. He said he doesn't love you. Having a good time together does not make one fall in love with another.

 

A question i'd like to know the answer to, is why in the world would you settle for someone who has to 'try' to feel something for you?? Come on, you have self respect in there somewhere, it's time to find it!!

 

I'm thinking if he was interested in me again he would call me.

 

I'm thinking, if he was interested in you he wouldn't have told you to forget about him and that he doesn't love you.

[LittleMike]

Completely agree with EricaH329

[rebeccajones]

Yea, maybe not (self-respect) but I found this and it is helping me see the light. No I'm not advertising.

 

http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/coping-with-feeling-rejected-by-mr-unavailables-assclowns-part-two/

[EricaH329]

Yea, maybe not (self-respect) but I found this and it is helping me see the light. No I'm not advertising.

 

http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/coping-with-feeling-rejected-by-mr-unavailables-assclowns-part-two/

 

Whatever works for you, in a positive way of course. As long as you understand that putting your time into someone who is clearly not interested is not in your best interest. And by continuing to stick around is disrespectful to yourself (hence, the self respect).

 

Whatever it is that you do, I truly hope that you do not settle for anything less than you deserve.

[rebeccajones]

I don't want to put my time into him. I don't. I hope too that I don't settle for less. He is not interested, but it's the rejection that kills me. Maybe I'm personalizing it. Anyway I will get over it. The following is perfect for me.

 

"They’re not ‘rejecting’ you; they’re rejecting having to behave like a half decent guy in a relationship that feels responsible to someone, has to be committed, and loves, trusts, cares, and respects. That’s not someone you want to be giving the time of day never mind any tears of rejection… They’ve also given you a reprieve and the sooner you realise that you are not alone, that many a woman has experienced this and that you will not change him, is the sooner you can get over him and start living your life."

[SithLord]

Drop your ego. Wasting time and energy, when you can redirect into something you enjoy and love...

[EricaH329]

I don't want to put my time into him. I don't. I hope too that I don't settle for less. He is not interested, but it's the rejection that kills me. Maybe I'm personalizing it. Anyway I will get over it. The following is perfect for me.

 

"They’re not ‘rejecting’ you; they’re rejecting having to behave like a half decent guy in a relationship that feels responsible to someone, has to be committed, and loves, trusts, cares, and respects. That’s not someone you want to be giving the time of day never mind any tears of rejection… They’ve also given you a reprieve and the sooner you realise that you are not alone, that many a woman has experienced this and that you will not change him, is the sooner you can get over him and start living your life."

 

What I am about to say will most undoubtedly hurt. But I think you must hear it so that you can stop living in ignorance (please, do not take that the wrong way) and start seeing things for how they really are.

 

Say you meet a guy, who you do not like. No matter what the reason for it is, you just don't see him in a romantic sense. Now, say he falls in love with you, or cares for you in a romantic sense. Would you be rejecting him by telling him that you are not interested in him? Or would you be 'rejecting having to behave like a half decent girl in a relationship that feels responsible to someone, has to be committed, and loves, trusts, cares, and respects'???

 

The answer is you would be rejecting him. Because you are more than capable of having a romantic relationship with someone else.

 

The point is, not everyone is going to want to be in a romantic relationship with you. Whatever their reason. And that's ok, because there will be others who will want to be in a relationship with you.

[rebeccajones]

I do think it's an ego thing.

 

Erica you don't know him I do and I do know that he is lost and may not be ready to have the kind of relationship I want where he fills my needs. Maybe he just is not able to because he is not ready and does not have his **** together. I don't think he is rejecting me, anyway I rejected him too in the first place because he is not making an effort to work!

 

I have dumped guys in the past but I don't think I was rejecting them, it was not a good time for me to love and care for someone.

 

So I believe what you are saying is ignorant (please, do not take that the wrong way).

[EricaH329]

I do think it's an ego thing.

 

Erica you don't know him I do and I do know that he is lost and may not be ready to have the kind of relationship I want where he fills my needs. Maybe he just is not able to because he is not ready and does not have his **** together. I don't think he is rejecting me, anyway I rejected him too in the first place because he is not making an effort to work!

 

You are very right. I do not know him. I can only go off of what you write here. And he may be confused and does not know what he wants, but (just like myself) you can only go based off of what he says and what he does.

 

Do the two go hand in hand? I believe so, from what you've written here. He has told you that he doesn't love you and wants you to forget about him. Yes, those are only words. But, what are the actions that follow? Coldness? Aloofness? Disregard for your feelings? I believe so. And since that is the case, we can determine that whether or not he is confused, he is sticking by his words. Which means, you need to up and leave this situation, or continue to be treated poorly. Your choice.

 

I have dumped guys in the past but I don't think I was rejecting them, it was not a good time for me to love and care for someone.

 

If that is the case, then are you ready to love and care for someone now? It seems so, given this particular situation. Why not re-visit the ones you broke up with? Since you are capable of loving and caring for someone now.

 

So I believe what you are saying is ignorant (please, do not take that the wrong way).

 

You are entitled to your own opinion.

[rebeccajones]

Yes I need to leave the situation you are right! Im figuring out how to let go and that I can't base my self worth on the fact that he doesn't want me. Which I was. I don't need his love to validate me.

Edited November 30, 2010 by rebeccajones